Dead Rhymers UnitedコミュのWelcome!!!!! (and first piece)

Yeah, so I guess I better start this shit off right. Here's my piece that I wrote for a series of poems that I self-published called "Tales from the East".

Diary Part 1

The sun didn't greet me today, I hate it when that happens
Especially after the moon made faces at me late in the evening
And I hate it when I have to walk out in the middle of the night, just to
stop myself from crying
It feels like every leaf is spying
And the wind on my cheek is only lying...
Today, the waves looked so fucking inviting
Why won't these dark thoughts stop their biting
At least when I'm writing...
I know I can keep fighting if someone opens their mind and reminds me that
I'm not just some number on the annual grade paper and I'm just fine
Maybe it takes time....
But time will only make me feel lonelier than I imagined
Only makes me think twice about the belt I've already fastened
For the ride out of this world...
No, I don't think the solution to this is an honest girl
Though I am in need of someone who can believe in these words.
Mr know-it-all is only going to read out the pages
There's no fucking space for a mind with twisted rages
Ah blame the young age, like I'm growing out of this
There's no pure bliss in the middle of this hopelessness
Of schools saying it's the parents' fault and the parents saying it's the
schools' fault
But who the fuck's listening to these thoughts?
I'm fucking lost...
And I'm too tired now to find my way out
This pen has done enough screaming of my lousy doubts
Maybe tomorrow they'll notice the pain
But then again, they'll probably think I'm just insane....

any thoughts are welcome.

コメント(2)

最初
全て
最新の40件

[1] mixiユーザー 04月05日 22:12

Well, here's part 2, if anyone not familiar with this piece wants to read it. Thoughts are always welcome.

Diary Part 2

Looks like the sun is never going to greet me
At least I have the clouds to keep me company
and maybe those raindrops might decide to fall sometime
Onto this dried up mind of mine..
The noise from the outside deafens my conscience
I can't hear my own will, I'm losing perseverance
Where does this all go? I don't know
And I don't know who I really am anymore
Those friendly smiles only look like bad omens to this eye
that's been tried so many times in the this line of competition
All I ask for is recognition..
I didn't have these dreams so I could see them being crushed
by constant repetition of orders and have my life rushed
For me to be a face in the crowd..
So loud are my doubts I'm about to break out
and set fire to these liars who try to wire my fucking mouth
Superficial sympathy is all I receive in times like these
The only thing I learned from school is that people deceive
For their own self-complacence
And I see my life getting caught in their impatience...
Trying to pry open my identitity so I comply
to these lies that promise me this life will be devine
Then why?
Why do they treat me like this, I'm not emotion-less
Perhaps they'll listen to my lips if I use my fists
but my wrists are too weak to fight this. Alone.
This is where I work but I'm no more than a clone.
A fucking clone...
And now the moon is gone.
So long, so long....

[2] mixiユーザー 04月06日 22:57

Not bad. I don't like holding myself to a rhyme scheme. But that's a personal dislike.

ログインすると、みんなのコメントがもっと見れるよ