Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?
I have a favorite girl but she lives so far away from
my house.
I called her last week and told my feeling
“I love you, so please think about being couple!"
She had thought for 1 week and said to me “I don't
have a confidence to keep long-distance love."
I was so disappoined to listen her answer, but I love
her so much. Therefore, I want to beg her to rethink.
Now, I have hard feeling, so I always cry in my bed.
Do you have any good idea to overcome long-distance love?
I have a favorite girl but she lives so far away from
my house.
I called her last week and told my feeling
“I love you, so please think about being couple!"
She had thought for 1 week and said to me “I don't
have a confidence to keep long-distance love."
I was so disappoined to listen her answer, but I love
her so much. Therefore, I want to beg her to rethink.
Now, I have hard feeling, so I always cry in my bed.
Do you have any good idea to overcome long-distance love?
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コメント(48)
I often wonder can Man really do long distance...
I mean even though he loves me so much and I can feel that strong, I get worried sometimes if it will last long. Not all men cheat but men are more likely to cheat instinctively and so many distractions in daily life I think. hot & cute gilrs are everywhere.
Can guys really love just one girl without having sex with anyone else for more than 1 year? or is sex a different story? I would like to hear some honest opinions from guys.
I mean even though he loves me so much and I can feel that strong, I get worried sometimes if it will last long. Not all men cheat but men are more likely to cheat instinctively and so many distractions in daily life I think. hot & cute gilrs are everywhere.
Can guys really love just one girl without having sex with anyone else for more than 1 year? or is sex a different story? I would like to hear some honest opinions from guys.
I think a month is a little soon to know if you're in 'love' with someone instead of just being infatuated?
I'm not saying it's not love, but I think it's a little too soon to tell. Love is forever, ne?
I think give it a little more time, but still be persistant. She didn't say that she didn't think of you in that way. Just that it's hard.
Gambatte ne!
I'm not saying it's not love, but I think it's a little too soon to tell. Love is forever, ne?
I think give it a little more time, but still be persistant. She didn't say that she didn't think of you in that way. Just that it's hard.
Gambatte ne!
I'm not sure whether you're Japanese or what, but when you told her you "love" her, do you mean you told her "suki" 好き?? They really aren't the same thing at all. If a girl (who isn't Japanese) told me she "loves" me after meeting her just a couple of times I would think she is CRAZY. Though, I am a guy so I may go with it for a while, depending on whether or not she meets certain criteria. Girls tend to get creeped out if you move too quickly, are too aggressive or always calling or whatever. But I guess there may be varying expectations depending on what social standards the girl is used to (ie: Japanese vs American).
I suppose men are more sensitive to etiquette pertaining to use of the word "love", but it definitely takes time to be able to say or really feel. For me, it's not the crazy first couple of months worrying and wondering and constantly having these intense feelings toward someone. It comes after you've lived with someone for a couple of years; a dull, mellow feeling that doesn't leave you jealous or worried or suspicious. At this point, you will also feel comfortable farting in front of each other. Well, you may want to get that out of the way before you move in with each other. But yeah, that's pretty much the determining factor - can you fart in front of each other.
As for your situation, in order to maintain a long distance relationship...you must first HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Which is especially hard when the girl tells you she’s not interested. And the younger a couple is, the harder it is to maintain. Which can be said for relationships in general. So if you're a young guy, don't worry about and move on. It's not worth wasting your time on. By the time your my age (which isn't really that old, sadly enough) you'll begin to regret that you didn't fuck everything in your sight while you were still young and charming and before you met someone who made you not want to bother with anyone else.
I suppose men are more sensitive to etiquette pertaining to use of the word "love", but it definitely takes time to be able to say or really feel. For me, it's not the crazy first couple of months worrying and wondering and constantly having these intense feelings toward someone. It comes after you've lived with someone for a couple of years; a dull, mellow feeling that doesn't leave you jealous or worried or suspicious. At this point, you will also feel comfortable farting in front of each other. Well, you may want to get that out of the way before you move in with each other. But yeah, that's pretty much the determining factor - can you fart in front of each other.
