☆ENGLISH ONLY☆コミュのIs it OK to lie?

"I really like your hair", "No I wasn't waiting very long, I only got here 5 minutes ago",
"I don't mind if you smoke", "I'd love to come but I have a bit of a headache".

I think pretty much everyone lies. At one end there are the small lies we say during
greetings. I might be knocking on deaths door but if someone asks me "how are you?"
I'll say "fine thanks".
Then you have the www where people lie about absolutely everything, it's like they
are building a version of themselves that is completely divorced from reality.

So where is it OK to lie and what lies really annoy the hell out of you?

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[1] mixiユーザー 06月08日 17:16

I personally wouldn't mind those white lies at all. You say you're fine when you're really awfully sick, because you don't want them to worry about you too much. Same goes for lines like "No, I didn't wait long" and "You haven't gained a pound since I met you 20 years ago." They are meant well.

Lies meant to have negative impacts on me... those annoy me a lot.

[2] mixiユーザー 06月08日 17:16

>So where is it OK to lie and what lies really annoy the hell out of you?

That's a good question. I think it's OK to lie when you have to protect yourself.

Lies annoy me the hell out of me are the ones told by others to protect themselves.

[4] mixiユーザー 06月08日 17:19

Rumor is suck!!

[7] mixiユーザー 06月08日 17:53

I think it's ok, if it's a small lies. it wouldn't hurt anybody.

Those lies on above, is not a big deal. i sometimes say those words too and no one picked on me no one get hurt or cried.

Lies can be necessary to show your politeness in the soceity.

[9] mixiユーザー 06月08日 18:40

I think when someone really likes another should never lie!!
I hate liars and hate even the small lie told to me!
When you lie about the others hair is good you are saying to another person to continue using that hair that isnt good...
I always try to be sincere but we cant be sincere with all people isnt!?!?!?!?!?
"Maybe one day I'll be an honest man, Up till now I'm doing the best I can" ahahahahahahah

[10] mixiユーザー 06月08日 19:13

Ｗｈｏｅｖｅｒ　ｓａｙｓ　”ｉ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｌｉｋｅ　ｌｉｅ，　Ｉ　ｄｏ　ｎｏｔ　ｌｉｅ”　ｈｅ/ｓｈｅ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｌｉａｒ！

[12] mixiユーザー 06月08日 20:04

I think it isn't OK to lie in the meaning that you say something in the opposite way of what you really think..
When you don't want to say something, you should rather don't say it or get the topic diverted, rather than lying....haha

or, you simply just say the truth...
Well, when I do that, some people get annoyed though...

[13] mixiユーザー 06月08日 20:39

F,

>someone smarter than me once said "You can say whatever you want as long as you don't lie to yourself"

And is it true to yourself?

[15] mixiユーザー 06月09日 02:27

Rossi Boy (#6)

>> NO!!!!!! You should NEVER EVER tell a lie. Be perfect like me.

LOL. Thanks for the laugh. :)

[17] mixiユーザー 06月09日 07:17

sometimes,to say everything what u feel honestly hurts someone.of course so does to lie. u should use them,thinking the situation

[18] mixiユーザー 06月09日 07:23

there are differents kinds of lie
its ok to tell a lie if you want to help someone or hide some important things.

[19] mixiユーザー 06月09日 08:18

Lying is bad.
But there are some people who can't handle the truth.

I get around the whole thing by just not answering the question.

question: "Do I look fat in this dress?"
answer: "I love that dress on you"

you see? no lie.

Most people don't even realize that you replied to something completely different.

However for me, because I use this method when necessary, I also know when someone is avoiding a question that I want the answer to, or more like hiding something that maybe I should know. When it comes to my friends... like real friends and family, then I expect them to be upfront with me about it. The funny thing is that people think that they are hiding stuff from me and I don't realize it, but in reality, I totally know that something is being hidden and sometimes I even know what it is.

[20] mixiユーザー 06月09日 08:19

I don't think it's ok, and I do think it's pretty pointless in the long run.
I can't think of any point in my life where a lie helped matters. Especially if a person lies to someone in a close relationship.

For example: "No I didn't eat your cheesecake!" or "No, I didn't forget your birthday, the present I ordered online is taking longer then expected."
What would be the point of this? To make yourself look good when you screwed up? I would rather have someone tell me they did something "wrong" then add another wrong to the mix.

How do white lies help in the long run? I think it would eventually bring on mistrust once they caught on...

Man I hate those TWIX commercials they play in the USA. This jerk guy lies to a woman to get her to like him in the first commercial. In the second he comes home late after partying (assumes they got married since the first commercial). He then lies to her again saying he is going to work early. What a *** he is. Just before lying in both commercials time stops and he pulls out a TWIX to eat. That makes be never want to buy TWIX again. Their slogan for this lying jerk is "Need A Moment? Chew Things Over With TWIX."

