Hello all... I'm going to do a presentation for class on hikikomori and wanted to know your thoughts on the subject.
Why do people become hikikomori?
Do you think it's a big problem?
Do you know anyone who is a hikikomori?
Why is there such a stigma attached to being hikikomori?
What do you think is the solution to solving the problem of hikikomori?
Thank you so much for your time and responses. I'll let you know how my presentation goes. ^^
Why do people become hikikomori?
Do you think it's a big problem?
Do you know anyone who is a hikikomori?
Why is there such a stigma attached to being hikikomori?
What do you think is the solution to solving the problem of hikikomori?
Thank you so much for your time and responses. I'll let you know how my presentation goes. ^^
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コメント(18)
Why do people become hikikomori?
I would say it is because they are seeking to protect themselves from other people and whatever else may hurt them and also by the feeling of being different, unwanted or rejected by people.
Do you think it's a big problem?
I think it’s a growing problem but at the moment it’s not very serious and blown out of proportion by the media.
Do you know anyone who is a hikikomori?
No.
Why is there such a stigma attached to being hikikomori?
The hikikomori hardly follows a lifestyle that could be considered normal and anything that isn’t “normal” will be viewed as something bad by the majority of people. People simply don’t like those who are “different” for whatever reasons.
What do you think is the solution to solving the problem of hikikomori?
I wouldn’t know but I guess reminding them that its possible to be comfortable with other people and have a good time with other people would be the best approach. Then again the hikikomori might never of had good experiences with other people so it might not work at all…
I would say it is because they are seeking to protect themselves from other people and whatever else may hurt them and also by the feeling of being different, unwanted or rejected by people.
Do you think it's a big problem?
I think it’s a growing problem but at the moment it’s not very serious and blown out of proportion by the media.
Do you know anyone who is a hikikomori?
No.
Why is there such a stigma attached to being hikikomori?
The hikikomori hardly follows a lifestyle that could be considered normal and anything that isn’t “normal” will be viewed as something bad by the majority of people. People simply don’t like those who are “different” for whatever reasons.
What do you think is the solution to solving the problem of hikikomori?
I wouldn’t know but I guess reminding them that its possible to be comfortable with other people and have a good time with other people would be the best approach. Then again the hikikomori might never of had good experiences with other people so it might not work at all…
>Jさん
こたえありがとう！ Thank you so much for your response on this topic. It's interesting to see what different people's perceptions are about this subject. It's interesting to see that you think hikikori isn't as big of a problem as presented in the media. ^.^
>みにゃんさん
こたえありがとう！ Thank you so much for sharing your brother's story with me. I'm sorry to hear that your brother has such a strained relationship with your parents and I hope that they manage to repair it in the future. I think you're right, I think communication is the key to rebuilding your brother's trust in people.
こたえありがとう！ Thank you so much for your response on this topic. It's interesting to see what different people's perceptions are about this subject. It's interesting to see that you think hikikori isn't as big of a problem as presented in the media. ^.^
>みにゃんさん
こたえありがとう！ Thank you so much for sharing your brother's story with me. I'm sorry to hear that your brother has such a strained relationship with your parents and I hope that they manage to repair it in the future. I think you're right, I think communication is the key to rebuilding your brother's trust in people.
Hey there! Im kinda hikikomori right now. Its not that serious thou. I just like staying at home when Iam free.
I totaly agree about what 3.J meant up here. Home is the only place I can be relaxed, and that makes me feel more awkward to go out.
Also I can say, some parents are spoiling theri kids by giving money to them. 人 shows 2 people supporting each other. Yes we need support, but I dont think only giving money is "support".
My boyfriends cousin is hikikomori. I dont really kow him but I heard it from my boyfriend. His parents wanted him to be a doctor and forced him to study hard. He didnt even have time to hang out with his friends. Everyday, 塾塾塾! That turned out pressure to him. He really worked hard to get into 某university, but he couldnt make it. After then, he got stuck in his room and didnt go out. Since his parents are feeling guilty for what they have done to him, they dont kick him out of their house and give him whatever he wants. I guess that is one of the classical hikikomori cases in Japan.
I totaly agree about what 3.J meant up here. Home is the only place I can be relaxed, and that makes me feel more awkward to go out.
Also I can say, some parents are spoiling theri kids by giving money to them. 人 shows 2 people supporting each other. Yes we need support, but I dont think only giving money is "support".
My boyfriends cousin is hikikomori. I dont really kow him but I heard it from my boyfriend. His parents wanted him to be a doctor and forced him to study hard. He didnt even have time to hang out with his friends. Everyday, 塾塾塾! That turned out pressure to him. He really worked hard to get into 某university, but he couldnt make it. After then, he got stuck in his room and didnt go out. Since his parents are feeling guilty for what they have done to him, they dont kick him out of their house and give him whatever he wants. I guess that is one of the classical hikikomori cases in Japan.
I agree that parents are biggest cause making hikikomori; not only leading them to be so in their childhood, but more in present status that they are making their kids live in hikikomori style.
I don't say all is the case, but many of them have "co-addiction" problems. Japanese way of thinking that family should solve their problem all by themselves and social care stay back as long as there are family members and relatives existing making it worse.
Once,イエ(家) was the major subject of social renovation in Japan, when we thought we are feudalistic people living in modern world. Now, modern core family we finally gained is the issue to be discussed.
I don't say all is the case, but many of them have "co-addiction" problems. Japanese way of thinking that family should solve their problem all by themselves and social care stay back as long as there are family members and relatives existing making it worse.
Once,イエ(家) was the major subject of social renovation in Japan, when we thought we are feudalistic people living in modern world. Now, modern core family we finally gained is the issue to be discussed.
