So.. I guess I have some questions.
Are there actually many japanese people who are actually interested in real online friendship?
I sometimes stumble across some japanese people on the internet, talk alittle with them and then they suddenly loose interest or something like that x_x;
And what about japanese girls, like.. when it comes to us white guys.. do japanese girls just wanna stare and stuff or are they actually interested in getting into a relationship if possible?
I really wanna get to know japanese boys and girls and have friends to take care of me next time Im coming to Japan.
and the last question is uhm.. Do you know any other good sites for getting in contact with japanese people?
Im already a member at myspace, japan-guide.org, mixi and some others.. but are there more good and effective sites?
Are there actually many japanese people who are actually interested in real online friendship?
I sometimes stumble across some japanese people on the internet, talk alittle with them and then they suddenly loose interest or something like that x_x;
And what about japanese girls, like.. when it comes to us white guys.. do japanese girls just wanna stare and stuff or are they actually interested in getting into a relationship if possible?
I really wanna get to know japanese boys and girls and have friends to take care of me next time Im coming to Japan.
and the last question is uhm.. Do you know any other good sites for getting in contact with japanese people?
Im already a member at myspace, japan-guide.org, mixi and some others.. but are there more good and effective sites?
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コメント(30)
Erm... ever think they may be losing interest in you for some reason other than the fact that they're Japanese?? In other words... have you thought it might just be you?
Maybe you're going about it all wrong. Just the question itself sounds kinda desperate. Maybe you're trying too hard. Nobody likes someone who comes on too strongly. Maybe you just need to relax.
Maybe you're going about it all wrong. Just the question itself sounds kinda desperate. Maybe you're trying too hard. Nobody likes someone who comes on too strongly. Maybe you just need to relax.
3. Jeff> Agreed on that. Trying to start a thread that poses the question of whether "Japanese" are actually interested in making online (and assumedly international) friends, and trying to make friends with Japanese people at the same time will produce some obvious conflicts of logic.
Ya gotta stop assuming people are just going to get into any serious conversations with you if you haven't thought some things through. I don't recommend trying to group an entire nation (of a culture you wish to be friendly with), into a single personality. I.E. Suggesting most Japanese people might actually not want online friends.
Ya gotta stop assuming people are just going to get into any serious conversations with you if you haven't thought some things through. I don't recommend trying to group an entire nation (of a culture you wish to be friendly with), into a single personality. I.E. Suggesting most Japanese people might actually not want online friends.
Friendship with anybody in the world is a bit of give and take. At least what you are writing right now sounds mostly like take. Saying you want some Japanese friends to "take care of you" when you are over in Japan is asking a bit much - what do they get out of it? :)
Recognize them, and they'll recognize you.
Recognize them, and they'll recognize you.
I agree with 6:sevenphotos that it sounds like you just want "take, take, take" friendship.
When you say you were looking for Japanese friends "who will take care of me next time I go to Japan", who wants to be just your "care taker"? What can you offer in return? As for Japanese women, some of them are interested in dating just a white male who speaks English, but most of them are not like that. Please don't generalize us. We are no different from any other women in the world.
I also think online friendship takes longer than face-to-tace, actual friendship because it's hard to see the real personality. If you're willing to take time to get to know someone, the person will respond to your effort.
When you say you were looking for Japanese friends "who will take care of me next time I go to Japan", who wants to be just your "care taker"? What can you offer in return? As for Japanese women, some of them are interested in dating just a white male who speaks English, but most of them are not like that. Please don't generalize us. We are no different from any other women in the world.
I also think online friendship takes longer than face-to-tace, actual friendship because it's hard to see the real personality. If you're willing to take time to get to know someone, the person will respond to your effort.
I agree with the comments that だいはど and Guchi posted... what's up with this topic taking out the broad brush and implying that ALL Japanese people are incapable of forming "real friendships" online?
The person who created this topic needs re-examine their thinking and themslves... maybe there's a reason why people aren't interested in being your friend, and it has everything to do with who YOU are, and nothing to do with your stereotypes and shallow impressions of Japanese people.