This is also true in the workplace. If I screwed up, I would fess up. Would it make me look bad to my coworkers? Maybe, but I won't hate myself later.

>When you don't want to say something, you should rather don't say it or get the topic diverted, rather than lying..

I agree, I think that's a good way to avoid blatant lying.

Or using a soft reply like "Do you like my hair cut?" -> "I liked the previous one much better!"
Telling the person the opposite could make them continue to get their hair cut that way.... and then you will have to continue lying about it.

[21] mixiユーザー 06月09日 10:54

Me Lie? Heeck no!!! I just tell an altered version of the truth.

[22] mixiユーザー 06月09日 13:49

When somebody says "how are you?" 99% people always answer "i'm fine thanks".
In Australia, everyone says that, and sometimes I just say "hi" to my friend.. and my friend answered me 'I'm fine thanks".... Hahahahaa...

People here keep saying that without any purpose to hear any further answer. Instead of only say "hi" or smiling, they say "how are u?". Sometimes the opposite person answer "how are you?" too. Hahahaa...

I always want to say the truth, when the first time I came here, that common question, became my hard question to answer, coz I always though first how I really was. It took few time for me to think.

Now I found a way..

When I'm good, I'll say "I'm fine"
When I'm not, I'll say "not bad" (coz not bad, doesn't always mean good. It can be meant "not good either")

hehehee...

[24] mixiユーザー 06月09日 20:21

>m2b (#19)

>>question: "Do I look fat in this dress?"
>>answer: "I love that dress on you"

>>you see? no lie.

I agree with you

[25] mixiユーザー 06月10日 03:31

I think occasionally we should lie as long as a lie doesn't hurt anyone's feelings.

[26] mixiユーザー 06月11日 09:01

It really depends on the situation. Generally, I like to tell the truth nearly all the time. It's even fun most of the time because people just don't expect the truth. They expect "their version" of the truth because reality is too much to handle for most people (me too, reality is frightening!). They like their fantasy worlds where people are all good, especially the people in their inner social circle, and there are just a few black sheeps, while in reality, everyone is bad but there is something good in everyone, in some people much more than in others.

Should you lie to a woman when she asks if she looks good? Tell the truth, tell a lie, she won't be satisfied either way, so tell her nothing but show her instead. If you lie, she'll be upset about you lying. If you don't lie, she'll be upset about you telling her she's ugly. So be inventive. Don't tell her she's beautiful. Make her feel beautiful. Make her knees buckle, you know the drill. If you don't want to or can't, then just lie. She'll be upset but she at least got what she wanted, which is wanting to feel a bit better about herself. If you can't get comfortable with the idea of this, don't be afraid. Not all women are like that.

The only time when I really hate lying is if you especially ask someone if something is true because it is really important to you for some reason or another and you still get a lie. It's better to just say that you don't want to or can't talk about it instead of lying, in my opinion. You can never know the intentions behind someone's questions because people are just too complex, maybe you are doing more harm by lying then you would have wanted to. So it's better to be very cautious whith a lie when someone really wants to know the truth.

[27] mixiユーザー 06月11日 09:22

I think it depends on the lie and what you call a lie :0

I mean, if someone asks you, "Do you love me?" and you say, "yes" just to make them feel good, that's bad.
If someone asks you how you're doing and you're going through something personal, you may just want to stick with an "I'm fine." ^^

Some lies are simply seen as polite and almost a habit, but I think everyone knows when a lie is something serious.

[28] mixiユーザー 06月11日 10:17

It is not right to lie, that's for sure.
However, sometimes we have to lie under certain circumstances.

For me, i'm a bit lazy, haha...so i won't lie if i can, i'm too lazy to cover up the lie. hahaha

[29] mixiユーザー 06月11日 10:48

Telling a lie is not as bad as hurt someone.

[30] mixiユーザー 06月11日 11:06

> Telling a lie is not as bad as hurt someone.
And yet telling a lie is hurtful. In a relationship if you lie,
it often means the relationship is not strong enough to
take the truth. If you feel the need to lie, even by omission,
it is a betrayal. Maybe the lie will never come out, but it is
still there. And if it does come out, the betrayal will cause
more hurt than whatever hurt could happen if the truth had
been told in the first place.

Would you lie about an affair? Would you hide it (perhaps forever)
from your SO? Relationships that are strong enough to survive
mistakes with honesty will be the most long lasting, in my opinion;
it makes it easier to know that you can trust the other person
if they admit their mistakes to you up front.

I agree with #20. Lies are a short term fix that will cause long-term problems.

[31] mixiユーザー 06月12日 09:13

A lie itself doesn't hurt anyone.
A liar hurts people's feelings.

So blame liars, not lies.lol

[32] mixiユーザー 06月12日 11:22

It's important to lie to kids every once in a while.

Helps them learn that adults can't necessarily be trusted.

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