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コメント(11)
If a woman is married, she's off limits in my opinion. That ring is like a neon sign that says "no chance of a relationship". I know one woman who left her husband, but she continued wearing the ring....I don't know why she kept the ring, the guy was a tool, but to me that ring still said "unavailable", even though I knew she was single.
Wow, I don't think anybody can put it quite as elogantly as yuki did there...That dancing penguin says it all!
Well if you notice the ring on the finger before you start chatting, for you it would be wise to stay away and avoid possible trouble. For the other people who aren't looking for a relationship, simple chatting doesn't automatically equal hitting on them just because they are wearing a ring.
Well if you notice the ring on the finger before you start chatting, for you it would be wise to stay away and avoid possible trouble. For the other people who aren't looking for a relationship, simple chatting doesn't automatically equal hitting on them just because they are wearing a ring.
The thing that brings this up: I was listening to a sociology podcast, and a guy was discussing a study he'd done. Basically he was curious whether people of one sex will be more/less likely to chat up a member of the opposite sex if the latter is wearing a ring on his/her ring finger; he also included the conversation objective (i.e. flirting, chitchatting, etc.).
And what he found was a bit surprising to me: Men actually seem to be less likely to hit on a woman who's wearing a ring, while women seem much more likely to hit on a guy who's wearing a ring.
For me, personally: seeing someone wearing a ring is like seeing a giant "STOP" sign floating above that person. But I can see how some people would pursue that person because there's that perception of "no strings attached."
And what he found was a bit surprising to me: Men actually seem to be less likely to hit on a woman who's wearing a ring, while women seem much more likely to hit on a guy who's wearing a ring.
For me, personally: seeing someone wearing a ring is like seeing a giant "STOP" sign floating above that person. But I can see how some people would pursue that person because there's that perception of "no strings attached."
I'm pretty bad with it to be honest, I don't even notice it most of the time!
I have slept with a couple married ladies in the past, but it's not like I actively pursue them because they're married. The way I see it is as follows - I am single, she is married, if she wants to continue with wherever the road is going, then she should be aware of the consequences, I significantly stress this before the boundary between flirting and physical relations is crossed (unless I'm not aware of her martial status, which has happened). If she then decides she wouldn't like to, then I'm all good just being 'friends', and respect her choice.
I would never sleep with a drunk married lady, unless we were already in sexual relations. But that's kind of a rule of thumb for me, I wouldn't sleep with anyone drunk, unless I was in an equal or worse state of drunkenness.
I have slept with a couple married ladies in the past, but it's not like I actively pursue them because they're married. The way I see it is as follows - I am single, she is married, if she wants to continue with wherever the road is going, then she should be aware of the consequences, I significantly stress this before the boundary between flirting and physical relations is crossed (unless I'm not aware of her martial status, which has happened). If she then decides she wouldn't like to, then I'm all good just being 'friends', and respect her choice.
I would never sleep with a drunk married lady, unless we were already in sexual relations. But that's kind of a rule of thumb for me, I wouldn't sleep with anyone drunk, unless I was in an equal or worse state of drunkenness.
7: Trent
>> I have slept with a couple married ladies in the past, but it's not
>> like I actively pursue them because they're married.
I could never do that....sex is 90% in the mind and I think I would feel
so guilty that I couldn't function.
A very long time ago, on new years eve, I kissed a mates girlfriend...it
started out friendly but it became a lot more than that. Just kissing
but very intense....I think I must have really liked her even though I never
admitted it to myself. Anyway, just that kiss destroyed me for weeks.
I couldn't even talk to her for 3 months. I don't know how you can deal
with that stuff. Were they just women you met at a bar and had a fling
with or were they people you already knew?
>> I have slept with a couple married ladies in the past, but it's not
>> like I actively pursue them because they're married.
I could never do that....sex is 90% in the mind and I think I would feel
so guilty that I couldn't function.
A very long time ago, on new years eve, I kissed a mates girlfriend...it
started out friendly but it became a lot more than that. Just kissing
but very intense....I think I must have really liked her even though I never
admitted it to myself. Anyway, just that kiss destroyed me for weeks.