Pshhht.
The person who created this topic needs re-examine their thinking and themslves... maybe there's a reason why people aren't interested in being your friend, and it has everything to do with who YOU are, and nothing to do with your stereotypes and shallow impressions of Japanese people.
Pshhht.
Sorry, I think I need to make some changes to what I said, seeing as what I wrote upset some people..
When I wrote "to take care of me" I didnt mean it for them to be like care-takers that wouldnt get anything in return, I ment it as friends who can I hang out with and have fun with, and that can help me because I dont think I would be able to handle all the situations I would encounter because my japanese is still not good enough for me to be able to speak very much for myself... you understand?
And I never did put all the japanese people under the same personality, I am just asking generally if there are actually many in japan who seriously wants to get to know people from around the world, and/or if there are many who are just trying to get to know them so that they can exploit them or brag about for example.. the fact that they have dated a white guy or something..
Im not trying to provoke anybody <_<
And when it comes to respecting, like -Ryo- said, I totally understand it, and I respect the people I get to know online very much... Im not here to "take" friendship, im here to SHARE friendship :)
I hope this shed some light on everything
When I wrote "to take care of me" I didnt mean it for them to be like care-takers that wouldnt get anything in return, I ment it as friends who can I hang out with and have fun with, and that can help me because I dont think I would be able to handle all the situations I would encounter because my japanese is still not good enough for me to be able to speak very much for myself... you understand?
And I never did put all the japanese people under the same personality, I am just asking generally if there are actually many in japan who seriously wants to get to know people from around the world, and/or if there are many who are just trying to get to know them so that they can exploit them or brag about for example.. the fact that they have dated a white guy or something..
Im not trying to provoke anybody <_<
And when it comes to respecting, like -Ryo- said, I totally understand it, and I respect the people I get to know online very much... Im not here to "take" friendship, im here to SHARE friendship :)
I hope this shed some light on everything
Well, having some Japanese friends to help you out with problems here may make it easier, definitely, but it will also create a dependence on having them around as well.
Don't worry about it too much, it's a pretty easy place to get around in. An don't worry about some Japanese just liking you because you are white, or wanting to brag about you and such. There is a *lot* of white/black/other people in Tokyo and other major cities of Japan, it's much more likely that the opposite will happen, that they will plain ignore you. Currently the problem may be that you are not that special to them now, and you are not in Japan - they simply may be waiting till you are actually around to gain interest in you.
Don't worry about it too much, it's a pretty easy place to get around in. An don't worry about some Japanese just liking you because you are white, or wanting to brag about you and such. There is a *lot* of white/black/other people in Tokyo and other major cities of Japan, it's much more likely that the opposite will happen, that they will plain ignore you. Currently the problem may be that you are not that special to them now, and you are not in Japan - they simply may be waiting till you are actually around to gain interest in you.
だいはど> Yea, well.. Im trying alittle bit, but because most of the communities are written in Japanese, Im having slight problems with joining in on the discussions and such.. thats why I looked up this english written community ^^;
sevenphotos>Maybe that dependence wont be much of a big deal if I know the japanese people really well, y'know?
I also wanna have someone to hang out with at night, at clubs and karaoke bars and such, haha. ^^;
sevenphotos>Maybe that dependence wont be much of a big deal if I know the japanese people really well, y'know?
I also wanna have someone to hang out with at night, at clubs and karaoke bars and such, haha. ^^;
1.) I'm laughing my ass off at this thread... so many English leeches that live in Japan feel the same as sketch ...
2.) I'm still laughing at this :)
3.) Sketch bro, you get what you pay for. So to speak. Learning Japanese is the fastest way to make non-psychotic Japanese friends...
Because as we all know, a suprisingly large percentage of inexplicably great speakers of English have serious mental issues.
2.) I'm still laughing at this :)
3.) Sketch bro, you get what you pay for. So to speak. Learning Japanese is the fastest way to make non-psychotic Japanese friends...
