☆ENGLISH ONLY☆コミュのGaijin women.

i'm full american. [half black and half filipino].
born and raised in norhtern california... [san francisco]
so i get the diversity of cultures.
i love the fact that all races get along out here.
and how open-minded we are.
i've dated a few japanese men.
i love them!!! japanese guys are very honest and loyal.
very respectful too... nothing like native bay area guys.
honestly, guys born and raised out here
don't have too much respect for women.

so when i meet an attractive born and raised japanese man
i guess you can say it's very exotic to me.

i taught myself japanese just so i can speak to japanese men.

western women are viewed very forward and "loud".
more outspoken than the submissive japanese women they're accustomed to.


i'll be very honest and serious.
i think there is more of a chance for
white western women to hook up with japanese men
rather women of color in the US hooking up with japanese men.
i think japanese people see white women more attractive and accomplishing

because media has allowed women of color to be displayed
as the middle class more often.
so we seem more likely to not succeed and live in middle class
or low class neighborhoods..
deeming us as a 'ghetto' or low class race.

and yes it's true, i see this out here in america.
it's very much real in america.
and a lot of japanese people i meet have told me
although i do look extoic,
they would marry a white woman.

that isn't the whole population of japanese men..
so i'm not saying all of them are like that.
but from what i experienced.. its like that.

and it seems the stereotypes are in the way of relationships.
if they like hip hop and reggae, they go for black girls.
if they like reggaeton or mexican gang music, they go for latinas.
and so on and so on..
can't it just be about attraction? not categorizing races by music?


this is my opinion on things. =]

Ohhh I'm glad for this topic! I was thinking about starting it. This will be long and unorganized, but as an american girl who is highly attracted to asian guys this is a very personal topic for me and I never get tired of it lol.

Well from my experience I can only talk about white american women and Japanese guys. I have noticed alot of japanese guys are shy around us even if they are interested. This was frustrating at first but once I got over being so shy myself, I learned there are plenty of japanese guys looking for me as well. (of course speaking more japanese would also help) I have dated a handful of japanese guys and am currently kind of seeing one but he's not really a "boyfriend" yet but it seems to be heading in that direction...(at-least I hope!). One of the things that really bugs me, is how alot of Japanese guys think we make good girlfriends but don't consider us for a wife. I AM starting looking for a prospective marriage partner (don't say I'm too young) and I think I would make a damn good wife. So it's highly frustrating that they think because I'm foreign I have strong feministic opinions, I don't...I have very traditional values and opinions on gender roles and such in marriage. However, I do know ALOT of foreign girls who are married to japanese guys, and some have been married as long as 30 years! I know more western girls with japanese guy married couples than I do western guy japanese girl married couples. So It defiantly does happen and it's not as rare as people think! Another thing is alot of japanese men think western women are really opinionated, needy, and strong willed and some get afraid of that. I think it is a true stereotype alot of the time, but not all the time. I'm kind of the opposite...I wont let people take advantage of me but I'm apathetic alot of the times and I tend to just agree or go with the flow to avoid conflict. At the same time there are japanese guys on the opposite end of the spectrum who want a women who is like that and they don't like me because I'm too apathetic.

Another issue that western women face, if they are chasing the japanese guys, is alot of japanese guys willing to date foreigners want the foreigner stereotype. They want the tall, skinny, huge boobs, pale, blonde hair blue eyed girl. I'm short, curvy, small boobs, dark brown hair and eyes. lol. So of course I'm not asian but I'm not "white enough" either. There are guys after my type as well (like the guys I have dated) but they are just a little harder to find and are usually older (30's) not that I mind that at all. It's just sometimes depressing when I see some of my IMO less attractive friends (no offense to them) who fit the gaijin stereotype have to literally fight off guys when I have to make a serious effort to meet them. Alot of my japanese male friends say they have trouble meeting us as well.

The stereotypes can sometimes work to my advantage too. Current-guy-of-interest loves boobs (as do most japanese.....errr just men in general). But you know how in Japan you usually wear 1 cup size bigger than american size? Well sometimes japanese guys brains work that way as well! haha. I'm automatically bumped up a cup size, my boobs are never complimented by asian american guys, but japanese guys do! haha. Current-guy said I had nice cleavage the other day..I never think I have nice boobs, so I was (and still am) extremely flattered haha.

