I plan taking part in English speech contest.
I want to make audience laughing.
Do you laugh in my story?
Some time ago in Sunday.I was fighting with my younger brother in living room.After that my brother ran out of living room. I thought must be go in parent's bedroom . I opened bed room door. I could see the swell seems to bundlea quilt himself.I creeped up there. And I stamped the swell.At the same time.
Ouch!!
In a matter of seconds. I pale my face.The voice was not brother's.
uuu….
The voice under my leg is vary my father's.
After all I injured my father rib break take 2 months conplete healing.
I apologized to father again and again. My father forgived me.
From then on his sneeze make my family laugh.
a…a…atcho-ouch!!
a…atcho-ouch!!
I feel sorry but anyway funny.3 months after, He must recover from break completely.He seems to have a practice.
His sneeze was yet…
a…a…atcho-ouch!!
I think many mistake.
please indicate miswritting or improvement point and so on.
Thank you for reading very much !!
I want to make audience laughing.
Do you laugh in my story?
Some time ago in Sunday.I was fighting with my younger brother in living room.After that my brother ran out of living room. I thought must be go in parent's bedroom . I opened bed room door. I could see the swell seems to bundlea quilt himself.I creeped up there. And I stamped the swell.At the same time.
Ouch!!
In a matter of seconds. I pale my face.The voice was not brother's.
uuu….
The voice under my leg is vary my father's.
After all I injured my father rib break take 2 months conplete healing.
I apologized to father again and again. My father forgived me.
From then on his sneeze make my family laugh.
a…a…atcho-ouch!!
a…atcho-ouch!!
I feel sorry but anyway funny.3 months after, He must recover from break completely.He seems to have a practice.
His sneeze was yet…
a…a…atcho-ouch!!
I think many mistake.
please indicate miswritting or improvement point and so on.
Thank you for reading very much !!
|
|
|
|
コメント(77)
>Kohei.Oさん
Trying your best is cool, but just realize that you're probably setting yourself up for disappointment.
It tells you a lot that the only people who seem to find this story "funny" are other Japanese posters... none of the foreigners seem to be laughing.
Seriously, there's no shame in starting from the beginning. That's what I'd do if I were you.
Trying your best is cool, but just realize that you're probably setting yourself up for disappointment.
It tells you a lot that the only people who seem to find this story "funny" are other Japanese posters... none of the foreigners seem to be laughing.
Seriously, there's no shame in starting from the beginning. That's what I'd do if I were you.
> ダン@HIT IN THE 日本さん
I hope to understand your comments.
Truly,A peg I want to be laugh foreigner is from English Rakugo by Katsura Kaishi.
I watched the video in junior high school English class.
Then I scarcely understand what he say.
But I was laughing.
And today ,I hope to be laugh .
I know I am not Katsura Kaishi .
But I want to challenge .
Even if I won't succeed.
I hope to understand your comments.
Truly,A peg I want to be laugh foreigner is from English Rakugo by Katsura Kaishi.
I watched the video in junior high school English class.
Then I scarcely understand what he say.
But I was laughing.
And today ,I hope to be laugh .
I know I am not Katsura Kaishi .
But I want to challenge .
Even if I won't succeed.
Grammer and word choice is important. Try rewriting it with corrections.
I am surprised that none of the resident "very smart" native english teachers on this site have not chipped in with advice.
It is very difficult to make a joke if there are too many mistakes in critical areas of the sentences.
It doesn`t have to be perfect. But it has to be better than this original. Good luck.
I am surprised that none of the resident "very smart" native english teachers on this site have not chipped in with advice.
It is very difficult to make a joke if there are too many mistakes in critical areas of the sentences.
It doesn`t have to be perfect. But it has to be better than this original. Good luck.
Hi Kohei,
Your welcome!
I think it is amazing thing that you are willing to challenge yourself to join the English speech contest! I also think you are so brave!
If I were you, I would be peeing in my pants in front of the audience. LOL
Why don`t you go to the youtube and search under the "Japanese comedian/ English subs" or "Japanese comedian stand up" and see if you can listen to what s/he says or read the Eng subs.
It might help you for something.
Your welcome!
I think it is amazing thing that you are willing to challenge yourself to join the English speech contest! I also think you are so brave!
If I were you, I would be peeing in my pants in front of the audience. LOL
Why don`t you go to the youtube and search under the "Japanese comedian/ English subs" or "Japanese comedian stand up" and see if you can listen to what s/he says or read the Eng subs.
It might help you for something.
