The man who wrote this diary is an ardent SGI member, and a severely mentally ill one at that.
For that reason, the content of this diary is incoherent.
Some people may find it unpleasant to read.
Please do not read it if you are susceptible to negative influences.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Diary of an ardent SGI member in Japan (40s, male)
June 20, 2012 13:42
I will be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
I may be more unhappy in the future.
I may sell my house and go bankrupt.
July 20, 2012 00:31
My mother was cheated by an acquaintance and incurred a large debt, which I must refund.
It may not be refundable in this life.
I tried to kill myself many times, but I couldn't die.
I will win in my next life.
I lost in this life.
July 24, 2012 01:55
I prayed constantly, but reality is a series of difficulties.
My ideal self is too far away.
But I think faith is to believe in self and move forward.
July 29, 2012 00:58
I will not betray IKEDA-SENSEI!
Even if I go to hell and misfortune follows!
September 07, 2012 3:40
I live every day with a flood of worries and anxieties.
I have done nothing wrong, why do I have to take such a large amount of medication everyday?
I just have to give up my pride, my dreams, and just work every day.
September 16, 2012 23:36
I have a debt of JPY 3 million, I am in the doldrums of unhappiness with no future in sight.
DAIMOKU chanted 43 million.
September 16, 2012 23:59
I've come to a realization!
I'm in hell right now, but it won't last forever.
Maybe I'll be a star singer in the next life, maybe I'll be a Prime Minister.
October 23, 2012 01:50
I am at an impasse again.
Tranquilizers are fundamentally ineffective in these situations.
October 30, 2012 20:41
The devil is finally coming to crush me!
I believe in IKEDA-SENSEI no matter what difficulties come my way.
I will not be able to help it if it is my karma, no matter how terrible it may be.
November 01, 2012 22:41
I have attempted suicide many times.
I have been hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital and now, honestly, I am going crazy.
When I see a train, I think about how painful it would be to hit that thing.
I am honestly unhappy right now.
January 23, 2013 20:25
Debt, family discord, depression, infirmity, everything is going wrong.
I had a fight with the SGI group leader, I had a fight with the district director, I had a fight with the general manager.
January 24, 2013 06:16
I haven't slept properly for 3 days and 3 nights.
I've been working without sleep to donate to SGI.
My donation is soaked with abuse, fights and tears.
When I donate, it becomes a rainbow.
IKEDA-SENSEI will be pleased.
April 18, 2013 13:51
The way out of misery is to pray with resentment, hatred, and anger, "I will eradicate Nichiren Shoshu."
I will write about my merit experience of praying in such a way.
I went to McDonald's to eat a hamburger and got a different hamburger than I ordered. The waiter said, "There was a mistake. I'm sorry. I will give you the other hamburger for free."
I went to a gas station and ordered only JPY 1,000, but the gas station made a mistake and filled up the tank. The clerk came to me and said, "I'm sorry. I filled up the tank by mistake. You only have to pay for the JPY 1,000.”
I was thinking of committing suicide by hanging myself.
However, I was surprised when I saw the amount of insurance money that would be credited to my account when I had an accident before.
It comes in at JPY 800,000.
Money was always running away from me, but recently money is coming to me.
Then, I pick up the money frequently.
It is a Great Merit!
May 21, 2013 01:09
An explosion at a fireworks factory in Kagoshima killing a many people.
This was reported as big news.
The president of this factory is a big executive of SGI.
The next day, the president considered suicide.
However, SGI Vice Chairman K immediately went from Fukuoka to Kagoshima to encourage him.
And the president was inspired.
June 03, 2013 01:48
I was born to suffer day in and day out.
Maybe I really want to be happy.
What is destiny?
July 01, 2013 23:52
I want to die! I want to die! I can't work hard anymore. I'm getting old.
Love, family, work, school, everything, nothing worked.
What happens to unhappy people?
I'll see for myself.
Those who want to kill me can do so.
July 07, 2013 00:10
Is there anyone out there similar to me?