>kana-san
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and the story about your boyfriend's cousin. It's very helpful for me to try to understand hikikomori. I think we can all understand the hiki mentality a little because we all have times when we want to be alone.
Also, thank you for giving me your opinion on parents and spoiling. It was really interesting to learn that 人 is seen as two people supporting each other. Benkyou ni narimashita! Arigatou!
>rajiosan-
Thank you for the suggestion. It was very helpful!
>ひろき(Hiroki)san-
Thank you for sharing your personal case. You brought up some very interesting points. Thank you especially for the mention of "outer control parents" and "inner control parents." This is the first time I've heard of this analysis so it was very interesting to learn about it. mo ichido benkyou ni narimashita. Arigatou!
>ナカイサヤカsan-
Thank you for your message. Would you be willing to explain more about "co-addiction" problems and イエ(家)? Can you also tell me more about the Japanese "modern core family?" Yoroshiku onegaishimasu. m(_ _)m
Thank you so much for sharing your feelings and the story about your boyfriend's cousin. It's very helpful for me to try to understand hikikomori. I think we can all understand the hiki mentality a little because we all have times when we want to be alone.
Also, thank you for giving me your opinion on parents and spoiling. It was really interesting to learn that 人 is seen as two people supporting each other. Benkyou ni narimashita! Arigatou!
>rajiosan-
Thank you for the suggestion. It was very helpful!
>ひろき(Hiroki)san-
Thank you for sharing your personal case. You brought up some very interesting points. Thank you especially for the mention of "outer control parents" and "inner control parents." This is the first time I've heard of this analysis so it was very interesting to learn about it. mo ichido benkyou ni narimashita. Arigatou!
>ナカイサヤカsan-
Thank you for your message. Would you be willing to explain more about "co-addiction" problems and イエ(家)? Can you also tell me more about the Japanese "modern core family?" Yoroshiku onegaishimasu. m(_ _)m
>ひろき(Hiroki)san
I think you're right. Writing a quick report or doing a quick speech isn't the same as knowing what it's like to be a hikikomori. Because I'm not an expert, I can't fully understand what it's like to be a hikikomori. Please excuse any blunders that I might have unconsciously made. I'll write you more via private message. ^.^
>るびるびsan
Thank you so much for the link. It had some really interesting viewpoints. I never knew that hikikomori was such a sensitive topic.
I think you're right. Writing a quick report or doing a quick speech isn't the same as knowing what it's like to be a hikikomori. Because I'm not an expert, I can't fully understand what it's like to be a hikikomori. Please excuse any blunders that I might have unconsciously made. I'll write you more via private message. ^.^
>るびるびsan
Thank you so much for the link. It had some really interesting viewpoints. I never knew that hikikomori was such a sensitive topic.
Ame san
Sorry I did not answerer your question soon.
"co-addiction" problems is something happens to people supporting the family member who has problem. Parents, mothers, grandparents, wives, husbands or children of hikikomori sometimes find their meanings of life in supporting the troubled one.
So with out knowing, they help hikikomori to stay in the same condition. They say and feel how happy they will be if this hikikomori person start working or going to school, but they feed him/her, wash clothes, buy what they want so hikikomori person will not go out, leaving them behind. Supporting families also do not take them to therapist, because they feel it is their role to help hikikomori and don't want taken that role away.
イエ(家) problem was said to be the source of Japanese social issues for decades. In イエ system, person exist for イエ than being themselves. In old family system, where many people lived together, you are expected to play your fixed role as Father, mother, hair and so on. Japanese family members call each other in role than name represent this very well. American mother say "Your father" to her son, but Japanese wife call her husband "otosan".
Modern Japanese core family should have solved this loss of individual in イエ system; Father, mother and children would make simple home bound by love. But it turned out husbands find their family in their company and wives left tend to find their meaning of life to be a perfect mother, playing role again.
So this type of family is another dis functioning family without real human relationship.
Hope this will be a hint for your report.
Sorry I did not answerer your question soon.
"co-addiction" problems is something happens to people supporting the family member who has problem. Parents, mothers, grandparents, wives, husbands or children of hikikomori sometimes find their meanings of life in supporting the troubled one.
So with out knowing, they help hikikomori to stay in the same condition. They say and feel how happy they will be if this hikikomori person start working or going to school, but they feed him/her, wash clothes, buy what they want so hikikomori person will not go out, leaving them behind. Supporting families also do not take them to therapist, because they feel it is their role to help hikikomori and don't want taken that role away.
イエ(家) problem was said to be the source of Japanese social issues for decades. In イエ system, person exist for イエ than being themselves. In old family system, where many people lived together, you are expected to play your fixed role as Father, mother, hair and so on. Japanese family members call each other in role than name represent this very well. American mother say "Your father" to her son, but Japanese wife call her husband "otosan".
Modern Japanese core family should have solved this loss of individual in イエ system; Father, mother and children would make simple home bound by love. But it turned out husbands find their family in their company and wives left tend to find their meaning of life to be a perfect mother, playing role again.
So this type of family is another dis functioning family without real human relationship.
Hope this will be a hint for your report.
>商用アヒルsan
Thank you for posting here. It sounds like you would like to get some help. Hirokisan is very wise when it comes to hikikomori. Please listen to his advice. You can also message me if you just want to talk.
>ナカイサヤカsan
Thank you so much for explaining this further. It's hard to remember that the Japanese and American culture are so distinctly different. Replies like this really strike home how different we are.
Thank you for posting here. It sounds like you would like to get some help. Hirokisan is very wise when it comes to hikikomori. Please listen to his advice. You can also message me if you just want to talk.
>ナカイサヤカsan
Thank you so much for explaining this further. It's hard to remember that the Japanese and American culture are so distinctly different. Replies like this really strike home how different we are.
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