30-something Mutant Ninja Turtles. Donatello is a military defense contractor, Leonardo is an investment banker, Michelangelo runs a microbrewery on the west coast, and Raphael is a high school phys ed teacher. Splinter has a Chinese takeout joint and Shredder is a congressman somewhere in the south.
Shredder sold the Foot Soldier army to Blackwater to fund his campaign. And what about Krang? I'm thinking after failing to ever get the Technodrome fixed he re-purposed it as a mobile drilling platform in the Gulf and bought a controlling interest in BP. BeeBop and Rocksteady find Jesus after rehab for meth addiction and guest host on "Intervention".