G
=Girlfriend B
=Boyfriend
G:Do you know me? How much do you know me?
B:Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Sometimes very much and sometimes very little.
Because of that it is unfair for you to expect me to know when you are happy, sad or angry with me.
G:Why do you say it's unfair?
B:Because you sometimes seem to expect me to know what you are feeling (and why you are feeling that way). That is not fair to me because I can only know what you are really feeling if you tell me.
G:If you always wait for me to tell you,that is not fair to me too.Because if you really care about, you can find the reason by yourself.
I feel we are not really talking now. you'er busy,I'm busy..You are in your world,I'm in my world.....
I don't know what do you really like to do in your life, You also don't understand me, I think...
I found you also don't like to open your heart to me,tell me some your real thinking...
Anyway, sometime I feel I don't really know you.....
B:Your statement below (which I have highlighted in yellow) in unrealistic. It has nothing to do with caring. Unless you can read someone’s mind there is no way to tell what they are really thinking unless they tell you. And if you try you are just guessing.
Couldn’t I say the same thing to you – “if you really cared for me you should know what I’m thinking”. If I said that to you it wouldn’t be fair to you either.
If you want me to understand you better then you have to tell me your wants, your needs, your desires. And what’s bothering you and why.
I feel I do open my heart to you but I also know I can be a closed person. So from my view point I think I’m being open but from your view point I’m not. So if you want to know what I am thinking or feeling then you can ask me too. And I will give you an answer.
And just so you know this is not a US person/Chinese person issue. This is a man/woman issue. I have had this same discussion with many (maybe all) of the women I have ever known. Women believe men should always understand them better. But to a man, a woman’s can often be hard to understand. In fact go to Google or Baidu and search “Understanding Women” and you will find many pages dedicated to this issue.
What do you think about the relationship between this girlfriend and her boy friend?
=Girlfriend B=Boyfriend G
:Do you know me? How much do you know me? B
:Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Sometimes very much and sometimes very little. Because of that it is unfair for you to expect me to know when you are happy, sad or angry with me.
G
:Why do you say it's unfair? B
:Because you sometimes seem to expect me to know what you are feeling (and why you are feeling that way). That is not fair to me because I can only know what you are really feeling if you tell me. G
:If you always wait for me to tell you,that is not fair to me too.Because if you really care about, you can find the reason by yourself. I feel we are not really talking now. you'er busy,I'm busy..You are in your world,I'm in my world.....
I don't know what do you really like to do in your life, You also don't understand me, I think...
I found you also don't like to open your heart to me,tell me some your real thinking...
Anyway, sometime I feel I don't really know you.....
B
:Your statement below (which I have highlighted in yellow) in unrealistic. It has nothing to do with caring. Unless you can read someone’s mind there is no way to tell what they are really thinking unless they tell you. And if you try you are just guessing. Couldn’t I say the same thing to you – “if you really cared for me you should know what I’m thinking”. If I said that to you it wouldn’t be fair to you either.
If you want me to understand you better then you have to tell me your wants, your needs, your desires. And what’s bothering you and why.
I feel I do open my heart to you but I also know I can be a closed person. So from my view point I think I’m being open but from your view point I’m not. So if you want to know what I am thinking or feeling then you can ask me too. And I will give you an answer.
And just so you know this is not a US person/Chinese person issue. This is a man/woman issue. I have had this same discussion with many (maybe all) of the women I have ever known. Women believe men should always understand them better. But to a man, a woman’s can often be hard to understand. In fact go to Google or Baidu and search “Understanding Women” and you will find many pages dedicated to this issue.
What do you think about the relationship between this girlfriend and her boy friend?