・I'm physically tired
・People around me are mean to me
・I am being harassed by my parents
・I have no motivation to do anything
・I have nightmares and suffer from them
July 23, 2013 00:00
I will be with IKEDA-SENSEI for the rest of my life.
Please throw my bones into the Ganges River.
I pledge to continue to fight against Nichiren Shoshu for the rest of my life.
September 18, 2013 10:09
I miss IKEDA-SENSEI.
IKEDA-SENSEI will live on until the day there are no more borders.
Until our smiles return, we will continue to fight, no matter how many times we are reborn.
Heaven will judge the wicked.
No matter how many times I am reborn, I will always win with IKEDA-SENSEI.
Oct 31, 2013 23:53
I am running out of sleep aids and I am panicking.
I thought it was a cold, left it for 2 months then went to the hospital and found that my lungs were festering.
I want to set fire to KAWASAKI's house and kill him.
I am a victor.
I give myself a phone case and an electric shaver.
November 11, 2013 17:55
The more I believe, the worse I go.
Why is that?
November 18, 2013 03:17
My uncle absconded with JPY 130,000.
This year, I was driving on the motorway when a gust of wind blew my car off the road and my car hit the median.
However, I receive an insurance payout of JPY 1.6 million.
I will donate the money to SGI.
I am happy to think that I am working for the SGI.
December 14, 2013 03:09
My uncle cheated me, debt JPY 230,000.
JPY 18,000 stolen by gangsters.
Pension arrears JPY 70,000.
I would also like to sell my car and make a large donation to SGI.
10 Jan 2014 23:51
I have found a job.
It's traffic security at a construction site.
It's a part-time job, but thankfully in these times.
It's nice to lose something of mine and gain something of mine.
Humans are creatures of failure.
I believe this is the best I can do.
13 Mar 2014 20:25
SGI district director bullies me insidiously, so I don't want to go to tomorrow's meeting.
The district itself is mean, dark and insidious, so I don't want to go, even more so.
I don't want to go to tomorrow's meeting.
Can I not go?
For that reason, the content of this diary is incoherent.
Some people may find it unpleasant to read.
Please do not read it if you are susceptible to negative influences.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Diary of an ardent SGI member in Japan (40s, male)
June 20, 2012 13:42
I will be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
I may be more unhappy in the future.
I may sell my house and go bankrupt.
July 20, 2012 00:31
My mother was cheated by an acquaintance and incurred a large debt, which I must refund.
It may not be refundable in this life.
I tried to kill myself many times, but I couldn't die.
I will win in my next life.
I lost in this life.
July 24, 2012 01:55
I prayed constantly, but reality is a series of difficulties.
My ideal self is too far away.
But I think faith is to believe in self and move forward.
July 29, 2012 00:58
I will not betray IKEDA-SENSEI!
Even if I go to hell and misfortune follows!
September 07, 2012 3:40
I live every day with a flood of worries and anxieties.
I have done nothing wrong, why do I have to take such a large amount of medication everyday?
I just have to give up my pride, my dreams, and just work every day.
September 16, 2012 23:36
I have a debt of JPY 3 million, I am in the doldrums of unhappiness with no future in sight.
DAIMOKU chanted 43 million.
September 16, 2012 23:59
I've come to a realization!
I'm in hell right now, but it won't last forever.
Maybe I'll be a star singer in the next life, maybe I'll be a Prime Minister.
October 23, 2012 01:50
I am at an impasse again.
Tranquilizers are fundamentally ineffective in these situations.
October 30, 2012 20:41
The devil is finally coming to crush me!
I believe in IKEDA-SENSEI no matter what difficulties come my way.
I will not be able to help it if it is my karma, no matter how terrible it may be.
November 01, 2012 22:41
I have attempted suicide many times.
I have been hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital and now, honestly, I am going crazy.
When I see a train, I think about how painful it would be to hit that thing.
I am honestly unhappy right now.
January 23, 2013 20:25
Debt, family discord, depression, infirmity, everything is going wrong.
