A Call to Arms,
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever got a doughnut by making one for his country. He got it by making the other poor dumb bastard make one for HIS country.
Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to eat Krispy Kreme, wanting to stay out of the doughnut queue, is a lot of horse dung.
Americans traditionally love to eat doughnuts. All real Americans love these sweet, deep-fried pieces of batter. When you were kids, you all admired the torus-shaped ring doughnut, the filled doughnut -- a flattened sphere injected with jam/jelly, cream, custard, or another sweet filling, and yes, even the doughnut hole.
Americans love a Krispy Kreme and will not tolerate a lesser doughnut. Americans love to eat all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost his place in line and laughed. That’s why Americans have never eaten anything other than Krispy Kreme and will never eat anything other than Krispy Kreme. Because the very thought of not eating something “Always Fresh” is hateful to Americans.
Now, KKK, this MIXI community dedicated to all thing Krispy Kreme in Tokyo, is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Japan Times don’t know anything more about real doughnuts than they do about fornicating with them.
Krispie Kreme has the finest food and equipment, the best spirit, and the best customers in the world. You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards they’re going up against. By God, I do. We’re not just going to eat the bastards out of house and home, we’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to deep fry our Original Glazed doughnuts in. We’re going to murder those lousy Mr. Doughnut bastards by the baker’s dozen.
Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out this Friday (06.12. 15) on D(oughnut)-day. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. Mr. Doughnut fans are the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Punch them in the belly. When you put your hand into a bunch of tasty custard that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let Mr. Doughnut do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna go through him like crap through a goose.
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great Asian Doughnut War, you won’t have to say, "Well, I guzzled 抹茶ラテ at Starbucks."
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle - anytime, anywhere.
And remember, Look for the Hot Light!
KKK Logo by Sean, concept by R.