Okay, nice to see you guys, my name is BANE.
I decided to use this nick name since my name is haru... haru made me imagine Spring in english... spring is also BANE in japanese you know, so i use it as my nick name.
About me... i came the us to study abroad, and it has been for 1y and 10 months almost... almost 2 years, but since im too lazy, i cant speak english rwell yet.
I guess this community is good to practice my english for writing... maybe. I hope so... well, and, i am going to transfer to 4 years university next fall semester. The universities i will transfer are UC irvine or... hopefully, uc Los Angels.
because Im keeping 4.0GPA hehe, but im not sure if i can keep them because i will take5 classes which are difficult next semesterX(... I will do my best, but... you know, its really hard to take 5 classes in 1 semester... and most classes are really hard. I guess.
k anyways, i WILL keep writing this dairy as much as possible. Hope u guys will enjoy mine... I don think i will write any fun staff tho lmao
thanks!
I decided to use this nick name since my name is haru... haru made me imagine Spring in english... spring is also BANE in japanese you know, so i use it as my nick name.
About me... i came the us to study abroad, and it has been for 1y and 10 months almost... almost 2 years, but since im too lazy, i cant speak english rwell yet.
I guess this community is good to practice my english for writing... maybe. I hope so... well, and, i am going to transfer to 4 years university next fall semester. The universities i will transfer are UC irvine or... hopefully, uc Los Angels.
because Im keeping 4.0GPA hehe, but im not sure if i can keep them because i will take5 classes which are difficult next semesterX(... I will do my best, but... you know, its really hard to take 5 classes in 1 semester... and most classes are really hard. I guess.
k anyways, i WILL keep writing this dairy as much as possible. Hope u guys will enjoy mine... I don think i will write any fun staff tho lmao
thanks!
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コメント(85)
go down go down
I let myself down LOL thats so funny...
Why dont i improve myself? since its tired and kinda ridiculous.
Why do I have to improve myself? I don wanna do that.
Would someone be happy if I do that?
No.
I can just suck my shitty feeling up and don do anything.
Its the easiest way to go through shitty things happen to me.
FUCK IT
I let myself down LOL thats so funny...
Why dont i improve myself? since its tired and kinda ridiculous.
Why do I have to improve myself? I don wanna do that.
Would someone be happy if I do that?
No.
I can just suck my shitty feeling up and don do anything.
Its the easiest way to go through shitty things happen to me.
FUCK IT
the person who succeed is....
think what was not good and get better solution from the past and imply it
the person who failed is...
doesnt think what was not good or does not imply
Im latter.
I don care what would be but ill just try to do things i have to do or wat I want to do or what i think it will work or help myself.
GO GET WHAT I WANT OR NEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
think what was not good and get better solution from the past and imply it
the person who failed is...
doesnt think what was not good or does not imply
Im latter.
I don care what would be but ill just try to do things i have to do or wat I want to do or what i think it will work or help myself.
GO GET WHAT I WANT OR NEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Intelligence is not about which university one graduated.
Intelligence is about how one keep one's humility and trying to understand things.
But I think there are tendency that those who graduated good school has more intelligence than those who did not.
Just a tendency, but u know, its tendency.
Intelligence is about how one keep one's humility and trying to understand things.
But I think there are tendency that those who graduated good school has more intelligence than those who did not.
Just a tendency, but u know, its tendency.
damn shit its fuckin cold inside of my frekin room dangit...
recently I stay up till 5 or 6 oclock and wake up about 1 or 2 pm...
Idk, since I don have school till end of september, I don have anthing whcih I gotta do.
So... Im drinking and hanging out with my friends a lot.
Here, we don have anything except drinking. Suck hah?
But I love o'side. I love here.
Here has lots of my memories, and those memories are lovely, cute, fabulous for me.
I LOVE O'SIDE! I would fuck u if u were a girl :p
recently I stay up till 5 or 6 oclock and wake up about 1 or 2 pm...
Idk, since I don have school till end of september, I don have anthing whcih I gotta do.
