My girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year
>> > > when we decided to
>> > > get married. My parents helped us in every way, and
>> > > my friends encouraged
>> > > me.
>> > >
>> > > My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one
>> > > thing bothering me.
>> > > That one thing was her younger sister. My
>> > > prospective sister-in-law was
>> > > twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low
>> > > cut blouses. She would
>> > > regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant
view
>> > > of her underwear.
>> > >
>> > > It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she
>> > > was near anyone else.
>> > > One day little sister calls and asked me to come
>> > > over to check the wedding
>> > > invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
>> > >
>> > > She whispered to me that soon I was to be married,
>> > > and she had
>> >feelings
>> > > and desires for me that she could not overcome ...
>> > > and did not really want
>> > > to overcome.
>> > >
>> > > She told me that she wanted to make love to me just
>> > > once before I got
>> > > married and committed my life to her sister.
>> > >
>> > > I was in total shock and could not say a word.
>> > >
>> > > She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if
>> > > you want to go ahead
>> > > with it just come up and get me."
>> > >
>> > > I was stunned.
>> > >
>> > > I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
>> > > stairs. When she
>> > > reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
>> > > threw them down the
>> > > stairs at
>> > > me.
>> > >
>> > > I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight
to the
>> > > front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house
>> > > and
>> > >
>> >walked straight toward my car.
>> > >
>> > > My future father-in-law was standing outside. With
>> > > tears in his eyes, he
>> > > hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you
have passed our
>> > > little test. We could not ask for a better man for our
>> > > daughter. Welcome to the
>> > > family!"
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The moral of this story is.....
>> > > Always keep your condoms in your car
over a year
>> > > when we decided to
>> > > get married. My parents helped us in every way, and
>> > > my friends encouraged
>> > > me.
>> > >
>> > > My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one
>> > > thing bothering me.
>> > > That one thing was her younger sister. My
>> > > prospective sister-in-law was
>> > > twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low
>> > > cut blouses. She would
>> > > regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant
view
>> > > of her underwear.
>> > >
>> > > It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she
>> > > was near anyone else.
>> > > One day little sister calls and asked me to come
>> > > over to check the wedding
>> > > invitations. She was alone when I arrived.
>> > >
>> > > She whispered to me that soon I was to be married,
>> > > and she had
>> >feelings
>> > > and desires for me that she could not overcome ...
>> > > and did not really want
>> > > to overcome.
>> > >
>> > > She told me that she wanted to make love to me just
>> > > once before I got
>> > > married and committed my life to her sister.
>> > >
>> > > I was in total shock and could not say a word.
>> > >
>> > > She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and
if
>> > > you want to go ahead
>> > > with it just come up and get me."
>> > >
>> > > I was stunned.
>> > >
>> > > I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
>> > > stairs. When she
>> > > reached the top, she pulled down her panties and
>> > > threw them down the
>> > > stairs at
>> > > me.
>> > >
>> > > I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight
to the
>> > > front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the
house
>> > > and
>> > >
>> >walked straight toward my car.
>> > >
>> > > My future father-in-law was standing outside. With
>> > > tears in his eyes, he
>> > > hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you
have passed our
>> > > little test. We could not ask for a better man for our
>> > > daughter. Welcome to the
>> > > family!"
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >
>> > > The moral of this story is.....
>> > > Always keep your condoms in your car
|
|
|
|
コメント(33)
こんなのは如何でしょうか？
女性諸君！怒らないで下さい （汗）
Female Hormones
The other day, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within an 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
｡｡4) Couldn't drive.
｡｡5) Failed to think rationally.
｡｡6) Argued over nothing.
｡｡7) Had to sit down while urinating.
｡｡8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
女性諸君！怒らないで下さい （汗）
Female Hormones
The other day, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within an 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Gained weight.
2) Talked excessively without making sense.
3) Became overly emotional.
｡｡4) Couldn't drive.
｡｡5) Failed to think rationally.
｡｡6) Argued over nothing.
｡｡7) Had to sit down while urinating.
｡｡8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
No further testing was considered necessary.
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...
Immediately he turned ninety!!!Gotta love that fairy!
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh!
Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...
Immediately he turned ninety!!!Gotta love that fairy!
ロブさんのは、E-mailで出回ってて男の人には評判です（笑）
ビールのジョークが出たところで、これをどうぞ。
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- Cinnamon
- Indubitably
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Proliferation
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- British Constitution
- Loquacious Transubstantiate
- Passive-aggressive disorder
- Specificity
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
- Nope, no more booze for me
- Sorry, but you're not really my type
- Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
- Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
- You're right; I can't jump over that table.
ビールのジョークが出たところで、これをどうぞ。
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- Cinnamon
- Indubitably
- Innovative
- Preliminary
- Proliferation
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- British Constitution
- Loquacious Transubstantiate
- Passive-aggressive disorder
- Specificity
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK
- Thanks, but I don't want to have sex
- Nope, no more booze for me
- Sorry, but you're not really my type
- Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
- Oh, I just couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing.
- You're right; I can't jump over that table.
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
that was funny!!! lmao!!!! ive got a good one. let me know what you guys thought....
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was, "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
Because, in Africa, they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In India, they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Europe, they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China, they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In South America, they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And, in the USA, they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant...
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was, "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure.
Because, in Africa, they didn't know what 'food' meant.
In India, they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
In Europe, they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
In China, they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
In the Middle East, they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
In South America, they didn't know what 'please' meant.
And, in the USA, they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant...
- mixiユーザー
- ログインしてコメントしよう！
|
|
|
|
英語口語コーナー 更新情報
-
最新のアンケート
