Gaijin Japanese relationshipコミュのNIPPON JIN

Hi Nao, i think i know from somewhere??!! No??? hahahahah of course i know know and know you very well!!!!

i don t think Japanese girl are easy to pick up at all.
As you said because japanese girl are shy ( not you ;) ) that s is difficult to talk with.

I love my girlfriend, and it s not because she s japanese it s because i feel so Kimochi with her all the time and it s difficult for me to be far from her.

You asking about Good Point and Bad Point about japanese people, hmmmm let s see :

Good Point: POLITENESS,Kindness, they re helpfull, Hard workers ( too much maybe )...... plenty more good point but it will be too long!!!!!

Bad Point: like everywhere, they work too much, too many overtime. If it was me, i will have a chat with my boss about extra hours. i know it s normal in Japan, but we are only human, it s not only work work work, we have a life too ( leisure, family..... )

Hope you ll answer me quick

Atodene!!!!!

Humm, delicate topic, lets go by points.

The bigger point, Japanese girls are easy, well unfortunately a few are (most not) very very easy indeed, and those few give the whole a bad reputation. After having hear (and saw) a couple of stories I can understand very well that reputation.

Now good points and bad points of Japanese people (please keep in mind that these belong to my personal view towards the Japanese I have met up to date and in no way can be applied to everyone nor considered as a Japanese standard. Is just my viewpoint nothing more)

BAD:
- Extreme privacy, is arguable if this is a good or bad point. Most of the Japanese I have met are very uncomfortable to talk about personal matters, even more if they don't know you well. Sometimes is the 4th or 5th time I met a Japanese and I feel as if he is an stranger simply because I truly don't know much about him/her.

- Shy, this one is also arguable if is a good or bad point, is very cute on most of the cases, but Japanese shyness is strange, as in some situations where an American would turn red the Japanese don't even blink, and in other situations Japanese simply plain refuse something to say or do something getting even to the extend of causing trouble.

- Lack of leadership, this one I think is the most clear and evident, I can count with the fingers of one single hand the Japanese who would have leadership abilities. Very often when in a group of Japanese I ask what do you want to do, the answer I get nearly always is "what you wish to do?" if I ask which one you like? the answer "I'm not sure, and you?" This is not a real lack of leadership, is more the Japanese politeness where they don't wish to derange or cause trouble, then most often than not Japanese will simply show lack of personal choice and simply follow the group.

-Lack of imagination/lack of arguing power, I have put these 2 together even if they are not related together, they are somehow. I think that because of Japan education, Japanese are show never to argue and never to do things differently from the group. I have seen very few Japanese who show imagination to create, do art or simply tell stories and jokes. On the other hand, the individuals who get out of the norm and have imagination and creativity show a great quantity of it. Also if I start an argument with a Japanese individually the Japanese very often will have a hard time to defend his point, he has a difficult time to expose properly his points and build a good arguing. It doesn't mean they are easy to change their mind, simply they have a hard time to expose personal ideas and oppose those ideas or points to someone else points.

GOOD:
- Memory, is simply truly amazing how much better memory Japanese people display comparatively with American or European. Simply it can't be compared, just for fun, try the memory card game with an American, you will literally crush him. I guess this may be due to kanji learning process, you train for years your memory abilities.

-Easy of life, this one is difficult to explain but is a very important point. I have rarely argued with a Japanese, rarely discussed, they are very easy to be with, very comfortable in fact, I tried once to put aside my personal choices and ideas and simply follow the group, it was easy and somehow fun, there is a very interesting dynamic where no one choses anything, yet choices are done and things get on rolling smoothly. This one is something that I can't explain and you need to live it.