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コメント(28)
i think most girls have this "LOVE IS POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURED" issue going on.
apparently they dont know how we're feeling either, or else we wont even be having this problem. but it doesnt mean we question your loves for us, because, to be completely honest, that logic is stupid.
so heres my msg to the girls:
LADIES, PLEASE, NO MORE MIND GAME, NO MORE TESTS, JUST SPEAK UP!!
apparently they dont know how we're feeling either, or else we wont even be having this problem. but it doesnt mean we question your loves for us, because, to be completely honest, that logic is stupid.
so heres my msg to the girls:
LADIES, PLEASE, NO MORE MIND GAME, NO MORE TESTS, JUST SPEAK UP!!
Well they're talking about it, so that's not a bad sign. Perhaps doing all that explaining, the♀might get grumpy cuz all she wants to hear is "I'm sorry honey, I'll do better next time."
Some couples click, some can pick up on others better and if neither's happening, they can try to train eachother.That's what I did.
You wish, you ask(nicely), and always show your gratitude. If its the beginning of a relationship you just repeat this↑a couple of times & your partner will get into the habit.
Did I miss the point? The conversation above is a real dejavu
Some couples click, some can pick up on others better and if neither's happening, they can try to train eachother.That's what I did.
You wish, you ask(nicely), and always show your gratitude. If its the beginning of a relationship you just repeat this↑a couple of times & your partner will get into the habit.
Did I miss the point? The conversation above is a real dejavu
I think the girl is being ridiculous.
I sometimes do that- but only if I know I told my guy what makes me upset.
"You don't love me because you can't read my mind, but it's okay, you can't expect the same of me ;D"
That's the impression I got.
Talk it out, ladies.
Either make it more obvious, or have a backbone
I sometimes do that- but only if I know I told my guy what makes me upset.
"You don't love me because you can't read my mind, but it's okay, you can't expect the same of me ;D"
That's the impression I got.
Talk it out, ladies.
Either make it more obvious, or have a backbone
I think they are boy friend and girl friend only in name.
The girl is being ridiculous and the boy sounds as if hes totally disconnected and holds a lecture about some abstract law problem and not about the relationship to the person he loves. ("that I have highlighted in yellow" "If you would turn your attention to page 3 paragraph 4 of the afforementioned....")
The girl is being ridiculous and the boy sounds as if hes totally disconnected and holds a lecture about some abstract law problem and not about the relationship to the person he loves. ("that I have highlighted in yellow" "If you would turn your attention to page 3 paragraph 4 of the afforementioned....")
The girlfriend sounds familiar to me, except that she's not saying "It's japanese culture to know what the other person thinks" 
The boyfriend though sounds hmm.... dunno. Total nerd, I wonder how those two could become a couple in the first place.
The female comments for me would be a sign to start a small battle of wits, a little argument with words. That will show if the couple has still interest in each other and what kind of person the partners are.
The boyfriend though sounds hmm.... dunno. Total nerd, I wonder how those two could become a couple in the first place.
The female comments for me would be a sign to start a small battle of wits, a little argument with words. That will show if the couple has still interest in each other and what kind of person the partners are.
My boyfriend was like this (actually two of them). He was expecting me to read his mind. I couldnt solve it. I hav no patience for it. It just drives nuts. Some game. "I dont know why u r upset, i dont know why u wouldnt speak, i dont know what i said wrong, i dont know what u didnt like!" It can be million reasons and none. I undesrtand that human might hav some idea of perfect balanced love, I understand that it might be dificult or no will to speak. But its just too unrealistic to be true.
I personally dislike when someone makes assumptions about me, even after 7 years together, he is very much likely to make a mistake.
I personally dislike when someone makes assumptions about me, even after 7 years together, he is very much likely to make a mistake.
I think if you pay attention to people, it's easy to understand them. I can easily tell what people around me (that I know, not complete strangers) are feeling, though maybe I don't know why. So if you can't even tell what your boyfriend or girlfriend is feeling, then you probably don't know them very well. It's true that men have difficulty understanding women, but I find that most of the men who have difficulty and need to look it up on the internet are people who either just don't pay much attention or don't try to think about the problem and understand the women, so they look on the internet for "the secret." There is no secret. Just pay attention.