Another issue, this kind of has to do with the not thinking of us for marriage thing...is the (usually college aged) just curious guys. They want to have sex with a white girl to "see what it's like". That's okay and understandable but I need to know before hand if it's not going to go pastsex. There are also the greencard chases/americanophiles to watch out for. I know one... He is basically obsessed with america and wants to live there really badly and is looking for a greencard marriage. After meeting him I started to list "too much interest in my country" as a red flag. Thankfully he never tried to trick me since he knows I intend to stay in Japan, but those guys are out there so be careful. I also find it to be a little bit of a red flag if he has only dated white girls (okay this might not be fair since i have only dated asians lol but most guys have seemed to find it as comforting (less being compared to other race guys) than a red flag) because I feel like they are only dating me because I'm white not because they like me. Current-guy has dated asian (japanese and other ethnicities) hispanic, and white girls and even-though I have an inferiority complex to asian girls, I feel better knowing that being white is probably not the*only* reason he is dating me.

>M4
Well I don't speak good japanese, so I am EXTREMELY limited to english speaking guys. Because of that, I have met all of the guys I have dated threw the internet. Dating sites I have tried but honestly most of those guys turned out to be creeps, I have met all of my dates from siteslike myspace, facebook, and mixi. Ironically, I go to an english speaking school with half japanese people, and I only know one japanese male non japanese female couple. I met japanese guy friends at school, but they have never seemed interested in dating, ever. Perhaps they are too young? The youngest japanese guy I have dated was 28, and all of them have said they didn't really think about foreign girls until they were at-least 25. I have actually had more luck dating asian guys born and raised in asia, vs asian american/australian/etc. I thought it would be the opposite but that was not the case. However all of my guys have studied abroad in college, that may only be because they speak english. I have some friends who have guys who haven't though. As far as 'kawaii' types I have to agree I think japanese guys atleast prefer it. Ratherthey saying hot/sexy etc. I hear kawaii alot more when taking about girls. With current-guy anyway, he has only say hot/sexy to me a few times, but he says kawaii/cute ALOT.

(sorry, I a frickin book hahaha

>Stealth

I understand what you mean. The majority of the Gaijin women I know in Japan are interested in Japanese guys and most of us don't have any problems and we are all different levels of attraction. But the difference stereotypical girls is they just can get pretty much anyone. The few I know who do have a problem getting guys, I believe would have problems in any country not just japan and it's mainly because of their personalities, they are overly shy and/or overly needy. I dont know any personally but I have heard of girls who don't have an interest in japanese guys and they do have problems. I have also heard of a few girls losing their bf or husband after moving to Japan because he went for japanese girls.

Just adding to what クリス said, from my experience some foreign women are scared of venturing out in Japan alone as well. When I first moved to Japan I was by myself and bored so I went out to clubs, parties, meetings. Even though I was alone I still had a lot of fun and I started meeting people that way. One of my friends had lived in Japan for a few years before I went there, and she was pretty much depending on going out with other people than by herself. I pushed her into going to a club by herself (I wasn't interested in the club she'd wanted to go to) and she ended up meeting a guy who she's been with for about 2 years now. Sometimes you can't wait for things to happen for you, you just gotta go out and do stuff yourself.

From what I read is that most marriages in Japan involve foriegn women, but almost all of those women are Asian (read: Filipino). Anyway love is good no matter the color.

>M4
My asian american friend and I usually talk about this. We came up with 2 reasons of why this is probably true.
-Asian guys in non asian countries are usually discriminated against to some degree for being a minority, as a result they usually hang out with other asians and it becomes a bit clicky and many feel like they have to only date their race.
-The other reason is something my friend faces because he likes white girls. He said media and stereotypes give asian men a negative light. Which I agree with. I mean look at all the movies and shows. The asian male is usually perceived as being a gamer, a ninja, a king fu freak, or a work/study a holic. Never as a hunky ladies man. Look at the popular asian male actors in the US, Jackie Chan is perceived as a king fu freak, and masi oka (from heroes,whom alot of my american friends think is damn cute) is perceived as nerdy.

^oops, I meant to add this onto the end of the top post. As a result of the stereotypes of asian americans, most asian men assume non asian girls would not be interested in them, and thus they don'ttry, or they literally freak out and run away when a non asian girl shows interest.