So... Im drinking and hanging out with my friends a lot.
Here, we don have anything except drinking. Suck hah?
But I love o'side. I love here.
Here has lots of my memories, and those memories are lovely, cute, fabulous for me.
I LOVE O'SIDE! I would fuck u if u were a girl :p
it seems that no one use this community anymore... thats kinda funny lol
and i started to write a dairy again since i gotta practice writing english.... its mandatory now :(
and i think it is really good for myself to write everything happened in the days since it strengthen my brain to memorize :D
so today.
i woke up around 12 oclock almost.... since i worked out so hard yesterday ( recently my heartbeat is really weird after i get salty food. I think my blood circulation has too much salt or sugar and my body tries to get rid of them, thats why my heartbeat goes faster and weird i suppose... finishing working out, it became normal and i felt good.
so anyways, i woke up around 1 oclock pm since i got too tired to wake up. right after i woke up, i check a laptop up but it got frozen. I tried to restart my laptop but it started checking disc and it took about 15 mins to start up the windows. my laptop got suck since i fall it... that sucks :( it could work well longer if i didnt fall and kinda broke it... fudge. ive been using this laptop for about 4 years... and love my laptop.
Okay anyways, while i was starting my laptop, my roommate came to me and asked what i was doing, and... talked about things like whatever, i suppose he talked about his laptop too since its broken from out of order of his hard disc. it looked cool because it can be carried easily due to its smallness, and speaker is located next to the monitor. i wanted if i could get it. and he told me that the friend, who was used to be my roommate too, would come to this house and see if he can fix it.
I felt little bit annoyed since i live in living room and cannot relax, but at the same time its good for me since i cant show my laziness in front of them.
oh yeah, before the friend came, we talked about if im going to eat out. However i reject their invitation since i gotta study >:) now im hard-worker guys!!!!
well and they went eating out and i kept staying living room studying english. I was to finish my vocabulary book 2 days ago but... something happened such that i noticed that my reputation for my ex gf was sooo bad and still she thinks i suck or im criminal or something like that. and depressingly, she told that to other people. I gotta suck it up since that happened from what i did before, but still, i noticed what ive done was terrible and felt like i gotta die... so. I got depressed on sep 2nd and being lazy on 3rd and started studying from 4th and 5th i guess.
Okay, so right before my roommate came back, my kinda gf called me and told me that SERIOUS PROBREMS. and i kinda got mad since how she sounds was not responsible even though she kinda made the problem worse. i told her what to do, and just accept what you would get. after that, i talked with my roommate about that eating their taking out dinner and he gave me advise saying i should damp her lol idk but i will see.
after that, start studying again and i finished the vocabulary book and study and teach japanese with my friend on skype and talking with japanese friend now.
AND i burned SOMEN today, but i washed it perfectly, so no problem with that. the thing was I noticed that im tend to forget im boiling water. I gotta be careful not to forget about using kitchen while im doing another thing.
thats all, lets call it a day!
and i started to write a dairy again since i gotta practice writing english.... its mandatory now :(
and i think it is really good for myself to write everything happened in the days since it strengthen my brain to memorize :D
so today.
i woke up around 12 oclock almost.... since i worked out so hard yesterday ( recently my heartbeat is really weird after i get salty food. I think my blood circulation has too much salt or sugar and my body tries to get rid of them, thats why my heartbeat goes faster and weird i suppose... finishing working out, it became normal and i felt good.
so anyways, i woke up around 1 oclock pm since i got too tired to wake up. right after i woke up, i check a laptop up but it got frozen. I tried to restart my laptop but it started checking disc and it took about 15 mins to start up the windows. my laptop got suck since i fall it... that sucks :( it could work well longer if i didnt fall and kinda broke it... fudge. ive been using this laptop for about 4 years... and love my laptop.
Okay anyways, while i was starting my laptop, my roommate came to me and asked what i was doing, and... talked about things like whatever, i suppose he talked about his laptop too since its broken from out of order of his hard disc. it looked cool because it can be carried easily due to its smallness, and speaker is located next to the monitor. i wanted if i could get it. and he told me that the friend, who was used to be my roommate too, would come to this house and see if he can fix it.
