one day via internet chat, i was talking to my friend who is a japanese girl and lives in new zealand now. we talked about her boyfriend there and stuff like that. i asked her which one of them started off with the steady relationship. i thought there must have been some important clear remark that she or her boyfriend made to make sure that they like each other and that should allow themselves to go steady. we know that sort of ritual-like custom as KOKUHAKU.
so i asked who made KOKUHAKU. and she said they both didnt. i was first confused a little bit but soon realized there would be very few cases of KOKUHAKU there or that kind of dialog might be even a very unique costom of japanese society.
she said she didnt know when they started to go steady in the JAPANESE POINT OF VIEW that she had in japan. she said they start liking each other and soon get involved in what people in love do. without KOKUHAKU they became lovers. she said KOKUHAKU isnt very important because people in love can feel, without words, that they like each other very much and want to become lovers.
yea i can understand what she claimed, but i dont agree with that... well, because...
i personally feel obliged to make KOKUHAKU for some reasons. i want a sort of conviction of the girl's affectionate feeling towards me as well as her permission that i can be her lover. otherwise i cant even hold her hand!! and i also want to assure her that i care about her deeply. i do that because i feel, in most cases, girls want me to do so. and after i make KOKUHAKU, the girl looks very happy and shows me the most beautiful face that i have ever seen!
i think KOKUHAKU is important.
so what do you folks think about this issue?
these question might help. please pick and answer if you like any of them.
1. do you think KOKUHAKU is a japanese unique custom?
2. do you think KOKUHAKU is important for lovers? why?
3. do you make KOKUHAKU? why?
4. do you want your boyfriend or girl friend make KOKUHAKU for you? why?
5. do you know the specific and exact english terms for KOKUHAKU? if you do, please tell me.
thanks.
so i asked who made KOKUHAKU. and she said they both didnt. i was first confused a little bit but soon realized there would be very few cases of KOKUHAKU there or that kind of dialog might be even a very unique costom of japanese society.
she said she didnt know when they started to go steady in the JAPANESE POINT OF VIEW that she had in japan. she said they start liking each other and soon get involved in what people in love do. without KOKUHAKU they became lovers. she said KOKUHAKU isnt very important because people in love can feel, without words, that they like each other very much and want to become lovers.
yea i can understand what she claimed, but i dont agree with that... well, because...
i personally feel obliged to make KOKUHAKU for some reasons. i want a sort of conviction of the girl's affectionate feeling towards me as well as her permission that i can be her lover. otherwise i cant even hold her hand!! and i also want to assure her that i care about her deeply. i do that because i feel, in most cases, girls want me to do so. and after i make KOKUHAKU, the girl looks very happy and shows me the most beautiful face that i have ever seen!
i think KOKUHAKU is important.
so what do you folks think about this issue?
these question might help. please pick and answer if you like any of them.
1. do you think KOKUHAKU is a japanese unique custom?
2. do you think KOKUHAKU is important for lovers? why?
3. do you make KOKUHAKU? why?
4. do you want your boyfriend or girl friend make KOKUHAKU for you? why?
5. do you know the specific and exact english terms for KOKUHAKU? if you do, please tell me.
thanks.
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コメント(12)
ahh, this is kinda sweet, heh . . . personally, I think I know exactly what you mean about kokuhaku, but I have no idea that there's a word for it in english . . . to answer your questions, I don't think its uniquely japanese - we don't have aword for it in english maybe, but a lot of people still do that sort of thing. I don't know if its important or not . . . I mean, it depends on the people... if they're espiecially neurotic and need to know how the other person feels, then yeah, its important, but if not they can get along just like your friend did I imagine. as for me . . . yeah, cause I'm actually a real neurotic type of person, I suppose I eventually do do "kokuhaku" . . . which is interesting in a way cause I think I would prefer the sort of relationship where you don't need to . . . what I mean is, I'd like a kind of relationship where I can just feel and trust the other person implicitly, but up till now I haven't had that. so thats my opinion I suppose...
Hi there,
I think it’s important, too. The most reason that I think so is I just don’t want to misunderstand and don’t want somebody to misunderstand. If people can start their relationship without any words and both of them understand it appropriately, maybe that sounds sweet. However, there is not only that kind of patterns. I mean, for instance, there are some people who can get easily involved in deep relationship with men/women and what is worse they have several lovers at the same time. I just personally don’t like that kind of thing. I think sometimes love feeling has such power to make everything look good. On the other hand, words have that power to make people convinced. Not everybody has the same thought for the relationship between men and women so that I think words (KOKUHAKU in this case) can help to make it clear.
I think it’s important, too. The most reason that I think so is I just don’t want to misunderstand and don’t want somebody to misunderstand. If people can start their relationship without any words and both of them understand it appropriately, maybe that sounds sweet. However, there is not only that kind of patterns. I mean, for instance, there are some people who can get easily involved in deep relationship with men/women and what is worse they have several lovers at the same time. I just personally don’t like that kind of thing. I think sometimes love feeling has such power to make everything look good. On the other hand, words have that power to make people convinced. Not everybody has the same thought for the relationship between men and women so that I think words (KOKUHAKU in this case) can help to make it clear.
I have heard that story, too. It might be my host father in New Zealand who told me it. So perhaps New Zealanders do not need KOKUHAKU. However, I think KOKUHAKU is important; I will try to answer the question no. 2.
Going out with the opposite sex (I assume most cases) whom you love is a kind of agreement between the two of you. KOKUHAKU makes the agreement activated. As Hana-san said, it can prevent you somehow from misunderstanding.
The act of KOKUHAKU can also give you a chance to think of the other person. Until you tell the person that you love her/him, you may think of them everyday and get excited and at the same time anxious. Although you want to tell immediately that you love her/him, instead, you postpone KOKUHAKU with an excuse of that the day after would be better or something. This is a sort of sweet memory; recalling this memory may let you think of her/him as someone more important or special to you.
I have been thinking this topic since Yakiudon-Z-san gave these questions. I still cannot find correct words to express what I think; I will add something if I find some.
Thank you.
Minoru
Going out with the opposite sex (I assume most cases) whom you love is a kind of agreement between the two of you. KOKUHAKU makes the agreement activated. As Hana-san said, it can prevent you somehow from misunderstanding.
The act of KOKUHAKU can also give you a chance to think of the other person. Until you tell the person that you love her/him, you may think of them everyday and get excited and at the same time anxious. Although you want to tell immediately that you love her/him, instead, you postpone KOKUHAKU with an excuse of that the day after would be better or something. This is a sort of sweet memory; recalling this memory may let you think of her/him as someone more important or special to you.
I have been thinking this topic since Yakiudon-Z-san gave these questions. I still cannot find correct words to express what I think; I will add something if I find some.
Thank you.
Minoru
yea, i also think KOKUHAKU is very exciting. you know why? i would say when KOKUHAKU is made successfully, i get "high" or spirutual uplift in a sense. its wonderful to get high withiout taking any hazardous drug. hahaha.
KOKUHAKU we, some japanese, do is kinda ritual or too formal. thats party why western people dont like this or dont think its importnat maybe?
KOKUHAKU we, some japanese, do is kinda ritual or too formal. thats party why western people dont like this or dont think its importnat maybe?
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