As for your situation, in order to maintain a long distance relationship...you must first HAVE A RELATIONSHIP. Which is especially hard when the girl tells you she’s not interested. And the younger a couple is, the harder it is to maintain. Which can be said for relationships in general. So if you're a young guy, don't worry about and move on. It's not worth wasting your time on. By the time your my age (which isn't really that old, sadly enough) you'll begin to regret that you didn't fuck everything in your sight while you were still young and charming and before you met someone who made you not want to bother with anyone else.
Mayu>
I think the answer to your question is...it depends on the person. Some people can have a happy long distance relationship - although maybe the important thing is to work hard, to have trust, and to have a goal for the future.
Cheating is definitely not something that only men do. I have been cheated on before, but I can't imagine I could ever cheat on somebody. Sex means different things to different people I think...
I think the answer to your question is...it depends on the person. Some people can have a happy long distance relationship - although maybe the important thing is to work hard, to have trust, and to have a goal for the future.
Cheating is definitely not something that only men do. I have been cheated on before, but I can't imagine I could ever cheat on somebody. Sex means different things to different people I think...
I think relationship with a long distance should be based on feeling to be together in the future. It doesn't have to be marriage, but somehow being together.
To keep faith in her with a distance, you should be so tough in a mental sense. I think she is not really sure if she could do it... I mean she might want to say she doesn't know you enough to do so....
To keep faith in her with a distance, you should be so tough in a mental sense. I think she is not really sure if she could do it... I mean she might want to say she doesn't know you enough to do so....
If she says that a long distance relationship wont work so she wont date you there are two possibilities why:
1. she doesn't think you or herself could be faithful in the relationship
2. she just wanted to let you down easily.
Yes I am sure you do not want to hear the second reason, but sometimes thats just how it is. Now if she does like you though, maybe you can get to know here more. You obviously keep meeting her. So what you should do is, try to pretend you agree with her about the long distance realationship, and try to calmly show here you're not hurt by it. Then what you will be able to do is get close to her again, b/c she may feel as though you may be attracted to her and it will ruin the relationship if so. Just try to become her friend and not act interested. Then maybe you could find some how or someplace close to her and move in near by. Then you can try the whole love thing again. Because if it is the first reason then, maybe you just have to be closer to her and not so far away. Right?
And yes it is true both men and women cheet.
Though when you get the special person in your life, you will be able to just stay with them and not anyone else. I think the cheeting is the result of people trying to find there special one, and they just make some wrong decisions.
1. she doesn't think you or herself could be faithful in the relationship
2. she just wanted to let you down easily.
Yes I am sure you do not want to hear the second reason, but sometimes thats just how it is. Now if she does like you though, maybe you can get to know here more. You obviously keep meeting her. So what you should do is, try to pretend you agree with her about the long distance realationship, and try to calmly show here you're not hurt by it. Then what you will be able to do is get close to her again, b/c she may feel as though you may be attracted to her and it will ruin the relationship if so. Just try to become her friend and not act interested. Then maybe you could find some how or someplace close to her and move in near by. Then you can try the whole love thing again. Because if it is the first reason then, maybe you just have to be closer to her and not so far away. Right?
And yes it is true both men and women cheet.
Though when you get the special person in your life, you will be able to just stay with them and not anyone else. I think the cheeting is the result of people trying to find there special one, and they just make some wrong decisions.
Muzukashiina!!! I totally know how you feel!!!
My current boyfriend is from Japan, and is only in my home town during school months (which...he is of course super busy ne).
Every summer I am without him...and it is hard.
My advice to you...is find someone who can devote themselves to you. Being so far apart can be really hard.
If the girl you like now is unsure...then perhaps she is not the one...or not ready...
Ganbattene!!!
My current boyfriend is from Japan, and is only in my home town during school months (which...he is of course super busy ne).
Every summer I am without him...and it is hard.
My advice to you...is find someone who can devote themselves to you. Being so far apart can be really hard.
If the girl you like now is unsure...then perhaps she is not the one...or not ready...
