皆さんは国際恋して、どんな問題・誤解などが起こった？それは何のために起こったと思いますか？分析しましょう☆彡
What problems or misunderstandings occured with your foreign partner? Why does everyone think they happened? Let's analyze!
自分から始めます：
昔の日本人の彼氏は会ったときはフリーターだったけど、いつの間にか空港で就職した。空港で働くのは彼の夢だったし、私も応援したけど、そのため結構忙しくなって、私が会いたかったほど会えなくなった。そこで私はまだ日本の文化を充分に理解しなかったから、「会いたい！会いたい！」って言い繰り返して、彼が遅刻したとき怒ったりしちゃって結構圧力かけたのでしょう。それがしばらく続いたら、彼は連絡とらなくなった。
なんか今それについて考えると、ヨーロッパなどの人なら、「会いたい！会いたい！」って言われても平気です。逆に、愛の証拠だと思います。でも兎に角自分の時間が作られます。でも日本人だったら相手がずっと「会いたい、会いたい」っていったら、いつの間にか罪悪感がたまって、相手を満足できないなーって思ってしまって、そういう関係って難しいすぎだなって思って、逃げてしまうことになっちゃうんじゃないかって考えます。ま、人はそれぞれなんだけど、少なくともその人とはそうだったなーと思います。
この分析であってると皆さん思いますか？
Same in English:
I'll start with myself: I used to date a Japanese guy who was a freeter when we met. But somewhen he got employed at an airport as a sort of "kaishain", and as this had been his dream I tried to be supportive of it. Only, he got really busy through this, and I always wanted to meet him more than he could and told him "I want to meet you" a lot. It seems to me now that this had been a lot of pressure to him. Also he was late a lot and I was mad at him because of this. Somewhen he just stopped contacting me or accepting my calls ... :-(
Looking at this now, it seems that I shouldn't have cast so much pressure on him... if it was a European guy, he'd probably appreciated my "I want to meet more" as a sign that I loved him, and still been able to take time for himself. But maybe Japanese, or at least this guy, felt as I voiced my wish to meet so often, it must have been really strong, and felt guilty cause he couldn't fulfill it. I probably should have been a bit more patient and try to think about what he wanted and needed instead of expecting him to tell me actively like a European guy would have...
What does everybody think about this analysis?
What problems or misunderstandings occured with your foreign partner? Why does everyone think they happened? Let's analyze!
自分から始めます：
昔の日本人の彼氏は会ったときはフリーターだったけど、いつの間にか空港で就職した。空港で働くのは彼の夢だったし、私も応援したけど、そのため結構忙しくなって、私が会いたかったほど会えなくなった。そこで私はまだ日本の文化を充分に理解しなかったから、「会いたい！会いたい！」って言い繰り返して、彼が遅刻したとき怒ったりしちゃって結構圧力かけたのでしょう。それがしばらく続いたら、彼は連絡とらなくなった。
なんか今それについて考えると、ヨーロッパなどの人なら、「会いたい！会いたい！」って言われても平気です。逆に、愛の証拠だと思います。でも兎に角自分の時間が作られます。でも日本人だったら相手がずっと「会いたい、会いたい」っていったら、いつの間にか罪悪感がたまって、相手を満足できないなーって思ってしまって、そういう関係って難しいすぎだなって思って、逃げてしまうことになっちゃうんじゃないかって考えます。ま、人はそれぞれなんだけど、少なくともその人とはそうだったなーと思います。
この分析であってると皆さん思いますか？
Same in English:
I'll start with myself: I used to date a Japanese guy who was a freeter when we met. But somewhen he got employed at an airport as a sort of "kaishain", and as this had been his dream I tried to be supportive of it. Only, he got really busy through this, and I always wanted to meet him more than he could and told him "I want to meet you" a lot. It seems to me now that this had been a lot of pressure to him. Also he was late a lot and I was mad at him because of this. Somewhen he just stopped contacting me or accepting my calls ... :-(
Looking at this now, it seems that I shouldn't have cast so much pressure on him... if it was a European guy, he'd probably appreciated my "I want to meet more" as a sign that I loved him, and still been able to take time for himself. But maybe Japanese, or at least this guy, felt as I voiced my wish to meet so often, it must have been really strong, and felt guilty cause he couldn't fulfill it. I probably should have been a bit more patient and try to think about what he wanted and needed instead of expecting him to tell me actively like a European guy would have...
What does everybody think about this analysis?
|
|
|
|
コメント(7)
You should have been a little more patient maybe, but I definitely can understand your feelings. My Husband and I just got married so I came to stay with him (we were together in USA but now he got a job in Japan). At first, I was the same as you about him coming home so late. We just don't have to face these problems in USA (where I am from). The only time we think of men coming home late in USA is rare occasions where there is an important project OR when a man is with another woman. Also, a man in USA does not go out drinking after work unless he does not want to go home or again it is just on occasion. They are not such common occurences as everyday life in Japan.
Needless to say, I was really upset the first month. I could not be happy, but slowly I became happier when he came home at night, even if it was late. It just took some time to get used to.
Anyway, these days we are fine.
Some problems we have are about humor. Although comedy seems to be a masculine thing in USA or a rarity among women in USA, I love to joke, but my Husband does not like it. I mean, sometimes he laughs, but only when the joke is not about him.
Anyone else have problems with comedy??
I do love some Japanese comedians so I know there is humor in Japan that I like, but mostly, I do not find my Husband's jokes funny either. They don't make me mad, but I am the kind of person who cannot fake laughing. Therefore I just look like a jerk.
Needless to say, I was really upset the first month. I could not be happy, but slowly I became happier when he came home at night, even if it was late. It just took some time to get used to.
Anyway, these days we are fine.
Some problems we have are about humor. Although comedy seems to be a masculine thing in USA or a rarity among women in USA, I love to joke, but my Husband does not like it. I mean, sometimes he laughs, but only when the joke is not about him.
Anyone else have problems with comedy??
I do love some Japanese comedians so I know there is humor in Japan that I like, but mostly, I do not find my Husband's jokes funny either. They don't make me mad, but I am the kind of person who cannot fake laughing. Therefore I just look like a jerk.
- mixiユーザー
- ログインしてコメントしよう！
|
|
|
|
日本人の彼氏と外国人の彼女 更新情報
-
最新のイベント
-
まだ何もありません
-
-
最新のアンケート
-
まだ何もありません
-
