☆ENGLISH ONLY☆コミュのGifts and Japan

A friend in Japan sent me an email saying they are
sending me a Christmas gift. I suspect they are
sending it because they received a small gift from me.

In English, we would normally respond by saying "you
shouldn't have" or "you didn't have to". Is this an
appropriate response in Japanese? If so, how would I
say it (I am not sure how to translate this)?

Also, by sending a Christmas gift to them, did I create
an obligation that they send me something? How should
a Gaijin like me handle this? At Christmas time, I do
send gifts, as this is our custom, but I do not expect
them to send one back (and I especially do not want to
cause them to feel they have to send something back
just because I sent them a gift).

Thanks for any help.

ps - I posted this on for Japanese Learners, but it was
recommended that I also post this here.

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[1] mixiユーザー 12月31日 02:57

You are going to return this sentiment (as in "You shouldn't have") in Japanese, right? If that's the case, it's kind of hard to respond to you in English Only community ... you know? :P

I think the word we most often hear in such a scenario, along with "thank you" is actually "sorry" ... as in どうもすみません ... in addition to something like お手数をおかけして ... or something along that line.

Would that help?

And yes, I think Japanese people feel slightly obligated (more so than Americans) to return the gesture when they receive gifts ... at least, I feel that way when I do.

[2] mixiユーザー 12月31日 05:12

I always think of "sumimasen" as "excuse me" because it fits a little better in direct translations. You bump into a person on the street, you say "excuse me" (sumimasen) or if some guy helps you out with directions on the street you might say "doumo sumimasen" like (ah, excuse me (for being a bother)). (everybody like my excessive use of parenthesis?)

Another question though. What should I bring japanese people as omiyage from America?? I have a couple friends but i dont know what the hell a Japanese person would want from America. And i can't buy everybody a sweatshirt from my university, i'd be broke ;)

[3] mixiユーザー 12月31日 05:19

In the sense of direct translation, James, you're right.
I would also think of すみません as "excuse me" rather than "sorry." But I felt it not suiting in this particular situation.

The "American souvenir" is the eternal headache to everyone going from the US of A to Japan, I believe. We just don't know what to bring, because people in Japan have access to a lot of foreign goods. What I usually do is either bring them domestic beer (we have an oldest brewery in the US nearby, and their beer is not available outside of this state let alone outside of the country) for those who drink, chocolates for those who like sweets (though I warn them of the extreme richness and sweetness in that case), and American magazines, salsa & chips, etc ... seemed to have worked so far. :)

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