Because as we all know, a suprisingly large percentage of inexplicably great speakers of English have serious mental issues.
dont get me wrong but on myspace, I noted "I am not a volunteer, please dont ask me to show you around Tokyo" on frontpage. because so many non-Japanese people was sending me a message such as "I will come to Japan. I wanna be your friend. please show me around Tokyo". Maybe some Japanese appreciate it but I cannot get it. I love to show my existing friend around this city but dont have time to act a tour guide for strangers. As some people got upset, Id upset if I am asked to "hang out" with you for your language barrier issue. even it is just a part of the reason, however you are looking for true friendship, we notice the intention.
People are generally nice to you, I guess. so dont worry, enjoy exploring Tokyo.
People are generally nice to you, I guess. so dont worry, enjoy exploring Tokyo.
haha, nice sarcasms there.. :p
but seriously, Im not trying to disrespect anyone here, its just general hypothetical questions, asking for maybe other peoples experiences and such.
No need to start flaming just because I might have written something alittle bit wrong or shit like that ^^;
And its not like theres a HUGE language barrier, because I have been studying japanese for quite some while, and I can understand quite a bit x_x;;
(I hope everyone is reading all my comments so that I wont get flamed over and over again XD)
And as Ive said before, Im not looking for people who can guide me around, Im looking for friends who I can speak with alot online, and if we become good friends, we might hang out and have fun together if I ever get back to Tokyo..
got that now? <_<;
but seriously, Im not trying to disrespect anyone here, its just general hypothetical questions, asking for maybe other peoples experiences and such.
No need to start flaming just because I might have written something alittle bit wrong or shit like that ^^;
And its not like theres a HUGE language barrier, because I have been studying japanese for quite some while, and I can understand quite a bit x_x;;
(I hope everyone is reading all my comments so that I wont get flamed over and over again XD)
And as Ive said before, Im not looking for people who can guide me around, Im looking for friends who I can speak with alot online, and if we become good friends, we might hang out and have fun together if I ever get back to Tokyo..
got that now? <_<;
Hi,
I used to live in Japan, and after that Korea, and now I live in Shanghai.
I have many korean and japanese friends but I could not make real friend with chinese people, i dont know why :(
That is amazing cuz I can compare the different life style of the three north-east asian countries.
I think people who comes from an island consider foreigners as alien, British people don't consider themselves as european and i don't think Japanese people consider themselves as Asian.
In Japan, I lived with a japanese family and we became very close, I am still always welcome.
I think Japanese people are really shy first, but if you can become friends, it can last forever!
I used to live in Japan, and after that Korea, and now I live in Shanghai.
I have many korean and japanese friends but I could not make real friend with chinese people, i dont know why :(
That is amazing cuz I can compare the different life style of the three north-east asian countries.
I think people who comes from an island consider foreigners as alien, British people don't consider themselves as european and i don't think Japanese people consider themselves as Asian.
In Japan, I lived with a japanese family and we became very close, I am still always welcome.
I think Japanese people are really shy first, but if you can become friends, it can last forever!
Sketch:
You don't seem like a bad guy. But you're still going about this all wrong. I know you're not trying to be offensive or anything. But this thread has just gone on far longer than it even needed to, and if this is the way you're approaching relationships, then it's pretty obvious why it's not working out.
You say you're not grouping all Japanese together but you are. You can say whatever you want, but this thread exists for a reason, and you created it. If you weren't grouping all Japanese together, you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. The first time somebody pointed that out to you was your opportunity to say "oh, sorry, I guess I was doing that, and maybe that's part of the problem." Instead, you got defensive and said "that's not what I was doing" and persisted in asking the same questions. This is going to get you nowhere. It sounds like what you're really doing is asking for some sort of validation of your current approach; like you want confirmation that everybody else is the problem, not you.