This seems to me like a very stilted conversation between two people who share nothing with each other and yet expect their relationship to work automatically. I agree with マル that a little sensitivity goes a long way; it's really not all that hard to understand someone if one is prepared to talk and listen to what the other has to say. Surely if this particular couple would share more of themselves with the other they would never have such a conversation. Isn't sharing everything central to a loving relationship?
All in all a pretty tedious and irritating dialogue between two self-centered individuals.
All in all a pretty tedious and irritating dialogue between two self-centered individuals.
(1)SIDさん
I think most men like you,they think women are playing MIND GAME.
They think all the women are difficult to understand,or cannot understand.I guess you sometimes you have the same problems with your girlfriend too.
(2)Tahitiさん
I agree with you.Sometime maybe women just want men apologise or say "I love you" etc.Because they don't want to say to the man please say"I'm sorry" or "I love you" to me.If they ask men to do this then men do it,women will feel that is not real the men want to do. So that is why women don't like "JUST SPEAK UP"...
I think most men like you,they think women are playing MIND GAME.
They think all the women are difficult to understand,or cannot understand.I guess you sometimes you have the same problems with your girlfriend too.
(2)Tahitiさん
I agree with you.Sometime maybe women just want men apologise or say "I love you" etc.Because they don't want to say to the man please say"I'm sorry" or "I love you" to me.If they ask men to do this then men do it,women will feel that is not real the men want to do. So that is why women don't like "JUST SPEAK UP"...
well i read all your posts here seems good! But guyz listen one thing Girls are always playing with boy, When ever girl will inlove with you they will say you are so smart and warm hearted person firstly, then after enjoying with you for a year or two they will just leave you can they had enjoyed with you for long and they think 2 years with one man is more then enough!
i am sorry girls yeah i know all the girls are not like this but stil we have to write it coz most of the girls are like this specially from Japan.. I have this experience with two japanese girl even i am too young..
First they told me that i am too smart and warm hearted person.. (it was only on net) then they came to my country to meet me coz i was not free to go japan to meet them.. the first one came and stayed with me about 15 days at the first time and went back to japan and after a short time she said she want to meet me again coz she can't live without me.. anyway we had a good time togather for about 2 years, then she suddenly change her mood when i ask her she said i am not giving her time so its difficut for her to stay with me (Can anyone tell me that how much time a boy have to give to his girlfriend) i was spending 24 hours a day 7 days a week with her when she was comming to meet me.. after all i asked my japanese friend and he told me that she just love your sex coz i am strong in doing sex.. I amstrong because i am climber and most of the time i spend on the high mountains!
so please guyz don't make any grilfriend like i did.. now we are not in contact with each other... the same case was with the second one... when they are comming to me they just want sex they don't care how many times aday they jusr want sex that's all .. they don't know what is the meaning of a boyfriend and girlfriend...
I think theu used me@!@ my experience with a japanese gril is too bad.. so are all the japanese grils think the same?
i am sorry girls yeah i know all the girls are not like this but stil we have to write it coz most of the girls are like this specially from Japan.. I have this experience with two japanese girl even i am too young..
First they told me that i am too smart and warm hearted person.. (it was only on net) then they came to my country to meet me coz i was not free to go japan to meet them.. the first one came and stayed with me about 15 days at the first time and went back to japan and after a short time she said she want to meet me again coz she can't live without me.. anyway we had a good time togather for about 2 years, then she suddenly change her mood when i ask her she said i am not giving her time so its difficut for her to stay with me (Can anyone tell me that how much time a boy have to give to his girlfriend) i was spending 24 hours a day 7 days a week with her when she was comming to meet me.. after all i asked my japanese friend and he told me that she just love your sex coz i am strong in doing sex.. I amstrong because i am climber and most of the time i spend on the high mountains!
so please guyz don't make any grilfriend like i did.. now we are not in contact with each other... the same case was with the second one... when they are comming to me they just want sex they don't care how many times aday they jusr want sex that's all .. they don't know what is the meaning of a boyfriend and girlfriend...
