Quality
Liver n' Cheese
There were these three guys at a cafe, drinking their coffee - an American guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy.
They see a really attractive waitress and comment on her good looks. Next thing you know they start making bets on who can get her to go out with them first.
The waitress overhears them, and she goes up to them and says, "Hey, I heard you talking about me. Well, I like an intelligent guy, so let's see who can make the best sentence using the words 'liver' and 'cheese'."
So the American guy goes, "That's easy. I love liver and I hate cheese."
The waitress shakes her heard in disgust.
The black guy goes, "Well, I hate liver and I love cheese."
The waitress says, "That is so stupid. That's essentially the same thing!"
Then the Chinese guy steps up and puts his arm around the waitress' waist. "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
There were these three guys at a cafe, drinking their coffee - an American guy, a black guy, and a Chinese guy.
They see a really attractive waitress and comment on her good looks. Next thing you know they start making bets on who can get her to go out with them first.
The waitress overhears them, and she goes up to them and says, "Hey, I heard you talking about me. Well, I like an intelligent guy, so let's see who can make the best sentence using the words 'liver' and 'cheese'."
So the American guy goes, "That's easy. I love liver and I hate cheese."
The waitress shakes her heard in disgust.
The black guy goes, "Well, I hate liver and I love cheese."
The waitress says, "That is so stupid. That's essentially the same thing!"
Then the Chinese guy steps up and puts his arm around the waitress' waist. "Liver alone, cheese mine!"
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There are four men on a ship: a French man, an American, a Brit and an Indian. The French man throws a bottle of wine overboard, and the Indian sees this and asks him why he did that. His response was, "There's too much of it in my country." Then the American throws a pack of cigarette overboard and again the Indian guy witnesses this and asks him why did that. The American response was, "There's too much of it in my country."
The Brit who saw the whole thing sighs. The Indian, being puzzled, asks him what the matter is. The Brit immediately turns to the Indian, grabs and throws the Indian overboard. The French man and the American exclaim, "Hey, why did you do that for?" The Brit casually remarks, "There's too much of it in my country."
The Brit who saw the whole thing sighs. The Indian, being puzzled, asks him what the matter is. The Brit immediately turns to the Indian, grabs and throws the Indian overboard. The French man and the American exclaim, "Hey, why did you do that for?" The Brit casually remarks, "There's too much of it in my country."
So once three scientists american, japanese, and Indian are discussing their nation's scientific capability, and the american says, "In our country there was this boy who lost his legs in an accident, and we put artificial ones, and today you know he's an olympic gold medalist!" so the japnese laughs and says, "This is nothing. In our nation there was this boy who lost his hands and legs in an accident and we put artificial ones, and today you know, he's a karate champion!" so the Indian laughs and says, "These are nothing. In our nation there was this boy who had no brain, and so we put a coconut into his head, and today you know......he's the Prime Minister of India!"
There's a Chinese, an Indian and a beautiful woman sitting next to each other on a train. The train goes through a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a SLAP!!! The train comes out of the tunnel. The woman and the Chinese are sitting there looking perplexed. The Indian guy is on the floor with his hands holding his red face. Apparently, someone must have slapped him so hard that he falls onto the floor.
The Indian is thinking, "Oh God, that Chinese must have tried to kiss the lady. She thought it was me and slapped me instead." The lady is thinking, "That Indian must have moved to try to kiss me but kissed the Chinese instead and got slapped." The Chinese was thinking to himself...."If the train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Indian again."
The Indian is thinking, "Oh God, that Chinese must have tried to kiss the lady. She thought it was me and slapped me instead." The lady is thinking, "That Indian must have moved to try to kiss me but kissed the Chinese instead and got slapped." The Chinese was thinking to himself...."If the train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Indian again."
Mr Samy Vellu attends a UN meeting on space exploration by 2008. He is representing the Malaysian Prime Minister. Here are some of the conversations:
China Delegate: "By the year 2008, China will start their moon exploration project."
Russian Delegate: "We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon."
George Bush: "We the United States will also explore the moon - for the second time."
Malaysian Delegate: "By the year 2008, Malaysia will explore the sun."
There was a long silence. Bush stood up and asked the Malaysian delegate:
"Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?"
Samy Vellu (thinking for awhile): "We will do it in the evening."
China Delegate: "By the year 2008, China will start their moon exploration project."
Russian Delegate: "We too, we are going to explore the moon. This time we will see to it that our cosmonauts will step on the moon."
George Bush: "We the United States will also explore the moon - for the second time."
Malaysian Delegate: "By the year 2008, Malaysia will explore the sun."
There was a long silence. Bush stood up and asked the Malaysian delegate:
"Isn't it too hot to explore the sun?"
Samy Vellu (thinking for awhile): "We will do it in the evening."
Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was a indian , one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left.
Finally the indian arrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. The indian thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When the indian arrived home, his wife asked "How did the interview go?". The indian replied excitedly, "Great, I got the job, and I've already been assigned to investigate a murder case."
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