#15 meeks [blasian] Girl have you looked in the mirror lately ? You are exotic with a
capital "E". Absolutely gorgeous!! and I bet very intimidating to some guys. But I would snatch you up in a milli second if I could :) ..... Those guys in the bay are crazy to let you slip by them. Foreal. BTW nice new pic :) Dam!

I don't know too many Japanese guys going out with a non-Japanese girl, but I'm pretty sure LOTS of Japanese men are interested in them. I lived in UK for a while and during my stay there, almost every time I called my male friends in Japan, they would ask me if I'd got a 'gaijin' girlfriend, whcih kind of pissed me off sometimes cos most of the times I had to answer 'no'. Then they would continue like 'Oh, you've got to show those girls how good Japanese men are. Show your samurai spirit!!' etc.

I don't know if samurai spirit has got anything to do with it, but at least this shows that Japanese guys are interested in foreign girls. It's true there aren't as many Japanese boy-Non-Japanese girl couples as Japanese girl-Non-Japanese boy ones and I think this is, as already mentioned somewhere, partly attributed to general shyness seen in Japanese boys, and has less to do with non-Japanese girls.

Once I met a Spanish girl who really liked Japanese men. I asked her why. She thought about it for a while and said, "Japanese boys are very shy and that's one of the things that make them charming to me." This statement sounded quite ironic to me.

TokyoOG >> hahaha thank you! there are guys on my jock,
but i just haven't met the right one yet.

@ meeks
I didn't know women had a jock. lol


@うんじゃがむふんでか
I doubt "samurai spirit" has anything to do with it considering what a small percentage of Japanese were ever samurai.

You guys want to hear about a very Sexy Asian Man -

Daniel Henney.

Google the name and watch what happens.

# 30 meeks [blasian] Well until you do.... :)

#32 Amber (Daniel Henney) I guess I can see how you might think he is attractive. Although he looks a bit like an Asian Doddley Doright. Alot of Asian men models have that look. Doesn`t look very manly to me though :) But how about this guy.... the first Japanese qualify for the Mr. Olympia.

Personally I find Daniel Henney manly....

Thanks for this topic!

I just returned from my second foray to Tokyo. I spent 2 weeks there and had pre-arranged meetings with people (male and female) I had met on MIXI. I plan to return again next year, and hopefully swing living there one day. My handle on the language is limited (I am learning more and more all the time). So, I depend on the people I am with to translate or stick to meeting people who speak some English.

Bottom line: I have come back to Canada totally frustrated with Japanese men!

From my Japanese girlfriends, I expected the shyness. But at some points, it seemed the men didn't even want to be around me!

I was never sure what to think. I guess I went on my interpretation of signals from my own culture. I wasn't sure if I was making them nervous or if they were naturally that way, So, I tried to tone my personality down. I am NOT a shy woman (I am not loud and obnoxious either). I tried to make them feel more comfortable, but it didn't seem to work. It seems they wanted to be with me - one took me to the Ueno Zoo one day, which was fun. But, he was so quiet all the time, visibly nervous.

One man I was kind of attracted to, but from his signals, I had NO idea what to do. In my own country, I would say something, make some kind of subtle move....

These signals in Canada pretty much mean "he ain't that into you". But should I trust that? Even a musician I met there who seemed to be more than assertive and fun, was pretty quiet around me. Argh! Should I have been more assertive?

shouta >>
when i say that it means guys try to hook up with me.
same when you say a girl is on a guys jock..
they wanna hook up with the guy


tokyoOG >>
haha.. oh myyy that japanese guy you displayed is horrid!!
so gross!!!
i don't like the daniel henney type either..
i like guys like kyo from dir grey.. [especially the new look]
miyavi, and for some reason i have an attraction to masaaki fujioka.
i love his single.

meeks>
Sorry I'm not up on ebonics.

TokyoOG>
His head looks photoshopped on (I realize it isn't actually but it still looks fake haha).

shouta >>
ooo well we just call it slang out here. not ebonics.
because everyone has their own words..
and we combine them all into american slang.
like "dude thats dummy fresh". or "aye bruhbruh that's hella wet"

that's slang from at least three different races / lifestyles.
yet all used together..

well thats how we talk in the bay area.
i can't speak for elsewhere.

