NEW YORK - A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle'"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle'"
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president.
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コメント(18)
arabians always had an extremely developed mathematical knowledge, and many of our current mathematical basics came from arabian cultures.
The funniest thing about this post is that it's realistic that bush would want to get rid of all things arabic, even if that meant dumbing down its people lol :p
The funniest thing about this post is that it's realistic that bush would want to get rid of all things arabic, even if that meant dumbing down its people lol :p
DAMN TEACHERS.
That's right all teachers are part of the liberal left and a threat to "democracy". Curse those stupid people for trying to get rich off taxpayer money making 28k a year and spending all their time with children! Real Americans make lots of money through exploiting others (especially lazy colored people) and watch lots of "Walker, Texas Ranger" re-runs to support the "War on Terror"! YEAH!
(/sarcasm)
Funny post, Blight.
That's right all teachers are part of the liberal left and a threat to "democracy". Curse those stupid people for trying to get rich off taxpayer money making 28k a year and spending all their time with children! Real Americans make lots of money through exploiting others (especially lazy colored people) and watch lots of "Walker, Texas Ranger" re-runs to support the "War on Terror"! YEAH!
(/sarcasm)
Funny post, Blight.
Chiung's erudite comment has left me elucidated.
As a former member of "Al-gebra", I would like to point
out that Al-gebra does not claim responsibility for the
teacher's actions, but condones all acts of calculation
inside, outside, or intersecting the teachings of
Diophantus. Of course, to be pure, we recommend only
the use of an unlined straight edge, pencil, and
compass. Ah, the young acorn grew up and announced,
"Gee, I'm a Tree!"
Well, at least the teacher did not try to square the
circle...
As a former member of "Al-gebra", I would like to point
out that Al-gebra does not claim responsibility for the
teacher's actions, but condones all acts of calculation
inside, outside, or intersecting the teachings of
Diophantus. Of course, to be pure, we recommend only
the use of an unlined straight edge, pencil, and
compass. Ah, the young acorn grew up and announced,
"Gee, I'm a Tree!"
Well, at least the teacher did not try to square the
circle...
(Note: This isn't entirely related, so apologies in advance)
There was a kid I knew in my school days who was something of a pyromaniac, we'll call him Mike in this story, because that was his name. One fine day, together with his father (yes, his father. The mind boggles...), Mike decided to make a fertilizer bomb.
To cut a long story short, they put the bomb in a neigbours wheelie bin which had been placed outside the house, ready for emptying later that day. The bomb goes off, windows of surrounding houses are shattered into a million pieces, the bomb squad is called, cats and dogs become best mates etc...
The culprits are later arrested and given community service, but from that day forth Mike became known as...
There was a kid I knew in my school days who was something of a pyromaniac, we'll call him Mike in this story, because that was his name. One fine day, together with his father (yes, his father. The mind boggles...), Mike decided to make a fertilizer bomb.
To cut a long story short, they put the bomb in a neigbours wheelie bin which had been placed outside the house, ready for emptying later that day. The bomb goes off, windows of surrounding houses are shattered into a million pieces, the bomb squad is called, cats and dogs become best mates etc...
The culprits are later arrested and given community service, but from that day forth Mike became known as...
- mixiユーザー
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