Ganbattene!!!
long distance relationships won't work if there is any doubt. she thought it over and she has doubts. there isn't much that you can say or do to truly prove to her otherwise. either shorten that distance between you two or move on and look for a girl closer to you. i know it's hard but that's part of life.
p.s.-don't go around saying you cry in your bed at night. it makes you look like one who is emotionally unstable and one who is very clingy. i don't think girls like a boyfriend that is more emotional than them or one that is too clingy where the relationship feels like it is suffocating. ^^
p.s.-don't go around saying you cry in your bed at night. it makes you look like one who is emotionally unstable and one who is very clingy. i don't think girls like a boyfriend that is more emotional than them or one that is too clingy where the relationship feels like it is suffocating. ^^
i am not saying men are not allowed to cry. let's put it this way... you go around telling every girl, "i always cry in my bed." how does that sound to you? if you are a girl, do you like a guy who just cries his problems away or do you like someone who will work hard to get what he wants? also, don't you think it is immature to cry over one-sided feelings? whenever i hear someone cries about their problems, i think this: emotionally unstable, immature, and clingy. it's ok to cry every now and then, don't get me wrong. it just doesn't sound good when you say you are always crying.
29>
I believe he said "always crying" because English is not his native language. I can't really be sure about his true meaning. I certainly would not try to infer any meaning based on that single phrase. We are not analyzing nuances in meaning in poetry written by a native speaker.
I did not get the impression that he cries all the time. It looks to me like he is hurting a lot because he is losing someone whom he loves. This is a response to a single very painful event. If he is still crying next month over this, then he might have a problem. I would not make that judgement now.
I understand that you are not saying that men should never cry. I will accept the burden of putting forth the proposition that society makes it very difficult for men to cry publicly.
Men tend to suppress crying as much as possible because they are concerned about being perceived as emotionally unstable or immature. It doesn't make any difference if it is in response to a single very painful event or if it really is a sign of a "developmental disorder". Witnesses will not know the difference.
With regard to the matter of one-sidedness, I agree that it might be a one-sided feeling, but that doesn't make it hurt less. Is unrequited love immature?
I believe he said "always crying" because English is not his native language. I can't really be sure about his true meaning. I certainly would not try to infer any meaning based on that single phrase. We are not analyzing nuances in meaning in poetry written by a native speaker.
I did not get the impression that he cries all the time. It looks to me like he is hurting a lot because he is losing someone whom he loves. This is a response to a single very painful event. If he is still crying next month over this, then he might have a problem. I would not make that judgement now.
I understand that you are not saying that men should never cry. I will accept the burden of putting forth the proposition that society makes it very difficult for men to cry publicly.
Men tend to suppress crying as much as possible because they are concerned about being perceived as emotionally unstable or immature. It doesn't make any difference if it is in response to a single very painful event or if it really is a sign of a "developmental disorder". Witnesses will not know the difference.
With regard to the matter of one-sidedness, I agree that it might be a one-sided feeling, but that doesn't make it hurt less. Is unrequited love immature?
do you know famous listing on line known as "As I've matured"? here is the quote. how much you love someone, you cannot make someone love you. thats sad but true.
As I've Matured...
* I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
* I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
* I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just jackasses.
* I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
* I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
* I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others
- they are more screwed up than you think.
* I've learned to not sweat the petty things,
and not pet the sweaty things.
* I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.
* I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
* I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
And the real pains in the butts are permanent.
As I've Matured...
* I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
* I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
* I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just jackasses.
* I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
* I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
* I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others
- they are more screwed up than you think.
* I've learned to not sweat the petty things,
and not pet the sweaty things.
* I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,
unless we are celebrities.
* I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
* I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
And the real pains in the butts are permanent.
Maybe it's hard to believe...but there is always someone else who will make you feel the same way that you feel about that girl.
I have had feelings for a girl that was far away and unavailable to me. I wouldn't say that I loved her, because I never knew her that well. Maybe I knew her better than you know that girl you're thinking about though.
I would have loved the chance to get to know that girl better, but I don't want to spend my timing thinking about it and making myself sad.
It's nice to be romantic and think of "love-at-first-site" or "true love", but the truth is that there are other options.
My best advice for you is to concentrate on yourself. You may think she's the most important person in your life, but YOU are the most important. You must focus on developing yourself into the best person you can be. You must make yourself strong, hardworking, reliable, healthy, and whatever else you feel is important. Do this for yourself, and someone will love you for that. When you find a special person who likes you as much as you like them, then you can devote some attention to them too.