-One mind, one goal, Japanese people seem to put their mind into one single thing, but they put it totally. When I was in Japan I met this Japanese nurse, we went walk and later take a coffee, I tried plenty of subjects to talk with her, movies, books, computers, traveling, politics, geography, I was surprised how little she knew on most of the subjects and matters, then we fell on the medicine subject... I was crushed, with all her knowledge and studies on the medicine field I'm kind of sure she would have a doctor status in America, not a simple nurse. It happened the same again with a Japanese Programmer I met, he had done a similar career as me and had 4 years of experience just like me, when we started talking about programming it was easy to see he had a superior knowledge than me, I simply could follow up... until we touched other subjects...I feel Japanese have come to become very specialized in one single field, this is good and bad on itself. I think that on their specialty field Japanese show a higher skill and ability than their American or European counterparts. In exchange the American and European have become more multivalent.

-Endurance, last week I went to snowboard with a Quebec girl, she was starting to learn, so after an hour she felt 20 times and she was all in pain, she was complaining and asked to stop and go back home. This evening I went with a Japanese friend, she also felt several times, I asked if everything was okay, she said no problem and continued to do snowboard, we stayed the full evening and she just stopped at the very end. When returning back home she told me her back and ass were in pain and she felt very tired. The thing is the Japanese one stayed and did the complete evening. A Japanese simply doesn't quit not steps back, they achieve greater feats by pure plain endurance.

I have many other good and bad points, but I think this is a good beginning ;)

I forgot something,
GOOD:
-Team work/strength in the face of the enemy, when I was in Shodoshima I tried to practice arguing with some Japanese English class students. I sited individually with them and tried to do one on one discussion...It was terrible, they simply could not debate versus me or defend their points or ideas. Then We sited in a circle, I was with 10 Japanese, then I through maybe I can get them to discuss between them, then I brought a new topic and exposed a couple of my points, then the first one on the row throw a single weak point that was opposed to my point, the second one on the row did the same, the third one also exposed a point who was opposed to my point. Suddenly I was alone, there were 10 people all of them together throwing me opposing points, I had a hard time arguing as in the group there was not a single Japanese supporting nor my points nor ideas so they were all together bringing opposing points to mine. It was a very interesting experience indeed...

Filipe > The kimochi you experience is the easy of life point I tried to explain and that can't be explained, just lived.

by the way, my mother is a writer, she got her first book published recently... if I see the length of my wittings I guess I can say I'm her legitimate son...

Sorry to those not very proficient in English T_ T

thanks a lot guys!!!
and sorry to be late for answering.

>Philipe
as you wrote, japanese works too much actually. so some
have stressfull and hard life. its common in japan, but
getting better to change the labour laws little by little hopefully.
Yes! what you love your girlfriend doesnt matter which
nationality she has.Im very happy to hear that.


>Drake Coldwinter
Thanks a lot for writing such a long message!!
they are sooooooooooooo interesting for me. Im sure
your writing skil came from heredity.

in your opinions, about "discussion" is the most interesting for me. coz, i realize most of us are not good at discussing or arguing with other people at all. probably you can hear it`s like a excuse but since childhood we dont explain our feeling or opinions clearly but ambiguously,so i dont know how to discuss or argue actually .
its quite strange for you isnt it??

everyone has each opinion, so i cant deny or agree with. you know it depends on indivisual totally.
though i think so , just want to know how people in the world see japanese .
if i had never been to other countries, i didnt think about it. but now IM GAIJIN in AUSTRALIA so im very interested in it.


if you are so, please let me your thought!!

なお > You know, with time I have come to realize there is no perfect country nor perfect people. Now that you are in Australia learn not only about Australia, but about your own country and people, look back to Japan from outside and you will see things you haven't seen before. Learn to love it with his good and bad. Me I discovered many things about Spain once I was in Canada.

As for discussion I have seen several Japanese frustrated by this, simply because they simply deeply disagree with my comments but have a hard time to expose their points.

