I found this on the web in 2003 :-)
1.Ask if you can get a pizza with just crust, no toppings.
2.Call a delivery-only pizza store and insist on "dining in."
3.Using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
4.Make up a credit card name. Ask if they accept it. Cheer if they say yes.
5.Use CB lingo where applicable.
6.Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
7.Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
8.Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
9.Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
10.Answer their questions with questions.
11.Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
12.Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
13.Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from any Metallica CD.
14.Don't name the toppings you want - spell them out.
15.Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
16.Stutter on the letter "p."
17.Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. Order "The Edge" from Little Caesar's or a "Cheeser! Cheeser!" from Domino's)
18.Ask what the order taker is wearing.
19.Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
20.Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
21.Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
22.Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
23.Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
24.Change your accent every three seconds.
25.Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
26.Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
27.Start your order with "I'd like...". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
28.If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99 please pull up to the first window."
29.Try to rent a pizza.
30.Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
31.Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
32.Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
33.Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
34.Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
35.Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
36.Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
37.Imitate the order taker's voice.
38.Eliminate verbs from your speech.
39.When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
40.Play a sitar in the background.
41.Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
42.Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
43.Ask to see a menu.
44.Quote Gandhi.
45.Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
46.Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
47.Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
48.Belch directly into the mouthpiece then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
49.Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
50.Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
51.Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
52.Psychoanalyze the order taker.
53.Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
54.Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
55.Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
56.Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
57.Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
58.Report a petty theft to the order taker.
59.Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and "Great Scott!"
60.Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
61.If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
62.Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
63.Try to talk while drinking something. Gargle.
64.Start the call with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and...action!"
65.Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
66.Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
67.Be vague with your order.
68.When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
69.Using a touch-tone phone, press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
70.After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a hangup.
71.Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
72.State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
73.Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
74.Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
75.Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
76.When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
77.Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
78.Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
79.Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer. Threaten to hit said gofer with a golf club.
80.Put them on hold.
81.Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
82.Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
83.Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
84.When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
85.When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
86.Haggle.
87.Order a one-inch pizza.
88.Order term life insurance.
89.When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
90.Order with a Speak-n-Spell.
91.Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
92.While on the phone, fake your voice changing. Fluctuate pitch often. Act embarrassed.
93.Engage in some serious swapping.
94.Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
95.Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
96.If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
97.Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
98.Order a steamed pizza.
99.Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up. Repeat every hour.
100.Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
101.If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "The last guy let me do it."
---------------------------------------------------------------Shamelessly advertising my own communities @_@ :
Make international and Japanese friends in Kyoto and Kansai:
http://
Community about relations between foreign girls and Japanese guys
http://
1.Ask if you can get a pizza with just crust, no toppings.
2.Call a delivery-only pizza store and insist on "dining in."
3.Using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
4.Make up a credit card name. Ask if they accept it. Cheer if they say yes.
5.Use CB lingo where applicable.
6.Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
7.Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
8.Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
9.Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
10.Answer their questions with questions.
11.Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.
12.Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
13.Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from any Metallica CD.
14.Don't name the toppings you want - spell them out.
15.Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."
16.Stutter on the letter "p."
17.Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. Order "The Edge" from Little Caesar's or a "Cheeser! Cheeser!" from Domino's)
18.Ask what the order taker is wearing.
19.Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
20.Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.
21.Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.
22.Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
23.Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.
24.Change your accent every three seconds.
25.Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.
26.Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"
27.Start your order with "I'd like...". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."
28.If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $10.99 please pull up to the first window."
29.Try to rent a pizza.
30.Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
31.Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
32.Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
33.Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."
34.Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"
35.Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
36.Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
37.Imitate the order taker's voice.
38.Eliminate verbs from your speech.
39.When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
40.Play a sitar in the background.
41.Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
42.Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.
43.Ask to see a menu.
44.Quote Gandhi.
45.Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.
46.Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.
47.Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.
48.Belch directly into the mouthpiece then tell your dog it should be ashamed.
49.Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
50.Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"
51.Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"
52.Psychoanalyze the order taker.
53.Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
54.Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."
55.Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
56.Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
57.Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.
58.Report a petty theft to the order taker.
59.Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and "Great Scott!"
60.Ask for the guy who took your order last time.
61.If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
62.Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.
63.Try to talk while drinking something. Gargle.
64.Start the call with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and...action!"
65.Ask if the pizza is organically grown.
66.Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
67.Be vague with your order.
68.When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
69.Using a touch-tone phone, press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.
70.After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a hangup.
71.Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."
72.State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.
73.Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.
74.Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.
75.Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.
76.When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
77.Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.
78.Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.
79.Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer. Threaten to hit said gofer with a golf club.
80.Put them on hold.
81.Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.
82.Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."
83.Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
84.When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
85.When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
86.Haggle.
87.Order a one-inch pizza.
88.Order term life insurance.
89.When they say "Will that be all?" snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"
90.Order with a Speak-n-Spell.
91.Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
92.While on the phone, fake your voice changing. Fluctuate pitch often. Act embarrassed.
93.Engage in some serious swapping.
94.Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."