Your main question in a larger sense is why you're not making Japanese friends. I think you've already pretty much got your answers. I don't go around on Norwegian sites asking whether Norwegians are really interested in making friends or whether Norwegian women are really interested in having real relationships with non-Norwegians. It's the same thing. You need to totally realign this way of thinking; Japanese is a nationality and a culture, but people are people and you need to think of them that way.
Approach every person as an individual. Better yet - let them approach you and take it from there. No offense, but you come off as the kind of guy who hits up random Japanese people online and starts talking about anime or manga or samurai and just assumes everybody likes those things because that's what you know of Japan. This is what I mean by not categorizing people; everybody is unique, everybody has their own interests and personality. (btw that does go both ways to some extent; I've had Japanese people try to talk to me about hip-hop or Mariah Carey or whatever because they just assume every American likes that stuff.)
And yeah, I'm saying this from experience, if you need some sort of eye-witness "evidence". I don't think I need to detail my entire life with Japanese people for you, though. But real relationships are just as possible with Japanese people as with anybody else. It's all just in your way of thinking and your approach.
You don't seem like a bad guy. But you're still going about this all wrong. I know you're not trying to be offensive or anything. But this thread has just gone on far longer than it even needed to, and if this is the way you're approaching relationships, then it's pretty obvious why it's not working out.
You say you're not grouping all Japanese together but you are. You can say whatever you want, but this thread exists for a reason, and you created it. If you weren't grouping all Japanese together, you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. The first time somebody pointed that out to you was your opportunity to say "oh, sorry, I guess I was doing that, and maybe that's part of the problem." Instead, you got defensive and said "that's not what I was doing" and persisted in asking the same questions. This is going to get you nowhere. It sounds like what you're really doing is asking for some sort of validation of your current approach; like you want confirmation that everybody else is the problem, not you.
Your main question in a larger sense is why you're not making Japanese friends. I think you've already pretty much got your answers. I don't go around on Norwegian sites asking whether Norwegians are really interested in making friends or whether Norwegian women are really interested in having real relationships with non-Norwegians. It's the same thing. You need to totally realign this way of thinking; Japanese is a nationality and a culture, but people are people and you need to think of them that way.
Approach every person as an individual. Better yet - let them approach you and take it from there. No offense, but you come off as the kind of guy who hits up random Japanese people online and starts talking about anime or manga or samurai and just assumes everybody likes those things because that's what you know of Japan. This is what I mean by not categorizing people; everybody is unique, everybody has their own interests and personality. (btw that does go both ways to some extent; I've had Japanese people try to talk to me about hip-hop or Mariah Carey or whatever because they just assume every American likes that stuff.)
And yeah, I'm saying this from experience, if you need some sort of eye-witness "evidence". I don't think I need to detail my entire life with Japanese people for you, though. But real relationships are just as possible with Japanese people as with anybody else. It's all just in your way of thinking and your approach.
haha, ok.. I guess Ive gotta ask one last question then, is it possible to get this deletede, because its clearly giving people the wrong impression of me XD
none offence taken, coz Im not that kind of guy, I was like that a few years ago, but I learned that talking about your own interests doesnt always work out, so I usually talk about whatever the person im talking with is interested in or wants to talk about.
All I can say is sorry, I never ment to put everyone in one category, I knew that I shouldnt have gone defensive, but I really didnt want to give people the wrong impression but ended up doing it all wrong, haha.. well, its only human to fail once in a while XD
none offence taken, coz Im not that kind of guy, I was like that a few years ago, but I learned that talking about your own interests doesnt always work out, so I usually talk about whatever the person im talking with is interested in or wants to talk about.
All I can say is sorry, I never ment to put everyone in one category, I knew that I shouldnt have gone defensive, but I really didnt want to give people the wrong impression but ended up doing it all wrong, haha.. well, its only human to fail once in a while XD
Hey don't worry about it, I know some people might have understood your good intentions. I'll add that ya some people as stated earlier agreed that you were going at this in the wrong direction. It is not a bad idea at all. Well I would say somethin but everyone has taken the words out of my head before I could type them. Well best of luck
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