Enjoy your time in Aus and have fun ;)

I think that education plays a big role on the general abilities a population displays. For exemple, in Spain school we follow up art classes and drawing classes, we are show from small to paint and draw and make art. I see a high general painting and drawing skill in Spain people, at least an understanding of the bases. In Quebec I have met very few people who are able to properly draw...on the other hand near everyone in Quebec knows how to play a music instrument, so they show higher musical knowledge and abilities than Spanish. In Japan I see many people who know how to draw well, I guess that it's part of education also, because of writtig Kanji most Japanese have developped a high ability in drawing. On the other hand I have seen very few Japanese use their abilities in an artistic way (to do art actually) My guess is that because Japanese attach so much importance to work and career most of them are not encouraged to do art (which is world wide know as a poor's man career) this represents my point of lack of imagination of the Japanese.

In short, I don't believe the Japanese lack in imagination(art abilities), arguing ability or leadership, they posses those abilities, but are teached by society not to use them and not to display them. I guess sometimes it must feel very frustrating for Japanese to be restricted in such a way. I think this is what causes the rigid feeling of Japanese society and the freedom of choice feeled from other countries. In fact that freedom of choice feeled in American society comes only from the fact they don't care about what you do or not, they simply don't care about the path or things you do, on the other hand Japanese society is an overprotecting one.

As for Spain, I feel before it was more similar to Japanese, protecting his society members, but trying to let them have free choices, but in the last years it's taking too much of an american way of thinking...

Thank you for typing your comment, Drake Coldwinter!!
after writing my comment yesterday, I printed this topic out and considered myself and japanese objectively. This is a very good opotunity to know other countries people`s opinions(it doesnt matter whether they are personal view).

You know it`s the easiest answer to say "it depends on indivisual not nationality", but if I do it,this topic will be nonsense, and as Drake Coldwinter wrote before ,I agree education plays a big role and has big infruence to us.

Good point in my opinion is Politeness and Respect for older people. The wording to them is the most apparent.We must learn how to express politeness in school days.

Bad point I realized in Aus is "How do I look like from others?"(especially about me!?) I think it`s the most proper one for japanese and at the bottom of all points. I mean we always worry about our reputation in society. probably it`s because japan is so small,if we get a bad reputation, must be difficult and unconfortable to live in the community.

In the end, just I`d love you to try to understand about Japanese shyness, which is arguable but it`s for everyone how much do we feel shyness.

Long story short-

I knew nothing about japan until i started listening to japanese music. As sad as it is to say, JPOP changed my life. Fast forward 3 years and here i am typing on this japanese message board.

Japanese girls... Wow.. Where do I start? Ill start with the one thing no ones mentioned (as far as i read anyway) yet, the eyes.

I know that the current trend in Japan/Korea and other asian countries, is to get that damn eye-surgery. Its nothing more than plastic surgery for overly- self-conscious young females.

I for one, am seriously attracted to my girlfriend's eyes. She often jokes about getting the surgery, and i often joke about breaking up. To me she's only joking about the surgery but i know deep down she wishes her eyes were wider or whatever. All i can say is that I dont give a fuck about how wide open your eyes are. The "asian eyes" to me are beautiful, and i wouldnt change that for the world!

"Are japanese girls easy to pick up?"
Yes. Its that simple. Are they sluts? No, and thats simple as well. I know some japanese girls that are extremely picky about who they chase- but ive seen the yarimanko side of life as well. Part of the reason this stereotype exists, is because of the way women are viewed in American culture. Men are pimps but women are sluts? Thats a question that will forever echo throughout my mind.

My relationships with japanese people (in general) usually stem from our mutual interests, such as music, art, or education. I've met a ton of girls whom I could have nailed just by finishing up their english assignment. Its not so much the idea that they are sluts- so much as the idea that they look to the fluent english speakers for help, and that help can be taken advantage of. Its sad to admit, but theres a white dude on mixi whom i know to have personally taken advantage of some japanese girls. Those people exist and it sucks, but theres nothing you can do to prevent it.

