英語口語コーナーコミュのSTUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:

>
>
>BOY : May I hold your hand?
>GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy...
>
>GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
>BOY : You love me...
>
>GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
>BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
>GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
>BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..
>
>GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
>BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
>BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
>GIRL : How soon??
>
>BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
>GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>
>
>SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
>TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his
>mouth.
>
>MAN : You remind me of the sea.
>WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
>MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
>WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out
>
>of the other.
>HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes
out
>of the mouth.
>
>MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,
Peter?
>PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
>GIRLFRIEND : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
>BOYFRIEND : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
>
>TEACHER : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
>PUPIL : "The moon".
>TEACHER : "Why?"
>PUPIL : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun
>gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
>
>TEACHER : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
>are no longer interested?"
>PUPIL : "A teacher".
>
>WAITER : "Would you like your coffee black?"
>CUSTOMER : "What other colors do you have?"
>
>My father's so old. When he was in school, history was called current
>affairs.
>
>TEACHER : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
>SAM : "It's a family tradition".
>TEACHER : "What do you mean?"
>SAM : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
>TEACHER : "What about your mother?"
>SAM : "She's a woman".
>
>TOM : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"
>DAVID: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's
>
>performance repeated".
>
>TEACHER : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
>him, what virtue would I be showing?"
>STUDENT : "Brotherly love".
>
>TEACHER : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?"
>SAM : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
>
>PATIENT : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
>DOCTOR : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of
ten
>people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've
>treated. The others all died".
>
>TEACHER : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
>STUDENT : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and
at
>the same time."
>
>TEACHER : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's
Cherry
>tree, but also admitted doing it. Now anybody knows why his father
>didn't punish him ?"
>STUDENT : " Because George still had the axe in is hand."