I felt little bit annoyed since i live in living room and cannot relax, but at the same time its good for me since i cant show my laziness in front of them.
oh yeah, before the friend came, we talked about if im going to eat out. However i reject their invitation since i gotta study >:) now im hard-worker guys!!!!
well and they went eating out and i kept staying living room studying english. I was to finish my vocabulary book 2 days ago but... something happened such that i noticed that my reputation for my ex gf was sooo bad and still she thinks i suck or im criminal or something like that. and depressingly, she told that to other people. I gotta suck it up since that happened from what i did before, but still, i noticed what ive done was terrible and felt like i gotta die... so. I got depressed on sep 2nd and being lazy on 3rd and started studying from 4th and 5th i guess.
Okay, so right before my roommate came back, my kinda gf called me and told me that SERIOUS PROBREMS. and i kinda got mad since how she sounds was not responsible even though she kinda made the problem worse. i told her what to do, and just accept what you would get. after that, i talked with my roommate about that eating their taking out dinner and he gave me advise saying i should damp her lol idk but i will see.
after that, start studying again and i finished the vocabulary book and study and teach japanese with my friend on skype and talking with japanese friend now.
AND i burned SOMEN today, but i washed it perfectly, so no problem with that. the thing was I noticed that im tend to forget im boiling water. I gotta be careful not to forget about using kitchen while im doing another thing.
thats all, lets call it a day!
ahhhghghghh schools started already and i got first exam on last thursday....
was freakin hard and i assume i got c on the test. FUUUUUUUUUUDGEEEEEEEE
I really like to going to my school but... well... it might be too hard for me.
today I saw the world university ranking on the yahoo news, and I found my school on the ranking. the rank was 13. Tokyo univ is 27....
I don know if i can graduate ucla now D: don kill me please.
was freakin hard and i assume i got c on the test. FUUUUUUUUUUDGEEEEEEEE
I really like to going to my school but... well... it might be too hard for me.
today I saw the world university ranking on the yahoo news, and I found my school on the ranking. the rank was 13. Tokyo univ is 27....
I don know if i can graduate ucla now D: don kill me please.
I feel like im getting over my ex tho i got damped just about 1 years ago.
The point I don like is Im getting over because I found new cute girl... and I don even know if I can get her.
well, but now, I feel totally fine. I saw my ex picture on fb, but I didnt have sad or upset feeling.
Until pretty recent, I had feelings such as... regret or like or miss or... watever like that.
I wouldnt say I changed. I wouldnt say I would be perfect boyfriend. Im me, myself. forever, it wont change.
wat I would do is just trying to make her happy, lough, make her life easier than being by herself.
And if I couldnt make it, then its fine, Itll be my responsibility to keep up GOOD friendship between us...
if i could, then lets say... make her pussy wet, not her eyes, hehe.
Making effort on getting her is not bad I guess.
Just, dont make something else sadder.
Thats the most important thing I have to be careful of.
I made freakin big mistake and messed up all relationship including friendship off course...
but fortunately, I still have friends and they are pretty cool and great and chill, cool, sexy, wonderful, fantastic, and whatever I complement them.
I appreciate them a lot and still have chances to get someone to love and friends to hang out.
and I have bunch of nice friends already.
what I want to say is...
ppl go wrong anyways.
They make a lot of mistakes and lose a lot of things like friends, friendship, relatives, boy or girlfriends.
But we will not lose our chance to make everything up again.
There's still possibility that you can fix the problem. or, fix the everything you lost.
And you wont lose the possibility forever, its called hope.
You might not be able to fix them off course.
It happens. However,
do not get sad because you will not forget what you did and if you would do such things again, you will lose important ppl for you again and you are enough to learn that from what happened a year ago.
So, yeah.
Do not get depressed if you got rejected.
but, do not get afraid of getting girl.
just go for it, everything will be fine.
I can make everything turn out fine.