As others have said, if you are meant to be with that girl, you will be. If you are meant to be with someone else, time will give you the answer. You can be a nice friend to her and maybe your friendship will develop into something more. Don't be her friend because you want her to love you though, be her friend because it makes you happy to be her friend.
Good luck!
I have had feelings for a girl that was far away and unavailable to me. I wouldn't say that I loved her, because I never knew her that well. Maybe I knew her better than you know that girl you're thinking about though.
I would have loved the chance to get to know that girl better, but I don't want to spend my timing thinking about it and making myself sad.
It's nice to be romantic and think of "love-at-first-site" or "true love", but the truth is that there are other options.
My best advice for you is to concentrate on yourself. You may think she's the most important person in your life, but YOU are the most important. You must focus on developing yourself into the best person you can be. You must make yourself strong, hardworking, reliable, healthy, and whatever else you feel is important. Do this for yourself, and someone will love you for that. When you find a special person who likes you as much as you like them, then you can devote some attention to them too.
As others have said, if you are meant to be with that girl, you will be. If you are meant to be with someone else, time will give you the answer. You can be a nice friend to her and maybe your friendship will develop into something more. Don't be her friend because you want her to love you though, be her friend because it makes you happy to be her friend.
Good luck!
I don't know my experience will help your thinking,but in my case....
I have a "special" friend who says "I love you" to me.He lives in different prefecture in Japan,about 3 hours far by car.So we can't see so often.
Since I met him first time,it's been almost 1 year passed...but still I can't say I love him.
Because I don't know him enough to trust.I've met him only bout 4/5 times,and always it was short...less than one day.
We often have cotact by mail though not everyday,and I think I like him so much that I can go to his town to see him,but I don't think I love him yet.Because I can't trust him.
Whatever good things he says, for me he didn't show enough by his action that I can believe his words.So I can't have seriouse relationship with him.And I try not to like him more...because I'm scared... if I will love him,I wouldn't be happy...might always warry and doubt about his love...because of distance I can't see him so often,then I don't know what he's doing.I know I need trust,but I'm not so strong....
So I don't have the courage to love him. I think we can vever be boyfriend& girlfriend.
I don't know she has same mind or not...but if she likes you very much,but worries about distance,then if you can make her relieved by your behavior/action,then she might change her mind...!?
I have a "special" friend who says "I love you" to me.He lives in different prefecture in Japan,about 3 hours far by car.So we can't see so often.
Since I met him first time,it's been almost 1 year passed...but still I can't say I love him.
Because I don't know him enough to trust.I've met him only bout 4/5 times,and always it was short...less than one day.
We often have cotact by mail though not everyday,and I think I like him so much that I can go to his town to see him,but I don't think I love him yet.Because I can't trust him.
Whatever good things he says, for me he didn't show enough by his action that I can believe his words.So I can't have seriouse relationship with him.And I try not to like him more...because I'm scared... if I will love him,I wouldn't be happy...might always warry and doubt about his love...because of distance I can't see him so often,then I don't know what he's doing.I know I need trust,but I'm not so strong....
So I don't have the courage to love him. I think we can vever be boyfriend& girlfriend.
I don't know she has same mind or not...but if she likes you very much,but worries about distance,then if you can make her relieved by your behavior/action,then she might change her mind...!?
Reading all these love advices is giving me the same feeling just like when I read "Densha Otoko" thread. Ahh, those sweet memories. (*´∇｀*)
Anyway, from her answer, I assume she just doesn't believe that long-distance relationship can work things out. That does not necessarily mean that she doesn't love you. You just need to gain her trust, make her believe that you would never ever cheat on another girl. Show her some love, don't just say it.
Anyway, from her answer, I assume she just doesn't believe that long-distance relationship can work things out. That does not necessarily mean that she doesn't love you. You just need to gain her trust, make her believe that you would never ever cheat on another girl. Show her some love, don't just say it.
Long distance relationships are difficult, because they are not real relationships. Maintaining contact and keeping up with communicating with one another is vital, however, there is nothing physical. Which being physically intimate is the determining factor between someone who is only a "good friend" and your "boy/girlfriend".
A good quote is:
"I met the love of my life, but it wasn't the right time."