I had a fight with the SGI group leader, I had a fight with the district director, I had a fight with the general manager.
January 24, 2013 06:16
I haven't slept properly for 3 days and 3 nights.
I've been working without sleep to donate to SGI.
My donation is soaked with abuse, fights and tears.
When I donate, it becomes a rainbow.
IKEDA-SENSEI will be pleased.
April 18, 2013 13:51
The way out of misery is to pray with resentment, hatred, and anger, "I will eradicate Nichiren Shoshu."
I will write about my merit experience of praying in such a way.
I went to McDonald's to eat a hamburger and got a different hamburger than I ordered. The waiter said, "There was a mistake. I'm sorry. I will give you the other hamburger for free."
I went to a gas station and ordered only JPY 1,000, but the gas station made a mistake and filled up the tank. The clerk came to me and said, "I'm sorry. I filled up the tank by mistake. You only have to pay for the JPY 1,000.”
I was thinking of committing suicide by hanging myself.
However, I was surprised when I saw the amount of insurance money that would be credited to my account when I had an accident before.
It comes in at JPY 800,000.
Money was always running away from me, but recently money is coming to me.
Then, I pick up the money frequently.
It is a Great Merit!
May 21, 2013 01:09
An explosion at a fireworks factory in Kagoshima killing a many people.
This was reported as big news.
The president of this factory is a big executive of SGI.
The next day, the president considered suicide.
However, SGI Vice Chairman K immediately went from Fukuoka to Kagoshima to encourage him.
And the president was inspired.
June 03, 2013 01:48
I was born to suffer day in and day out.
Maybe I really want to be happy.
What is destiny?
July 01, 2013 23:52
I want to die! I want to die! I can't work hard anymore. I'm getting old.
Love, family, work, school, everything, nothing worked.
What happens to unhappy people?
I'll see for myself.
Those who want to kill me can do so.
July 07, 2013 00:10
Is there anyone out there similar to me?
・I'm physically tired
・People around me are mean to me
・I am being harassed by my parents
・I have no motivation to do anything
・I have nightmares and suffer from them
July 23, 2013 00:00
I will be with IKEDA-SENSEI for the rest of my life.
Please throw my bones into the Ganges River.
I pledge to continue to fight against Nichiren Shoshu for the rest of my life.
September 18, 2013 10:09
I miss IKEDA-SENSEI.
IKEDA-SENSEI will live on until the day there are no more borders.
Until our smiles return, we will continue to fight, no matter how many times we are reborn.
Heaven will judge the wicked.
No matter how many times I am reborn, I will always win with IKEDA-SENSEI.
Oct 31, 2013 23:53
I am running out of sleep aids and I am panicking.
I thought it was a cold, left it for 2 months then went to the hospital and found that my lungs were festering.
I want to set fire to KAWASAKI's house and kill him.
I am a victor.
I give myself a phone case and an electric shaver.
November 11, 2013 17:55
The more I believe, the worse I go.
Why is that?
November 18, 2013 03:17
My uncle absconded with JPY 130,000.
This year, I was driving on the motorway when a gust of wind blew my car off the road and my car hit the median.
However, I receive an insurance payout of JPY 1.6 million.
I will donate the money to SGI.
I am happy to think that I am working for the SGI.
December 14, 2013 03:09
My uncle cheated me, debt JPY 230,000.
JPY 18,000 stolen by gangsters.
Pension arrears JPY 70,000.
I would also like to sell my car and make a large donation to SGI.
10 Jan 2014 23:51
I have found a job.
It's traffic security at a construction site.
It's a part-time job, but thankfully in these times.
It's nice to lose something of mine and gain something of mine.
Humans are creatures of failure.
I believe this is the best I can do.
13 Mar 2014 20:25
SGI district director bullies me insidiously, so I don't want to go to tomorrow's meeting.
The district itself is mean, dark and insidious, so I don't want to go, even more so.
I don't want to go to tomorrow's meeting.
Can I not go?
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