95.Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
96.If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.
97.Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
98.Order a steamed pizza.
99.Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up. Repeat every hour.
100.Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.
101.If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your best pouty voice, "The last guy let me do it."
---------------------------------------------------------------Shamelessly advertising my own communities @_@ :
Make international and Japanese friends in Kyoto and Kansai:
http://
Community about relations between foreign girls and Japanese guys
http://
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コメント(10)
the elevator ones:
(from this site: http://www.getannoyed.com/elevator.htm)
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Act like a dog, growl at people.
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask everyone what they made for their side dish.
Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
Blow your nose on your sleeve.
Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
Bring a chair along.
Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”
Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
Clutch your stomach and gasp.
Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Eat jello through a straw.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.
Have a picnic in the elevator.
Have a seizure.
Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
Hug yourself.
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Hum the theme to Jeopardy
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?"
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.
Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
Lean against the button panel.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make farm noises.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Make sure the emergency phone is working.
Meow occasionally.
Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine to everyone coming on board.
Offer hitman services.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Open a lemonade stand.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
Pick your nose.
Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.
Play dead.
Play patty--cake with the door.
Play the harmonica.
Pour water on the front of your trousers, so it looks like you have wet yourself, tell everyone who comes in to the elevator, that you had a little accident.
Pray to Budda.
Preach about the end of the world.
Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator floor.
Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Read a book upside down.
Recite poetry in monotone.
Request for people to watch you Riverdance.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
Scratch yourself.
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Shadow box.
Shave.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady".....pause.....repeat....continually.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce “I’ve got new socks on!”
Start a sing-along.
Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and ask people what comes next.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
Tap dance.
Tell everyone about the hidden rooftop penthouse belonging to the mob.
Tell everyone about your love life.
Tell people you can see their aura.
Tell the passengers not to worry. The bomb won't go off for at least another two minutes.
Throw a party in the vator!
Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.
Untie one shoe, then tie the other. Repeat.
Walk in circles. Change directions when you hit a passenger.
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Wear a basketball jersey. Show everyone your armpit. Works best if you get a good workout and don't use deodorant.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Wear a Santa suit...in June.
Wear a ski mask and carry an axe.
Wear complete SCUBA gear, then offer your buddy hose to the other passengers
When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’ll open again.”
When the doors close pretend you arm got caught in it.
When the doors open, pretend you did it with your mind.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
When the elevator reaches another passenger’s floor, scream and collapse in front of the door.
When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle innocently.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
(from this site: http://www.getannoyed.com/elevator.htm)
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Act like a dog, growl at people.
Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
Ask everyone what they made for their side dish.
Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
Blow your nose on your sleeve.
Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
Bring a chair along.
Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help you study them (get them wrong).
Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”
Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
Clutch your stomach and gasp.
Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your “personal space.”
Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Eat jello through a straw.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an hour.
Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two days.
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers who attept to cross you.
Have a picnic in the elevator.
Have a seizure.
Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.
Hug yourself.
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Hum the theme to Jeopardy
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?"
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of your native island.
Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
Lean against the button panel.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers, etc.)
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make farm noises.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Make sure the emergency phone is working.
Meow occasionally.
Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine to everyone coming on board.
Offer hitman services.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
Open a lemonade stand.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
Pick your nose.
Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.
Play dead.
Play patty--cake with the door.
Play the harmonica.
Pour water on the front of your trousers, so it looks like you have wet yourself, tell everyone who comes in to the elevator, that you had a little accident.
Pray to Budda.
Preach about the end of the world.
Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator floor.
Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Read a book upside down.
Recite poetry in monotone.
Request for people to watch you Riverdance.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
Scratch yourself.
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Shadow box.
Shave.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing “Mary had a little lamb” while continually pushing buttons.
Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes like this!" to the tune of "camp town lady".....pause.....repeat....continually.
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.
Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it's getting larger."
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce “I’ve got new socks on!”
Start a sing-along.
Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and ask people what comes next.
Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”
Tap dance.
Tell everyone about the hidden rooftop penthouse belonging to the mob.
Tell everyone about your love life.
Tell people you can see their aura.
Tell the passengers not to worry. The bomb won't go off for at least another two minutes.
Throw a party in the vator!
Try to purchase an article of clothing from the person next to you.
Untie one shoe, then tie the other. Repeat.
Walk in circles. Change directions when you hit a passenger.
Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.
Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively at other passengers.
Wear a basketball jersey. Show everyone your armpit. Works best if you get a good workout and don't use deodorant.
Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
Wear a Santa suit...in June.
Wear a ski mask and carry an axe.
Wear complete SCUBA gear, then offer your buddy hose to the other passengers
When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now... motion sickness!”
When the elevator doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’ll open again.”
When the doors close pretend you arm got caught in it.
When the doors open, pretend you did it with your mind.
When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"
When the elevator reaches another passenger’s floor, scream and collapse in front of the door.
When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle innocently.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
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