In order for you to have a good and stable relationship, both of you have to be together. Together, both physically and emotionally.
Long distance relationships are only an excuse for someone to wait for another person.
What happens if you meet someone else, but are in a long distance relationship?
Many problems arise as a result of a long distance relationship.
So, please don't think that this is a "no" answer from her, but a "not now" answer
A good quote is:
"I met the love of my life, but it wasn't the right time."
In order for you to have a good and stable relationship, both of you have to be together. Together, both physically and emotionally.
Long distance relationships are only an excuse for someone to wait for another person.
What happens if you meet someone else, but are in a long distance relationship?
Many problems arise as a result of a long distance relationship.
So, please don't think that this is a "no" answer from her, but a "not now" answer
Such a wondeful advises from many people... you're lucky,
When first fall into love, it was as American boy.
I tried to explain my feelings with my poor English (at that time), and he told me "Don't use the word love so much. it sounds like a fake so you have to be careful."
We don't usually say "愛してる" in Japanese so often, so I learned.
It all depends on the personality, but now I think the same way.
Some people are just "words".
When the other doesn't have such a storong feeling towards you, using "love" words can be a bit heavy sometimes...
You should move on, forget about her and do something else, or show her your feelings again with not words, but with what you do.
Good luck!
When first fall into love, it was as American boy.
I tried to explain my feelings with my poor English (at that time), and he told me "Don't use the word love so much. it sounds like a fake so you have to be careful."
We don't usually say "愛してる" in Japanese so often, so I learned.
It all depends on the personality, but now I think the same way.
Some people are just "words".
When the other doesn't have such a storong feeling towards you, using "love" words can be a bit heavy sometimes...
You should move on, forget about her and do something else, or show her your feelings again with not words, but with what you do.
Good luck!
I made my topic because I wanted to overcome long-distance love.
Many people gave me good advice and information, but some people gave me nagative advice.
All of messages hit my heart deeply.
Finally, I decided to tell my feeling “I really love you" again, and listen her feeling to me.
If she had good feeling to me and no confidence to keep long-distance love, I ask her to call every weekend in order to know each other.
In this case, I will confess my love when she believe me.
If she had bad feeling to me, I give up her despite the intention of my love.
I hope that her answer is former. Anyway, I want to keep good relationship with her.
Many people gave me good advice and information, but some people gave me nagative advice.
All of messages hit my heart deeply.
Finally, I decided to tell my feeling “I really love you" again, and listen her feeling to me.
If she had good feeling to me and no confidence to keep long-distance love, I ask her to call every weekend in order to know each other.
In this case, I will confess my love when she believe me.
If she had bad feeling to me, I give up her despite the intention of my love.
I hope that her answer is former. Anyway, I want to keep good relationship with her.
#40 Summabreeze>
I knew a girl for 8 years that basically said
the same thing to me ^^
Doesn't matter how much you mean it...
Even if the person knows you're not the type to
use terms like that freely!
I never took "love" lightly and still don't...
Even though she was Korean, she spoke english well enough that language wasn't a real barrier between us...
More so it was that she was happy being friends...
And I just wasn't...
You can guess how it ended ^^
Have to admire you for trying マッキ−!
In my case she only found out I was interested cause I didn't get a joke!
Hopefully it works out for you, but if you're really
good friends and it's just not happening, than
hopefully you know when to give up =/
Trust me you don't want to lose a good friend
because you can't let go!
That hurts far more than admitting your feelings
might be one sided... Yes?
I knew a girl for 8 years that basically said
the same thing to me ^^
Doesn't matter how much you mean it...
Even if the person knows you're not the type to
use terms like that freely!
I never took "love" lightly and still don't...
Even though she was Korean, she spoke english well enough that language wasn't a real barrier between us...
More so it was that she was happy being friends...
And I just wasn't...
You can guess how it ended ^^
Have to admire you for trying マッキ−!
In my case she only found out I was interested cause I didn't get a joke!
Hopefully it works out for you, but if you're really
good friends and it's just not happening, than
hopefully you know when to give up =/
Trust me you don't want to lose a good friend
because you can't let go!
That hurts far more than admitting your feelings
might be one sided... Yes?
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