☆ENGLISH ONLY☆コミュのXmas+Japan+Japanese guy

I know that xmas is different in Japan than the states. I have never really worried about the difference before because I had just friends, but this year I have a potential love interest. I don't really know where our relationship stands, it's complicated. We're in that little gap between dating and a couple where neither person is ready to say anything directly. We both know the other person has some interest but neither person knows how much, and we are both playing those stupid little flirty games to poke around the bushes for information. He has mentioned meeting for xmas but there is no concrete plan until he gets his work schedule.

So my question is...do I get him something? What do I get him? I don't even know what I would do in this situation if he was american, much less Japanese.

It always sucks if one person gets something for someone but the other didn't get anything. I want him to know that I like him as more than a friend and am interested in him, but at the same time I don't want him to think I think we are already a couple because we aren't quite there yet. Also if I get him something should I do it the american way or Japanese way? I would like to do it the japanese way to accommodate him and show him I care about his customs since he is always accommodating me (speaking english, worrying about my holidays and customs etc.) But I have also heard people get a bit taken aback when a foreigner does something japanese. So would it be nice for him or would it cross the line and freak him out a bit? Also if I did it the japanese way what kind of thing would I get him? We are in Japan, if that makes any difference?

コメント(17)

最初
全て
最新の40件

[1] mixiユーザー 12月06日 04:42

Dangit. I wrote a long response and then my browser crashed.

My point was pretty much "don't sweat it. Get him whatever you like",
with the suggestion that Playsation 3 might be a bit much, きのこの山
might be a bit underwhelming, and a scarf might be just right. I also
wrote about sharing of cultures, blah blah blah..

And of course, never give a gift with the expectation of receiving one.
But, I suppose that goes without saying...

[2] mixiユーザー 12月06日 04:56

Thanks for your response!
Ugh I hate when I type something long and it crashes!

[3] mixiユーザー 12月06日 09:57

Christmas is a very couples-oriented thing in Japan, in my experience. I've never really known Japanese people to pay much attention to the gift-giving part. I think your dinner plans on Christmas Eve are more important than your gift plans - if he wants to do something date-ish on the 24th, which is traditionally the big date night, it's a sure bet he's serious.

If you want to get a gift, go with something small but meaningful.

[4] mixiユーザー 12月06日 22:45

^hmm i see...thanks!

[5] mixiユーザー 12月06日 23:23

Whenever a friend has asked me what i want as a present from japan i say PS3 or a Wii!

but seriously, if there is something in particular you think he might like, a nice gift is good.

[6] mixiユーザー 12月07日 00:07

I'm Japanese so I think I might be of help.
I don't think gifts are necessary, esp if you are a girl.
He might get you something...but I'm sure he wouldn't be expecting anything back from you.
But if you still want to get him something, get him something really small.
I think the best present for him on Christmas would be for you to get really dressed up and pretty.
Good luck!

[7] mixiユーザー 12月07日 00:29

i agree. sumin small and cool. depending what he likes.

or get a cake... japanese people eat cake and KFC on christmas eve... i'm japanese and i still don't get it...

anyway look smokin and get ready for a romantic evening

or just give him condoms. he should get it.

just jokin

or am i lol.

[8] mixiユーザー 12月07日 00:32

Thanks everyone...

I am still thinking about it, but it seems alot of people say small or nothing. Look forward to hearing more opinions

[9] mixiユーザー 12月07日 02:06

Speaking as a guy, on behalf of all guys, the best Christmas present is obviously to get yourself all oiled up and nekkid for a night of hot gratuitous sexification. I'm not saying that's necessarily best in your situation, I'm just trying to get that idea out there so it'll percolate. Tell your friends.

Just sayin'.

[10] mixiユーザー 12月12日 03:05

dude....

[11] mixiユーザー 12月12日 18:56

well it seems like I don't have to worry now because he sounds like hes not interested in doing anything, at-least with me. He asked if I was doing anything on xmas, and I was like "no, no one asked me to do anything" and he was like "hmm yeah I'll probably just stay home"

[12] mixiユーザー 12月12日 19:29

Personally, I think all us Mixi folks are going to be pretty disappointed if you don't casually suggest that the two of you go out and do something. If the "japanese guys and gaijin girls" thread has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that we must all seize the day and the opportunity to win the chance to blah blah, et cetera, et cetera.

If he acts hesitant, you can always pull the "gee, where I come from, it's very normal for casual friends like us to hang out on Christmas" sort of line.

[13] mixiユーザー 12月12日 19:41

Yeah...just cowboy up (err...cowgirl) and ask said fella to go have a drink with you.
If you really wanna give him the stunner get him something small, little gift and give it really casually while you two hang out.
Anyway its better than watching a SMAP christmas special alone at home either way...

[14] mixiユーザー 12月12日 19:49

Okay okay! I'll ask him.
I just went back and read my post from when I was more confident and where I was like BE ASSERTIVE! Perhaps I need to get a BE ASSERTIVE! poster and hang it in my room.

[15] mixiユーザー 12月12日 23:39

I agree with the above posters. be assertive, ask him out, with the excuse that it's a normal thing back home, and dress up pretty for him. I also think a gift might not be necessary, but if you do give something, I also agree that something small is best. Presents too big at an early stage just send a signal that the other person is a little bit too desperate to impress her love interest.

Good luck, and hope Xmas will be kind to you both :)

[16] mixiユーザー 12月13日 04:59

Assertive is the best thing you can be. If I were you, I'd walk up to him and let him know how you feel. Believe me, what is the worst that he can say? No? That's not bad, because you had the guts to go out and say how you felt. Bebio said everything that I wanted to say, so for me to reiterate would be repetitive.

[17] mixiユーザー 12月13日 05:40

haha. I don't know exactly what to get him, but I do love the description of how you guys interact.

I'd recommend just asking what he thinks. If it's too straightforward a question, then just claim innocent cause you didn'tk now the culture.

ログインすると、みんなのコメントがもっと見れるよ