>>TokyoOG
>I am surprised that none of the resident "very smart" native english teachers on this site have not chipped in with advice.
Quite frankly that would be a whole lotta pissing against the wind, to the point where I feel like convincing OP to just start over and write a different speech is a better use of my time.
>I am surprised that none of the resident "very smart" native english teachers on this site have not chipped in with advice.
Quite frankly that would be a whole lotta pissing against the wind, to the point where I feel like convincing OP to just start over and write a different speech is a better use of my time.
I'm a member of an English public speaking club named "Toast Masters".
This is worldwide organization.
We have English speech contest every other week.
I think you can find a local club in your area, too.
If you want to learn about basic skill of English speech,
I strongly recommend you to join this club!
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%88%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%83%9E%E3%82%B9%E3%82%BF%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA%E3%83%BB%E3%82%A4%E3%83%B3%E3%82%BF%E3%83%BC%E3%83%8A%E3%82%B7%E3%83%A7%E3%83%8A%E3%83%AB
http://www.toastmasters.org/MainMenuCategories/FreeResources/NeedHelpGivingaSpeech/TipsTechniques/10TipsforPublicSpeaking.aspx
This is worldwide organization.
We have English speech contest every other week.
I think you can find a local club in your area, too.
If you want to learn about basic skill of English speech,
I strongly recommend you to join this club!
http://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E3%83%88%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%83%9E%E3%82%B9%E3%82%BF%E3%83%BC%E3%82%BA%E3%83%BB%E3%82%A4%E3%83%B3%E3%82%BF%E3%83%BC%E3%83%8A%E3%82%B7%E3%83%A7%E3%83%8A%E3%83%AB
http://www.toastmasters.org/MainMenuCategories/FreeResources/NeedHelpGivingaSpeech/TipsTechniques/10TipsforPublicSpeaking.aspx
a…a…atchon-damn!!
a…a…bu-atchoo-damn!!
My father's sneeze is strange and very loud. Sometimes, passer in front of my house is surprised at my father's sneeze.
Sometime ago during Sunday. I was fighting with my younger brother in the living room. After that, my brother ran out of the living room. I thought he must be inside my parent's bedroom.I opened the door to the bedroom.
I could see the bed is bundle with a swell.I sneaked toward the bed and stomped at the swell. In a matter of few seconds,my face turned pale. It was not my brother's voice. My father's voice.Yes,I misrecognized my brother and my father. After all,I stomped my father.
Several days later, my father went to hospital. I apologize to him again when he back.
Then he said with proudly,"two ribs broken. It takes 2months to heal completely".
I repeated apologize to my father,and he forgive me.
From then on his sneeze would make my family laugh.It was an awkward moment, but the situation was funny.
a…a…atchoo-damn!!
a……a…bu-atchoo-damn!!
Next
a…a…bu-atchoo-damn!!
My father's sneeze is strange and very loud. Sometimes, passer in front of my house is surprised at my father's sneeze.
Sometime ago during Sunday. I was fighting with my younger brother in the living room. After that, my brother ran out of the living room. I thought he must be inside my parent's bedroom.I opened the door to the bedroom.
I could see the bed is bundle with a swell.I sneaked toward the bed and stomped at the swell. In a matter of few seconds,my face turned pale. It was not my brother's voice. My father's voice.Yes,I misrecognized my brother and my father. After all,I stomped my father.
Several days later, my father went to hospital. I apologize to him again when he back.
Then he said with proudly,"two ribs broken. It takes 2months to heal completely".
I repeated apologize to my father,and he forgive me.
From then on his sneeze would make my family laugh.It was an awkward moment, but the situation was funny.
a…a…atchoo-damn!!
a……a…bu-atchoo-damn!!
Next
He seems to hurt his ribs. He unconciously say"ouch!".There was like this rotation.He sneeze and feel rib pain and say"ouch!"last say"damn!". The rotation was very funny.I am sorry to my father. But,exactly that is funny. So I laughed too. Someday go on 3 months after from the accident in parent's bedroom.
a……a……atchoo-ouch!-damn!
My father would have to practice his sneeze because his still sndezing weirdly.
a……a……bu-atchoo-ouch!-damn!
this is inproved writing.
please check it.
a……a……atchoo-ouch!-damn!
My father would have to practice his sneeze because his still sndezing weirdly.
a……a……bu-atchoo-ouch!-damn!
this is inproved writing.
please check it.
- mixiユーザー
- ログインしてコメントしよう！
|
|
|
|
☆ENGLISH ONLY☆ 更新情報
-
最新のアンケート
