ガンダムを英語にするコミュのカイ・シデンの手紙

英語口語講座とか「カイ＝シデンの手紙」
http://mixi.jp/view_bbs.pl?id=13745508&comm_id=11230
のまとめ


Dear Hayato Kobayashi,

It was nice to see you again.
It's been years, hasn't it?
How's your wife FRAU BOW and kids?
They're lucky to have you.
I wish I were you.
Captain Quattro, he is CHAR!
He should become the leader, but he is satisfied with being a mere soldier.
I really don't like that he is escaping from reality, so I don't want to be around him.
I am going to collect information.
T......


訂正箇所
１．親しみを表すため、ただ、to Hayato　と宛てるよりDear Hayatoに
２．最近出会っておきながらどれ位会っていないのか尋ねるのは不自然なことから
Do you know have(how) many years have passed since I saw you last?
から
It's been years, hasn't it?に
３．FRAW BAWの綴りを有力説であるFRAU BOWに
４．They sure should be happy with you. をThey're lucky to have you.に
５．固有名詞の前の不定冠詞は原則的にはありえない
この場合のシャアは一人しかいないので「例外」からは外れる
a Char から　Charへ。
６．becomeの現在分詞はありえない
He should be becoming the leader から、He should become the leader. へ。
（He should be OUR leaderへと変えるとの指摘もあったが、カラバとエウーゴの組織的な違い、あとカイがどの側のリーダーであるのか明確に述べてないため、曖昧にしておくのが無難と判断。）
７．I really don't like his attitude of escaping from reality. からI really don't like THAT HE IS escaping from realityに
８．I really don't like that he is escaping from reality.
So I don't want to be with him.
。。。と意味的につながる二文を一文にまとめて、
I really don't like that he is escaping from reality, so I don't want to be with him.
とした。
９．I don't want to be with him.をI don't want to be around him. に。。別にカイとクワトロは二人のチームを組んでる訳ではないので。
１０． I am going to gather the information. のgather をcollectに
(gatherと大変似ているが、特に”その場にない何らかの価値のあるものを収集する”ニュアンスがあり、集める”内容”に重点がおかれる　出典；英次郎より)
１１．不可算名詞であるinformationの前にあるtheを消す
（あの情報！唯一無比な限定された情報でなければ冠詞がないほうが自然）