How do these people survive?
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Obviously will graduate next year?)
（大意）マクドナルドでチキンナゲットを６個、９個、１２個と売っている。
半ダースくれと売り子に言ったら、半ダースでは売ってない。６個か９個、１２個の中から選んでくれと言われた。
TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.. I picked up one
of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
(She had no clue to what had just happened.)
（大意） ウォールマートの商品を載せるベルトコンベア式のレジで他の客の品物と混同しないように分ける棒切れのようなものが置かれている。それを取って自分の品物の後に置いたら、レジの女の子はその棒切れを取って、バーコードを探している。売り物だと思ったらしい。きょうはそれを買うのをよすわ・・と言って帰ってきた。
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM 'thingy.' (keep shuddering!!)
（大意）女性がPCがのフロッピーディスクの差込口にクレジットカードを差し込んでいた。ネットで商品を購入してクレジットナンバーを打ち込むように指示されていたのを勘違いしていたようである。
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk....' (PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!)
（大意）車のそばで若い女性が泣きべそをかいていた。どうしたのかと聞いたら車のキーのバッテリーが切れて車のドアが開かないと言う。彼女の鍵を受け取って鍵を車のドアに差し込みドアを開けてやった。
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
（大意）事務所に若いインターンの事務員がやってきた。タイプの用紙が切れたというのでコピーマシンから用紙を取って使ったらと助言したら、その事務員はコピーを５回押して機械を作動させて空コピーした用紙を取り出していた。
(Brunette, by the way!!) ところでブルネットの女性でしたよ！！
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother
says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
子どもがアリを食べたという母親から救急室へ搬送してくれと消防署へ電話があった。「消化薬でも飲ませておけば大丈夫ですよ」と答えると、母親は「たった今、アリの殺虫剤を飲ませたところです」と答えた。
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!
人生はタフです。さらにお馬鹿さんにとってはさらにタフなものです。
Now, can someone please tell me why we are firing teachers,
shortening school days, and closing libraries?
さあ、誰か答えてください。なぜ先生をリストラしているのか。学校の授業数を減らし、図書館を閉館にしているのか？
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Obviously will graduate next year?)
（大意）マクドナルドでチキンナゲットを６個、９個、１２個と売っている。
半ダースくれと売り子に言ったら、半ダースでは売ってない。６個か９個、１２個の中から選んでくれと言われた。
TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.. I picked up one
of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider',
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
(She had no clue to what had just happened.)
（大意） ウォールマートの商品を載せるベルトコンベア式のレジで他の客の品物と混同しないように分ける棒切れのようなものが置かれている。それを取って自分の品物の後に置いたら、レジの女の子はその棒切れを取って、バーコードを探している。売り物だと思ったらしい。きょうはそれを買うのをよすわ・・と言って帰ってきた。
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the
Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM 'thingy.' (keep shuddering!!)
（大意）女性がPCがのフロッピーディスクの差込口にクレジットカードを差し込んでいた。ネットで商品を購入してクレジットナンバーを打ち込むように指示されていたのを勘違いしていたようである。
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you
need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to
a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys
to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why
don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
walk....' (PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!)
（大意）車のそばで若い女性が泣きべそをかいていた。どうしたのかと聞いたら車のキーのバッテリーが切れて車のドアが開かないと言う。彼女の鍵を受け取って鍵を車のドアに差し込みドアを開けてやった。
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.
（大意）事務所に若いインターンの事務員がやってきた。タイプの用紙が切れたというのでコピーマシンから用紙を取って使ったらと助言したら、その事務員はコピーを５回押して機械を作動させて空コピーした用紙を取り出していた。
(Brunette, by the way!!) ところでブルネットの女性でしたよ！！
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take
her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher
tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother
says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.....Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
子どもがアリを食べたという母親から救急室へ搬送してくれと消防署へ電話があった。「消化薬でも飲ませておけば大丈夫ですよ」と答えると、母親は「たった今、アリの殺虫剤を飲ませたところです」と答えた。
Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!
人生はタフです。さらにお馬鹿さんにとってはさらにタフなものです。
Now, can someone please tell me why we are firing teachers,
shortening school days, and closing libraries?
さあ、誰か答えてください。なぜ先生をリストラしているのか。学校の授業数を減らし、図書館を閉館にしているのか？
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