I got strong on that :p
The point I don like is Im getting over because I found new cute girl... and I don even know if I can get her.
well, but now, I feel totally fine. I saw my ex picture on fb, but I didnt have sad or upset feeling.
Until pretty recent, I had feelings such as... regret or like or miss or... watever like that.
I wouldnt say I changed. I wouldnt say I would be perfect boyfriend. Im me, myself. forever, it wont change.
wat I would do is just trying to make her happy, lough, make her life easier than being by herself.
And if I couldnt make it, then its fine, Itll be my responsibility to keep up GOOD friendship between us...
if i could, then lets say... make her pussy wet, not her eyes, hehe.
Making effort on getting her is not bad I guess.
Just, dont make something else sadder.
Thats the most important thing I have to be careful of.
I made freakin big mistake and messed up all relationship including friendship off course...
but fortunately, I still have friends and they are pretty cool and great and chill, cool, sexy, wonderful, fantastic, and whatever I complement them.
I appreciate them a lot and still have chances to get someone to love and friends to hang out.
and I have bunch of nice friends already.
what I want to say is...
ppl go wrong anyways.
They make a lot of mistakes and lose a lot of things like friends, friendship, relatives, boy or girlfriends.
But we will not lose our chance to make everything up again.
There's still possibility that you can fix the problem. or, fix the everything you lost.
And you wont lose the possibility forever, its called hope.
You might not be able to fix them off course.
It happens. However,
do not get sad because you will not forget what you did and if you would do such things again, you will lose important ppl for you again and you are enough to learn that from what happened a year ago.
So, yeah.
Do not get depressed if you got rejected.
but, do not get afraid of getting girl.
just go for it, everything will be fine.
I can make everything turn out fine.
I got strong on that :p
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay! i got my test score back!!!!!!!!!!
that was my first exam at ucla which i prepared for....
and....
I got 96 out of 100!!!!!!!!!!!!! f yes!!!!!!!!!!111111111111
my rank was 46 out of 400, its not bad at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank god! I love my life!!!!
Ill do my best so that i can love my life more! yeaaaaassssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
okay! i got my test score back!!!!!!!!!!
that was my first exam at ucla which i prepared for....
and....
I got 96 out of 100!!!!!!!!!!!!! f yes!!!!!!!!!!111111111111
my rank was 46 out of 400, its not bad at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank god! I love my life!!!!
Ill do my best so that i can love my life more! yeaaaaassssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
So yeah...
I started dating with her, and its kinda getting serious... I mean, I gotta be more strict than before since I got one fact from her Lets say, I have to try my best literally without compromising since I might be the first guy in her life.
U know, it's really heavy... not in a bad way totally, and im not complaining about that. I feel honor if I became her one. But, what I meant Heavy is I gotta have responsibility for making her happy and not letting her down. I want to make her first love the best even if we broke up in future. I won't let future to end up like that of course.
She doesn't know what is like true "relationship," so there's a choice that I could brainwash her as if wrong relationship is true one everyone experiences. That's just a bullshit, and I don wanna be such stupid and horrible guy. Its just like cruel terrible very motherfuker. If I did that kind of shitty bullshit, I will kill myself for sure. At that time, I no longer have any respect and dignity as a human beings and will admit that I am same kind of human as serial killers or crazily bad people or whatever kinds of people who will go to the hell no doubt.
Itll be tough that I will not take advantage of the dating since... she doesnt have experience for dating stuff.
I strongly do not want to screw up everything. I really like everyone here. I got scary by my own self, to be honest i feel that i might or will fuck all relationships up and be alone again.
I got hunch that this is the very last chance of dating in my life. I will not screw anything up, will control myself and become mature more than anybody so I can make her ONLY happy. I like her to be happy only.
OK LETS DO IT! I can do it, that's just a piece of cake man!
I started dating with her, and its kinda getting serious... I mean, I gotta be more strict than before since I got one fact from her Lets say, I have to try my best literally without compromising since I might be the first guy in her life.