I couldn't even talk to her for 3 months. I don't know how you can deal
with that stuff. Were they just women you met at a bar and had a fling
with or were they people you already knew?
Usually friends of friends, or something along those lines. Honestly, I have hardly ever 'picked up' at bars or clubs, especially when I go to Japan. In Japan, I'll always end up talking to a group of 'salary men' with their broken English and my poor Japanese, I find that more interesting than chatting to some girl in a foreigner bar.
But back to your question.
I am content with having sex solely for pleasure. With the majority of women I've slept with, they were beforehand friends with me, and the act of sex didn't really hamper it.
Out of all of the women I've been with as of yet, there is only one that I saw a future with, one that I would say that I 'loved'. When making love with her, it was honestly different to everyone else I was with. I wouldn't say it was physically more fulfilling, but I believe that since I had such feelings for her, that it played a special role in our intimacies.
For the rest, and not all of them were 'sex friends', I just didn't have that feeling. I still love the girl in question, we broke up some time ago, but my love for her has metamorphosed to that of the love one may hold for certain family members, or that of those they grew up with. I don't think I could ever do anything sexualwith that girl, even though many opportunities have presented themselves, as we often sleep together with neither of us making any moves. There are plenty of other attractive friends that I couldn't sleep with due to our type of friendship.
So at the end of the day, it comes down to my relationship with the person. If I were to 'pick her up' at a bar or whatnot, then it's significantly more likely I won't have any negative repercussions on my conscience (not from participating in her act of adultery, but from the sacrifice of possible friendship or whatever else sex brings)
I am only given one life, and I am going to live it the best way I see fit. You may see it as selfish, based on your moral values/upbringings/compliance with social standards, but I see nothing wrong with my actions as long as it is consensual and safe between the two in questions.
But back to your question.
I am content with having sex solely for pleasure. With the majority of women I've slept with, they were beforehand friends with me, and the act of sex didn't really hamper it.
Out of all of the women I've been with as of yet, there is only one that I saw a future with, one that I would say that I 'loved'. When making love with her, it was honestly different to everyone else I was with. I wouldn't say it was physically more fulfilling, but I believe that since I had such feelings for her, that it played a special role in our intimacies.
For the rest, and not all of them were 'sex friends', I just didn't have that feeling. I still love the girl in question, we broke up some time ago, but my love for her has metamorphosed to that of the love one may hold for certain family members, or that of those they grew up with. I don't think I could ever do anything sexualwith that girl, even though many opportunities have presented themselves, as we often sleep together with neither of us making any moves. There are plenty of other attractive friends that I couldn't sleep with due to our type of friendship.
So at the end of the day, it comes down to my relationship with the person. If I were to 'pick her up' at a bar or whatnot, then it's significantly more likely I won't have any negative repercussions on my conscience (not from participating in her act of adultery, but from the sacrifice of possible friendship or whatever else sex brings)
I am only given one life, and I am going to live it the best way I see fit. You may see it as selfish, based on your moral values/upbringings/compliance with social standards, but I see nothing wrong with my actions as long as it is consensual and safe between the two in questions.
>> When making love with her, it was honestly different to everyone
>> else I was with. I wouldn't say it was physically more fulfilling, but
>> I believe that since I had such feelings for her, that it played a special
>> role in our intimacies.
I wish I had that....I mean a girl like that. I hope this doesn't sound really
stupid, but there are times I want to be with someone....maybe hug and
kiss, but I don't really want to have sex...although, if I had a woman like
that I think I'd want to marry her.
I think you are really lucky to have a person like that.
>> else I was with. I wouldn't say it was physically more fulfilling, but
>> I believe that since I had such feelings for her, that it played a special
>> role in our intimacies.
I wish I had that....I mean a girl like that. I hope this doesn't sound really
stupid, but there are times I want to be with someone....maybe hug and
kiss, but I don't really want to have sex...although, if I had a woman like
that I think I'd want to marry her.
I think you are really lucky to have a person like that.
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