I think theu used me@!@ my experience with a japanese gril is too bad.. so are all the japanese grils think the same?
> Gojal_Hunzaさん
Wow. That's such a sad story that ppl used u just for sex. I really don't know why ppl doing it! I wanna ask them like...Can u feel good without affection for the person u making with?
Anyways,not all japanese girls r like that.
There r so much to say about this situation,boy n girl stuff!
i think the boy hit the point. He can't read her mind unless she say it out.
but!! if they r together for long time n love n care so much, it's easy to understand each other without words.
Wow. That's such a sad story that ppl used u just for sex. I really don't know why ppl doing it! I wanna ask them like...Can u feel good without affection for the person u making with?
Anyways,not all japanese girls r like that.
There r so much to say about this situation,boy n girl stuff!
i think the boy hit the point. He can't read her mind unless she say it out.
but!! if they r together for long time n love n care so much, it's easy to understand each other without words.
Okie... just a guess here but maybe the girl is upset about something unrelated. She doesn't feel that connection to her bf. So, its not like she's upset about something specific but generally she's feeling neglected? The theory here being she is asking for more attention but can't say directly as it would be selfish? An expression of female insecurity? These are all guesses as I don't understand this behavior either.
I've seen it happen when everything gets to be too routine, the woman gets bored and feels like she's lost touch. Can't see where the relationship is going, doesn't feel as special as she used to feel. So... you either try harder to remind her she's special or move on as you'll never be able to make the person happy in the long run.
I'd appreciate an honest answer from a woman, I don't believe the answer that they never do that. They do... its just that they genuinely feel that way at the time. Maggie's answer was pretty good though in #13
I've seen it happen when everything gets to be too routine, the woman gets bored and feels like she's lost touch. Can't see where the relationship is going, doesn't feel as special as she used to feel. So... you either try harder to remind her she's special or move on as you'll never be able to make the person happy in the long run.
I'd appreciate an honest answer from a woman, I don't believe the answer that they never do that. They do... its just that they genuinely feel that way at the time. Maggie's answer was pretty good though in #13
さうさん
I think all your guesses here are right.
When women are feeling neglected,feeling insecurity,want more attention,
they want men to notice these and say something or do something to them.
"I've seen it happen when everything gets to be too routine"
Actually YES,When everyday become the same day,every week become the same week,and they cannot find a good way to change this,they are feel tired and becoming scare...
Maybe the girlfriend know this,she just try to remind her boyfriend,and try to keep the relationgship healthy...
I think all your guesses here are right.
When women are feeling neglected,feeling insecurity,want more attention,
they want men to notice these and say something or do something to them.
"I've seen it happen when everything gets to be too routine"
Actually YES,When everyday become the same day,every week become the same week,and they cannot find a good way to change this,they are feel tired and becoming scare...
Maybe the girlfriend know this,she just try to remind her boyfriend,and try to keep the relationgship healthy...
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing = Nothing.
Nothing = Everything.
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep.
person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.
Everyone wants to know the other person cars for them. But if they care they should show their feelings with affection, words don't really mean much if you just tell the person "I like you."
If someone feels insecure or like the other person doesn't care (usually the woman) she will test the guy or try to get the other person to tell them.
You can't force feelings, right?
But some women are just really spoiled and used to attention so they whine and cry for it constantly.
People, both men and women in every country, need to be more direct and honest about things. Don't play games. If you have to lie to get what you want, then you lack the intelligence of someone who can get what they want with honesty.
If you like someone, then treat them well.
If someone feels insecure or like the other person doesn't care (usually the woman) she will test the guy or try to get the other person to tell them.
You can't force feelings, right?
But some women are just really spoiled and used to attention so they whine and cry for it constantly.
People, both men and women in every country, need to be more direct and honest about things. Don't play games. If you have to lie to get what you want, then you lack the intelligence of someone who can get what they want with honesty.
If you like someone, then treat them well.
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