professional poet no kataga... watashi no ballet o mite poem o kaikimashita. ichiou jibun de English ni yakushita nodesuga... yahari "poem" to iunowa.. muzukashii monode... iro iro na minasan no poem teki "hyougen"/"yaku" kikitai to omoimasu...! dekireba German-English ga iinodesuga.. German-Japanese demo o.k. desu (amari kanji ga ooito... yomemasen ga...) umaku poem tekini yakushite itadake naideshouka...??
☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆
Wie eine Primaballerina
Voller Anmut schwebt sie leise
In den golddurchwirkten Saal
Trifft auf traeumerische Weise
Seelenleicht der Schritte Wahl
Wiegt in Taenzerischer Pose
Laechelnd bald zu Mitte sich
Spuert den Duft der Himmerlsrose
Zart zerbrechlich ewiglich
Hebt den Blick zum Abendsterne
Losgeloest von Zeit und Raum
Sinkt herab aus weiter Ferne
Und vergeht in tiefem Traum
"Kellie gewidmet"
☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆
☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆
Wie eine Primaballerina
Voller Anmut schwebt sie leise
In den golddurchwirkten Saal
Trifft auf traeumerische Weise
Seelenleicht der Schritte Wahl
Wiegt in Taenzerischer Pose
Laechelnd bald zu Mitte sich
Spuert den Duft der Himmerlsrose
Zart zerbrechlich ewiglich
Hebt den Blick zum Abendsterne
Losgeloest von Zeit und Raum
Sinkt herab aus weiter Ferne
Und vergeht in tiefem Traum
"Kellie gewidmet"
☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆
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コメント(10)
まあ、詩の訳は難しいとか完璧なニュアンスは伝えられないとか言ってるだけじゃ先に進まないので、ものすごく無謀なことは承知で、自分自身の勉強も兼ねてちょっと英語にしてみました。
正直なところ、自分でもそれほど納得いく出来じゃないので（「だったら書くな」なんて言わないでね）、自分だったらこうする！というアイディアがある方はぜひ後に続いてください。
久しぶりにドイツ語と取り組んだので誤訳などの指摘歓迎します。
Like a Prima Donna
With full grace she soars
In the gold-knitted hall
Like a dream she treads
Lightly chosen steps of soul
Moves in the dancer's pose
With smile to center quickly
Senses fume of heaven's rose
Gentle and fragile in eternity
Gazes at the evening stars
Spirited away in time and room
From high far she sinks
And dwells in deep dream
正直なところ、自分でもそれほど納得いく出来じゃないので（「だったら書くな」なんて言わないでね）、自分だったらこうする！というアイディアがある方はぜひ後に続いてください。
久しぶりにドイツ語と取り組んだので誤訳などの指摘歓迎します。
Like a Prima Donna
With full grace she soars
In the gold-knitted hall
Like a dream she treads
Lightly chosen steps of soul
Moves in the dancer's pose
With smile to center quickly
Senses fume of heaven's rose
Gentle and fragile in eternity
Gazes at the evening stars
Spirited away in time and room
From high far she sinks
And dwells in deep dream
>oldnick & steffen san
ja... ich verstehe. Poem war sehr schoen,... ich wollte einfach auch... auf Englisch geniessen. Thank you for your considerations....!
>yasu san
Thank you for trying...! I understood these poem in German bits and pieces... but.. I just wanted to see.. "someone can do a better job for me..?!?! Put everything together..?!?!" As oldinick & steffen san said..., may be I should just leave the way it is...? to preserve the beauty of the "poem"... But of course, any other people who might want to try... would be nice...!
ja... ich verstehe. Poem war sehr schoen,... ich wollte einfach auch... auf Englisch geniessen. Thank you for your considerations....!
>yasu san
Thank you for trying...! I understood these poem in German bits and pieces... but.. I just wanted to see.. "someone can do a better job for me..?!?! Put everything together..?!?!" As oldinick & steffen san said..., may be I should just leave the way it is...? to preserve the beauty of the "poem"... But of course, any other people who might want to try... would be nice...!
>oldnick san
Ich denke, ich war nicht ganz klar was ich habe von Ihnen erwartet.
My intension should have been... NOT making deutchen Gedicht into English poem, but simply translating German poem into English/Japanese "explanations", not necessary poem form. Probably, it would have been better and easier.
Another purpose was... my Japanese friend wanted to read this German poem. She prefers Japanese, but English would be o.k. as well thus... this was also the reason I decided to ask everyone. "Two heads are better than one", right..? I DO have a clear idea/meaning of this "beautiful poem" (not in English "poem" form), but I just wanted to ask what other people think.
You guys study Chinese poem (kanbun/kobun..?!) in schools and translate them, try to understand what the author was trying to say hundreds of years ago, correct..? I know.. a "word" normally contains more than one meaning... = "you have to see ballet to understand the true meaning of the poem/what the poet was trying to say".... yes, of course, I agree... but... I just thought it would be possible to hear different prospectives of this poem from different people. I appreciate your opinion, though. Thanks...!
Ich denke, ich war nicht ganz klar was ich habe von Ihnen erwartet.
My intension should have been... NOT making deutchen Gedicht into English poem, but simply translating German poem into English/Japanese "explanations", not necessary poem form. Probably, it would have been better and easier.
Another purpose was... my Japanese friend wanted to read this German poem. She prefers Japanese, but English would be o.k. as well thus... this was also the reason I decided to ask everyone. "Two heads are better than one", right..? I DO have a clear idea/meaning of this "beautiful poem" (not in English "poem" form), but I just wanted to ask what other people think.
You guys study Chinese poem (kanbun/kobun..?!) in schools and translate them, try to understand what the author was trying to say hundreds of years ago, correct..? I know.. a "word" normally contains more than one meaning... = "you have to see ballet to understand the true meaning of the poem/what the poet was trying to say".... yes, of course, I agree... but... I just thought it would be possible to hear different prospectives of this poem from different people. I appreciate your opinion, though. Thanks...!
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