MUMPS, or alternatively M
http://207.192.157.194/MDC/
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The latest version of the system has layers upon layers of WTF-ey goodness on top; an "SQL Projection", a VB-like language, etc ... All built on top of good ol' M. I'd suggest googling Cache'(that accent is important).
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Note, also, that if you happen to be involved in the VA hospital system (that's the Veteran's Administration for those outside the US), all of your data is in a MUMPS-base somewhere ... Unless it was on that thumb drive that got stolen, but that's another story.
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I, too, am unfortunate enough to be in a MUMPS-shop, with no light at the end of the tunnel, unless it's a train.
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Edit: And in my experience, everyone that uses it either absolutely hates it, or has consumed the Kool-Aid and absolutely loves it, and will extol its "virtues" at great length. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground with this pile of crap.
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Mumps is 1960s technology. If a system is still around that's written in mumps, it is probably at least 20 years old and possibly 30. Or the owner of the system is too poor to buy anything new (like some hospitals).
It was designed for PDPs holding masses of text data with hundreds or thousands of users on dumb VT terminals. The restrictions on memory were crippling (there's probably more computing power on your mobile phone). Hence the 8 character name limit (and the one-letter commands).
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It seems to me that MUMPS isn't remarkably different from any other language that was state-of-the-art 40 years ago; the microcomputer BASIC I myself was weaned on had several traits in common with it.
The strict left-to-right evaluation of expressions is surely a WTF though. It's algebraically incorrect to perform an addition before a multiplication.
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It's not sane, but it makes sense. Or it did, 40 years ago.
正気ではないが、意味はある。あいは、あった。40年前は。
Now it's got senior managers and hospital bureaucrats who "have a computer system that works, has worked, and will continue to work." Think about how long it takes to get a surgical technique to change. Now apply that thinking to something that they don't understand.
It makes you think - what will the programmers and engineers in 2047 think of our antiquated workmanship? "You have to remember that they had only 2 dimensional displays, and the neural interface was still 20 years away."
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