South DAkotaコミュのThings you need to know before you come to South Dakota

Issued by the South Dakota Tourism Bureau to ALL

visitors:



1. Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Al's Oasis. It's a diner.
They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something that they know.
If you upset the ladies in the kitchen, they will kick your ass.



2. Don't laugh at the names of our little towns (Wall, Murdo, Tea, Gayville,
etc.) or we will just have to kick your ass!



3. Don't order a bottle or a can of soda in South Dakota. Here it is call
pop . Accept it. Doing other wise can lead to an ass kicking.



4. We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you are. We are
also better educated and generally a lot nicer. Don't refer to us as a bunch
of rednecks or we'll kick your ass.



5. We have plenty of business sense. You have to make a living here. We may

sometimes have small lapses in judgement from time to time. But we are not
dumb enough to let someone move to our state in order to run for the Senate.
If someone tried to do that, we would kick their ass.



6. Don't laugh at out giant fiberglass cows and turtles made out of car
parts. Anything that inspires tourists to buy 250,000 postcards can't be
bad. When in Rapid City, don't point at the genitalia on the giant plastic
dinosaur or we'll kick your ass.



7. We are fully aware of how damn cold it gets here in the winter or how hot
it gets in the summer. So shut the hell up. Just spend your money and get
the hell out of here. Don't hog the space heater, or we will kick your ass.



8. Don't order the vegetarian special at the local diner. Everyone will know
instantly that you are a tourist. Eat your steak well done like God intended
and have some mashed potatoes and gravy with that! Don't ask what a hot dish
is or we'll kick your ass.



9. Don't try to fake a Dakota accent. We don't have an accent! Do NOT
mention the movie "Fargo" because that WASN'T us. That will incite a riot
and you will get your ass kicked.



10. Don't talk about how much better things are at home, because we know
better. Many of us have visited big city hell holes like Detroit, New York
and D.C. We have scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Interstate 90
is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked!!!



11. Don't complain that South Dakota is mostly flat and there aren't enough
trees. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, we'll kick your ass all the way
back to Baltimore.



12. Don't ridicule our mannerisms. We only speak when spoken to. We hold the
doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks because such things
are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little
gray-haired grandmothers or they will kick your ass, just like they did
ours.



13. So you think we're quaint or hicks because most of us live on the
prairie? That's because we have enough sense not to live in filthy, smelly,
crime infested cesspools like New York or LA. Make fun of our fresh air and
we'll kick your ass.



14. Writing "Sue Falls" is NOT cute. Your ass will be kicked.



15. Last, but not least: DO NOT DARE to come here and tell us how the
prairie should "go back to the buffalo." This will get your ass shot (right
after it is kicked). Mention this just once and you will go home in a pine
box. Minus your ass.



Now enjoy your visit and then go home.