I have definately seen my fair share of easy girls, and most of them are American. So the stereotype that japanese girls are easy comes from the perspective of the outside looking in. American men (for the most part) dont care about japan or japan's culture. The only thing they care about are the cute girls. All men think in a sexual manner, and its that manner that (i think) perpetuates this stereotype.

I dont know if what i said makes any sense, but its from the heart.

Well it's no secret that Japanese girls like white guys. So some of them do become very easy when they come to Australia and it's hard to deny this. It is a pity that some guys become interested in Japan and Japanese girls because they see them all like this though. The most wholesome girl I know is Japanese, she is stunning and very smart but has refuses every guy who asks her out.
I got brownie points for speaking Japanese (uno along with the incredible handsomeness and all) and took her out on a date but even though she said that she liked me in that way she was uneasy doing anything more than holding my hand. In the end she came to think that I viewed her as a sex object and broke up with me. That was the first and last time that she went out with a guy and she has been in Perth for 3 years.

Anyway off of my sappy story of what could have been and onto the point. Just as the stereotypes that all Japanese girls are easy doesn't hold, neither does the stereotype that this is why white guys like them. Many of us are tired of being treated like crap by Australian girlfriends and find that chemistry of all sorts is better with Japanese girls.

While i really hate to see the white/black assholes who obviously take advantage of Japanese girls they are generally easy enough to spot.
-They are losers, the loser type of guy transcends race, same deal as spotting a Japanese loser.
-They don't know much about Japan and are making no real effort to learn the language. They will know how to say hi, where are you from, you are cute and such but won't understand anything that you say to them and won't try to speak Japanese to you.
-They are only friends with Japanese girls rarely guys, this is probably the biggest hint.

If a guy isn't any of the above then he's probably actually interested in you. Though I would go as far as to say that most white guys who chase Japanese girls will be the loser type. So, much of the popularity of Japanese girls in Perth probably is due to the few girls who make a point of sleeping with anyone who speaks English... but ask an Aussie guy what he honestly wants in a wife and you will pretty much get a description of your average small town/countryside Japanese girl.

Also the sample in Perth is biased. A girl who wants to be with many foreign guys is probably more likely to travel to a foreign country. So it is hardly a reflective sample of the Japanese population.

Likewise, guys who approach Japanese girls in clubs, pubs and conversation classes are from a biased sample too. Some are good, I am one of the later in fact. Probably about half the guys who go to conversation classes are the loser type and half are the good type. I assume that you would find the loser type much more commonly approaching in bars and pubs though...probably quite a bit less common on Mixi too (subtle right?:). This is not reflective of the Aussie guy population as a whole though, the good ones often do not go out looking for girls in the pubs/clubs and do not know about the conversation classes.

Anyway, just my thoughts on the matter.

-Ray

Just a few more points on my previous post.

A Japanese girl coming here is less likely to have a boyfriend than one staying in Japan (because attached girls have more motivation to not leave Japan and if they do they might break up). So a decent majority of the influx of Japanese girls are single. The average girl will therefore be easier by circumstance, even if not by nature.

I don't go out to pubs in Perth but I do sometimes when I travel. So in Japan I thought that Japanese girls were easy for white guys, as they were drinking. After all they were much easier than the girls at uni. But then I went drinking in Aus on my first uni pub crawl and I flirted with an Indian girl, a Greek girl, a Malaysian girl and had a white American girl offer herself to me. Another guy told me that he liked her so I introduced them and she didn't mind (or notice???) the change at all. Remember this is without me even showing an interest in their cultures (or lack thereof??? Kidding! American's are alright)
Naturally the aforementioned wholesome, dream Japanese girl did not come on the pub crawl.
I realized here that alcohol makes girls really, really easy... there's no way to get around that.
There is no real difference in China either.

Maybe this stereotype holds partly because tourists will be easier by circumstance and more likely to go out drinking. Japanese tourists after all are far more numerous than other types. The 600,000 odd who visit Aus every year are more than enough to create a false stereotype.