U know, it's really heavy... not in a bad way totally, and im not complaining about that. I feel honor if I became her one. But, what I meant Heavy is I gotta have responsibility for making her happy and not letting her down. I want to make her first love the best even if we broke up in future. I won't let future to end up like that of course.
She doesn't know what is like true "relationship," so there's a choice that I could brainwash her as if wrong relationship is true one everyone experiences. That's just a bullshit, and I don wanna be such stupid and horrible guy. Its just like cruel terrible very motherfuker. If I did that kind of shitty bullshit, I will kill myself for sure. At that time, I no longer have any respect and dignity as a human beings and will admit that I am same kind of human as serial killers or crazily bad people or whatever kinds of people who will go to the hell no doubt.
Itll be tough that I will not take advantage of the dating since... she doesnt have experience for dating stuff.
I strongly do not want to screw up everything. I really like everyone here. I got scary by my own self, to be honest i feel that i might or will fuck all relationships up and be alone again.
I got hunch that this is the very last chance of dating in my life. I will not screw anything up, will control myself and become mature more than anybody so I can make her ONLY happy. I like her to be happy only.
OK LETS DO IT! I can do it, that's just a piece of cake man!
from ucla, im about to study but im playing with laptop now... only now, in 10 mins ill start studying.
Maybe because of sleepless, cuz im tired, i don have any confidence on myself and got scared of breaking up with her... lol too fast to feel that way, but idk, idk wat she thinks about. that makes me nervous and anxious.
What I can do is just keep up myself and being her great boyfriend, but if i failed, then... I will have nothing. Lets say, I will loose everything in future. Thats so sad and... miserable since Ive already experienced such thin and learned how my friends are important, but I loose everything again? Stupid and... just useless as a human beings. so...
I like her a lot, but to anchor her mind to me, I have to keep up everything, work harder, be nice to not only her but also everybody, and so on so on. Im still weak. I guess because im tired and sleepy, i feel negatively and have a negative outlook on life now. Its temporary and I hope Im thinking that shit only now. just now. I feel anxiety...
Maybe because of sleepless, cuz im tired, i don have any confidence on myself and got scared of breaking up with her... lol too fast to feel that way, but idk, idk wat she thinks about. that makes me nervous and anxious.
What I can do is just keep up myself and being her great boyfriend, but if i failed, then... I will have nothing. Lets say, I will loose everything in future. Thats so sad and... miserable since Ive already experienced such thin and learned how my friends are important, but I loose everything again? Stupid and... just useless as a human beings. so...
I like her a lot, but to anchor her mind to me, I have to keep up everything, work harder, be nice to not only her but also everybody, and so on so on. Im still weak. I guess because im tired and sleepy, i feel negatively and have a negative outlook on life now. Its temporary and I hope Im thinking that shit only now. just now. I feel anxiety...
u know, its too early to talk about marriage in future while you r going out for less than half year...
yeah, thats not good at all, its too early, just rushing and feeling heat, or being blind or....
Yeah, anyways u cant think of a lot of elements might makes you feel like SHIT during you r with her or him.
I think they all are pretty right. I agree with it and admit it.
But I cant stop thinking of that with my gf right now since she is perfect for meeeee
She's totally perfect, my ideal gf and i think if i loose her then i wont be able to get better gf than her.
Hence I will try to do my best.
Btw, I wanna suggest my idea about a cheating.
one told me that cheating is different meaning for man and woman. In terms of biology, it makes sense and I agree with that, but this time i ignore theory cuz I will talk about why they cheat regardless of gender.
I would say, cheating is caused from complaint towards one's bf or gf such as appearance or characteristics or status.
We cant complain even if our partner cheated on you. They have discontent regarding to your frailty. If you are not as cool or cute, gentle or kind, wealthy and eminent as others, your partner has enough possibility to cheat on you.
Do you think the cheating is their fault? If so, what I would say to you is... "looser."
One thing we gotta understand is that they also got attracted by others even if they are in relationships. If you want to believe them, that is totally fine, we have to trust our partner. However, we cannot depends on their faith, cant believe in the word "trust" blindly, cant swallow their power of faith. it is not unlimited and can become zero.