TokyoOG: Overly buff men are gross no matter what race they are. Blah. A chick could suffocate unde all those veins and muscles!

It's cool for guys to have a nicely toned body but when the muscles in your arms are bigger than the muscle in your head it's a turn off. :P

TokyoOG: O~kay...I say most female likes their man have a bit of manly bulk, but THAT man on the picture is just wa~y too much

M4: Interesting POV you have. Though I'm not so sure I can contribute...

I just posted 3 men who I just find to be fine as all hell.

I like J-Rock as much as the next girl, but I can't see myself actually
wanting to date J-Rockers.

That guy up there is creepy.

Ya that guy up there's skin reminds me of a roasted turkey.... not something I find sexy and it's kind of making the thought of turkey extremely unappetizing. haha

>I like J-Rock as much as the next girl, but I can't see myself actually
wanting to date J-Rockers.

same same..
most of them are not as attractive when they aren't all dolled up anyway. Average Jguys are more attractive IMO. I actually got out of jrock quite a bit after moving here.

Beautiful men up there btw

>クリス

I second this. A lot of J-Rockers can be just plain TERRIFYING without their makeup. I would like someone who looks nice without the assistance of makeup.

not all j-rock members do.

kyo from dir en grey is amazingly sexy. so is miyavi.
actually a lot of them look very hot.

Any time you use the word " make up" in reference to men just seems so wrong. And what aboutthe tiny untrimmed hairs sticking out of the guy in the middles nose ? How can a girl forgive a guy for that? Males are suppose to be masculine! If we were all living a natural life in the wild those guys would not even be allowed to mate. Natural selection would pass them by. When you can`t tell the difference between the guys and the girls something is not right. But its good to hear the opinions of ladies like you. I have no idea why guys think ladies love really buffed bodies but most of us do. Must be pre-programed into our brains from when we needed to be strong like that to survive.

So...... what do we know about the stereotypes and generalities said of Western women? We are all unique in our own way and so similar in others both from a gender and cultural point of view. Me, I'm a Canadian gaijin male,living in Vancouver, BC. In the last 5 years I have met only one western woman whom I was interested in. Possibly a 10!!! Other than that I have been exploring the possibilities of a relationship with an Asian woman, preferably from Japan. I have shared my home with about 2 dozen room mates from around the world. The majority have been women from Japan. Friend, room mate or lover they have all been amazingly good friends and still stay in touch with and visit. Like extended family. So far it's still my preference and perogative. I have a house guest from Tokyo visiting for a week. We will have some fun. Eat some good food, listen to some good music, drink some good wine and talk and laugh. A couple of things that I really admire about Japanese women is their intelligence and their sense of adventure. I just saw a photo of one woman that visited my site..........OMG...I have never seen a face as beautiful as hers, never in my whole life. Well, I'm rambling and tomorrow comes too soon. So, until next time. Arigato gazaimasu.

Tokyo OG >>
everyone has a right to their own preferences! psh psh.
i like all types of guys. [and girls. i'm bisexual]
i selected 3 of my main crushes right here...
veryyy different, but i like them all.
and that wole natural selection doesn't cut it in the real world.
may work out in the textbooks but not real life.
there are gay, lesbian, bi, interracial dating, transgenders etc.
if it was natural selection, there would be no diversity in dating.
thus making humanity dull, boring and unbareable.

1. war machine
2. sevin from columbine (industrial band)
3. yung flacs (my homegirl's brother whom i've been crushin on since junior year of high school)

Dam!!! that guy in the middle is creepy as hell !! The other two are ok. I guess :)

I think words like "masculine" and "strong" need to be redefined. Seriously people it`s freakin 2007! Having a buff body and a rough looking face shouldn`t equal strong or manly. A man that is in good shape, has a nice sense of style, and has more than toast for brains is a strong/masculine man.

A normal guy can be masculine without looking like Mr. Olympia. Most really muscle bound guys workout to get that way for themselves and not to impress the ladies. A Macho thing for sure. Different hormones etc... so it probably doesn`t make sense to most ladies. But you have to understand that there is something that can`t be explained that drives some men to want to look like that.

the one in the middle is in a band with my friend nero.

i hate how they got famous. grr.