☆ENGLISH ONLY☆コミュのWas I being insensitive?

I got in touch with a long-lost friend yesterday. We were talking away as we had a lot to catch up on. I casually asked him where he lived now, to which he answered that "he" had moved to a townhouse in Bellevue. Knowing both him and his wife, I wondered what he meant by "he" (i.e. "I" instead of "we"). Now my question is, is that an obvious enough sign that he has been divorced? Should I have gotten it? I wondered about that for a second but went ahead and asked about it. Was I being insensitive by doing that? He simply told me, as I'd suspected, that they had been divorced. We kept on talking after that, but I hope I didn't hurt or offend him by "not catching the hint." What do you guys think?

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[2] mixiユーザー 12月07日 15:30

Since you knew him and his wife it was not unreasonable for you to want to clarify what he meant. So, no. You were not being insensitive. He was being vague.

[3] mixiユーザー 12月07日 15:57

Hmm don't worry! You're not insensitive at all. There's nothing wrong with clarifying things especially in your case since you were not aware.

[4] mixiユーザー 12月07日 17:11

it's fine, you are friends. I think it's much better to clarify what you mean, rather than make an assumption that's wrong.

[5] mixiユーザー 12月07日 18:08

You weren't being insensitive, but I think your friend wanted you to induce the fact that they have been divorced. I think your friend would have preferred that you didn't ask.

[6] mixiユーザー 12月07日 19:10

You're friends, it's perfectly ok not insensitive.

[7] mixiユーザー 12月07日 20:03

Dunno about your friend, but in my case, when I give "hints" to my friends, I would expect them to ask more as a sign that they still care about me. So I think you've done the right thing by asking for clarification.

[8] mixiユーザー 12月07日 20:58

I think like Arvanie said, most people give hints not because they want to avoid it, but to have the other ask more about it. Some people might just stay clear from the topic, but if you give a hint, then you'd have to expect people to ask about it if they are interested in you, otherwise you gave a wrong hint I think :3

Also, if you keep thinking too much about what you can and cannot say, you won't have good conversations ^^ Talking too friends should just be natural, if the other one feels offended, just apologize, but don't limit your concern for the other. It is a friend after all, not a business client or something ^^. Caring and friendship comes from sincerity, not politically correct talking.

[9] mixiユーザー 12月08日 02:48

Thanks much, guys!

You all helped me tremendously. I feel a lot better now. Especially what some of you said about people giving you a hint just so you can ask more... that certainly makes sense.

It feels great to have nice people like you guys here. :-)

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