In some situations, we can loose the power of faith your partner has. If you were not attractive as others, If you were not gentle or kind as others, If you were not funny as others... and also you did not even care about your imperfection, then your partner would loose the power and eventually... you know.
One might say,
"If they cheat because of our hole, I don care since the person was not enough to be my partner."
Yeah, cheating is not good. But if you say so, let's give you fair word in stead of cheating which is....
Get dumped.
If you don care... then youll be dumped and its the fair result of what u've done.
U might wonder for who I am writing this... just in case i will tell you before u wonder,
I am writing this big shits for myself, and I am scared of getting dumped by her everyday.
But because I think so, I won't stop trying my best all the time.
So yeah, that's what Ive been thinking recently.
yeah, thats not good at all, its too early, just rushing and feeling heat, or being blind or....
Yeah, anyways u cant think of a lot of elements might makes you feel like SHIT during you r with her or him.
I think they all are pretty right. I agree with it and admit it.
But I cant stop thinking of that with my gf right now since she is perfect for meeeee
She's totally perfect, my ideal gf and i think if i loose her then i wont be able to get better gf than her.
Hence I will try to do my best.
Btw, I wanna suggest my idea about a cheating.
one told me that cheating is different meaning for man and woman. In terms of biology, it makes sense and I agree with that, but this time i ignore theory cuz I will talk about why they cheat regardless of gender.
I would say, cheating is caused from complaint towards one's bf or gf such as appearance or characteristics or status.
We cant complain even if our partner cheated on you. They have discontent regarding to your frailty. If you are not as cool or cute, gentle or kind, wealthy and eminent as others, your partner has enough possibility to cheat on you.
Do you think the cheating is their fault? If so, what I would say to you is... "looser."
One thing we gotta understand is that they also got attracted by others even if they are in relationships. If you want to believe them, that is totally fine, we have to trust our partner. However, we cannot depends on their faith, cant believe in the word "trust" blindly, cant swallow their power of faith. it is not unlimited and can become zero.
In some situations, we can loose the power of faith your partner has. If you were not attractive as others, If you were not gentle or kind as others, If you were not funny as others... and also you did not even care about your imperfection, then your partner would loose the power and eventually... you know.
One might say,
"If they cheat because of our hole, I don care since the person was not enough to be my partner."
Yeah, cheating is not good. But if you say so, let's give you fair word in stead of cheating which is....
Get dumped.
If you don care... then youll be dumped and its the fair result of what u've done.
U might wonder for who I am writing this... just in case i will tell you before u wonder,
I am writing this big shits for myself, and I am scared of getting dumped by her everyday.
But because I think so, I won't stop trying my best all the time.
So yeah, that's what Ive been thinking recently.
I think Im abnormally lucky today.... I think I forgot locking my car from the day i got a car accident and noticed that someone just stole a music device and cds and everything I had in my car.
Most important thing was i just left my passport in my car and he stole that too.
So I got really depressed and regret putting that in my car, but anyways, I tried to fix everything... after I called japanese consulate, i checked my e-mail and found the e-mail from MiraCosta college saying Japanese consulate have my passport.
I wonder why they have one since mine is just stolen. i called the officer, and he told me that a guy got arrested and he had my passport. Now I gotta go to police department to get my passport and give them information why he had one...
I got bad thing because of my careless, but... I cant believe this can happen lol Thanks to god and LA police.
Most important thing was i just left my passport in my car and he stole that too.
So I got really depressed and regret putting that in my car, but anyways, I tried to fix everything... after I called japanese consulate, i checked my e-mail and found the e-mail from MiraCosta college saying Japanese consulate have my passport.
I wonder why they have one since mine is just stolen. i called the officer, and he told me that a guy got arrested and he had my passport. Now I gotta go to police department to get my passport and give them information why he had one...
I got bad thing because of my careless, but... I cant believe this can happen lol Thanks to god and LA police.
FFFMMMMMMMLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL and Fuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/10/jenelle-potter-facebook-fight_n_1266844.html
you blocked me on facebook, now you are going to die
FUUUUUUUUCK my mid was so bad, bad as hell and shit, im so uckin annoyed by that since Im the one didnt study a lot and i don deserve to get good grade for the classes im taking now, its fuckin annnoyign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/10/jenelle-potter-facebook-fight_n_1266844.html
you blocked me on facebook, now you are going to die
FUUUUUUUUCK my mid was so bad, bad as hell and shit, im so uckin annoyed by that since Im the one didnt study a lot and i don deserve to get good grade for the classes im taking now, its fuckin annnoyign!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Speaking generally,
The events we hold yesterday was really nice. Lots of ppl came there and... hope everyone enjoyed.
We have bunch of things to talk and solve, but I am really glad that the event succeeded.
Again, there are bunch of problems including me, but I hope everyone can solve it.
of course i gotta study too tho
The events we hold yesterday was really nice. Lots of ppl came there and... hope everyone enjoyed.
We have bunch of things to talk and solve, but I am really glad that the event succeeded.
Again, there are bunch of problems including me, but I hope everyone can solve it.
of course i gotta study too tho
Yeah, second girlfriend in the us was gone already, She dumped me and I got really sad... but...
You know, basically wat i was feeling was like " man, I cant babysit her anymore, I have tons of shit to do."
So, yeah... There's strong sadness cuz of missing her but lost her already, but at the same time I understand that I wont be able to do anything with her... for job hunting too. Especially I am looking for the job in Japan and itll be really hard, hard work, so I wont be able to make any time for her to hung out either.
Bunch of excuses... You know, but even after I broke up with her, I got depressed cuz of these shits I gotta do. Speackin generally, I am saying that was not my fault lol
Our position and situation was totally different, and I couldnt take the lil girl who need her boyfriend to take care, in another word, babysit her.
You know, basically wat i was feeling was like " man, I cant babysit her anymore, I have tons of shit to do."
So, yeah... There's strong sadness cuz of missing her but lost her already, but at the same time I understand that I wont be able to do anything with her... for job hunting too. Especially I am looking for the job in Japan and itll be really hard, hard work, so I wont be able to make any time for her to hung out either.
Bunch of excuses... You know, but even after I broke up with her, I got depressed cuz of these shits I gotta do. Speackin generally, I am saying that was not my fault lol
Our position and situation was totally different, and I couldnt take the lil girl who need her boyfriend to take care, in another word, babysit her.
deep inside, I want to respect my feeling like "it is wrong." And I cannot bend that feeling unless I bend my creed and life experiences Ive been through. Basically, my creeds are not wrong because it is based on my experiences, and for me it is truth of the life, but...
The thing is, I have to learn how to tell those things to my future lover. I chose the way that just put up with and do not say anything. Eventually, it went extremely bad since nothing changed and just killing myself too.
If one cant understand me, then I have to choose the way to leaving away from those ppl like I left jsa.
It is really important for both of us, me and her, to understand.
I need myself to get experience to dump those kind of ppl.
That was not running away. I just respect and follow myself. I do not want to bend myself, and eventually jsa wont work in the future... well, it will but I don just like how the jsa style is lol well, I don care about it just do not need any connection with them.
Ah human beings, Some ppl are really amazing as heaven, but some ppl are really shitty as hell.
I understand thats how the world is.
The thing is, I have to learn how to tell those things to my future lover. I chose the way that just put up with and do not say anything. Eventually, it went extremely bad since nothing changed and just killing myself too.
If one cant understand me, then I have to choose the way to leaving away from those ppl like I left jsa.
It is really important for both of us, me and her, to understand.
I need myself to get experience to dump those kind of ppl.
That was not running away. I just respect and follow myself. I do not want to bend myself, and eventually jsa wont work in the future... well, it will but I don just like how the jsa style is lol well, I don care about it just do not need any connection with them.
Ah human beings, Some ppl are really amazing as heaven, but some ppl are really shitty as hell.
I understand thats how the world is.
- mixiユーザー
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