2つ目ですが、
> She also has good skill to teach English.
の部分ですが、「しかも」の場合は And also の方がいいかも?
In addition とかもありかも知れませんね。
最初の文だと「彼女も」になってしまうような気がします。
デリク以外に、という意味では合ってるかも知れませんが…(^^;
むむむ、とてもハイレベルなセンテンスですね、さすがです しむしむと同意見でbe動詞は必要だと思います。
The other day when she was late, our manager warned her that if she was late again, the manager would kick her out.
でいいと思いますよ!
ただ細かいことですがthe manager→he
ですっきりさせたほーがいいと思います!
Hey guys,
due to time constraints, I will be correcting this diary in english. From the above diary I can see only a few mistakes.
1.
Apparently,the reason why she was fired is she sometimes late to work.
This sentence implies cause and effect, she was fired "because" she was late to work. Also the tense is past tense, and keeping it in the same tense, "was" should be used than "is". Another addition to improve sentence fluidity is to add the verb of "show". You can use "late to work" but it seems very impersonal, So the corrected version is " Apparently, the reason why she was fired was BECAUSE she sometimes showed up late to work."
2.
The other day when she late, our manager warned her that if she late again the manager will kick her out."
しむしむさん is correct in stating that you don't use the word manager twice in the same sentence. But I wouldn't used he again, because the subject is only on your friend. Also we do not use the term kick out unless we mean physically. In terms of business and jobs, it is called being fired or layed off. In this case it was a stern warning so either "fired" or "let go" is more appropriate. So the corrected sentence would be:
"The other day when she late, our manager warned her that if she late again she would be fired."
3.
"Her boyfriend is Japanese guy and he is dancer.
So she needs enough money to go to Japan."
Here you are separating your ideas too much. I think you have a some of the same problems I have in Japanese, in making more fluid sentences. So in the first sentence, "Her boyfriend is also a Japanese dancer." The "also" connects to the previous sentence, and by saying boyfriend we automatically know he is a guy, so we don't have to say it again, and Japanese dancer is who the boyfriend is. The second sentence is grammatically correct but to your story it is not. You forgot to mention the verb on how she plans to get enough money. In this case it is " She needs to save enough money to go to Japan"