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☆NihonJack⇔日本ジャック☆コミュのSchool kids’ Suicides Caused by Bullying (Writing Practice )

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Could anybody check and correct my English?
Also, I’d appreciate it if you shared your opinions about this topic.

We’ve heard school children’s suicide cases in a row these days. It’s sad to hear news about school kids’ suicides caused by bullying.As a mother of a child, I can imagine how tough it would be for parents to lose loving ones from suicide. What can we parents do to protect our children?
What would you do if you noticed your child was bullied? I hear children who are quiet and defenseless can be easy targets for bullying.But I think the problem is on the bully’s side. They have problems in their mentality that they can’t stop bullying. Today’s children are living in this stressful society with the economic growth that generates stiff competition even among children. It seems to me they relieve stress that they get from social competition, by bullying someone else who are weaker than them.

I think it’s important for parents to communicate with your kids and try to detect the sign of trouble that they face. But it is difficult to do it because kids in their puberty are so sensitive and tend not to talk much
about their lives in school. I want them to live no matter how hard it is. They shouldn’t waste their precious lives because of the stupid bullies.

Those who are extrovert, outgoing are less likely to be bullied. But in the distorted society, you can’t tell what triggers bullying.
Everyone can be a target for bullying just because you try to protect your friend who is bullied.

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We’ve heard school children’s suicide cases in a row these days.

Lately, we've heard about a string of children's suicides.

It’s sad to hear news about school kids’ suicides caused by bullying.As a mother of a child, I can imagine how tough it would be for parents to lose loving ones from suicide.

lose loved ones to suicide

What can we parents do to protect our children?
What would you do if you noticed your child was bullied? I hear children who are quiet and defenseless can be easy targets for bullying.But I think the problem is on the bully’s side. They have problems in their mentality that they can’t stop bullying.

They have mental problems and can't stop themselves from bullying.

Today’s children are living in this stressful society with the economic growth that generates stiff competition even among children. It seems to me they relieve stress that they get from social competition, by bullying someone else who are weaker than them.

...they relieve stress through social competition, .... by bulling others who are...

I think it’s important for parents to communicate with your kids and try to detect the sign of trouble that they face.

...with their kids... detect any signs of...

But it is difficult to do it because kids in their puberty are so sensitive and tend not to talk much
about their lives in school. I want them to live no matter how hard it is. They shouldn’t waste their precious lives because of the stupid bullies.

Those who are extrovert, outgoing are less likely to be bullied. But in the distorted society, you can’t tell what triggers bullying.
Everyone can be a target for bullying just because you try to protect your friend who is bullied.

... extroverted and outgoing... in this distorted... bullying, even for just trying to protect your friend who is being bullied.


Very good!!!!
Two tiny additional suggestions:

I would say "as a mother" and lose the "of a child". One word implies the other.

Extrovert means outgoing to a certain extent so probably one or the other would do.

What a stunning piece of English, Daisy!
Thank you for the correction and compliments, 酢七面鳥 and Robert.
I’ll rewrite the essay to make it better.

Daisy

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